Hot Sauce Carry Purse

Husband…..Will Forte
Wife…..Amy Poehler
Debbie…..Maya Rudolph
Reggie…..Bernie Mac

[ open on group of couples together for a barbecue, party music pumpin' the joint ]

Husband: [ enters living room from the outdoor grill ] Honey? They’re ready!

Wife: Alright! Who wants a burger?

Debbie: Mmm! I do!

Reggie: Oh, me too..

Debbie: You have no idea how much Reggie loves his burgers!

Reggie: You just set me up, and clear the way! Where your hot sauce?

Wife: Oh.. hot sauce? Gosh, I don’t know.. I think we have some salsa in the refridgerator..

[ music comes to an abrupt halt ]

Reggie: You ain’t got no hot sauce?! Debbie, baby, you hear that?! They ain’t got no hot sauce! I told you we should have called before we come here! Come on – dammit!!

Debbie: But, baby..

Reggie: Come on, let’s go!

Debbie: But, baby..

Reggie: Come on, woman, get in the car, we got to go!

Debbie: Don’t worry, baby.. I got it all under control. With my new hot sauce carry purse – by Tabasco. [ opens her purse to reveal the various hot sauce accessories neatly organized ] Each compartment is insulted and calibrated to keep your sauces organized and fresh. It ently carries them from wherever you are, to wherever you need to go.

Reggie: That’s right, baby. Like pool parties, the office, movie theaters, funerals and shopping, and any party thrown by white people!

Wife: I’m so glad you guys brought your thingamajig!

Debbie: You mean my hot sauce carry purse?

Reggie: By Tabasco.

Wife: Yeah.. that.

Reggie: And for you dudes who don’t want to be caught dead carrying a purse, there’s a hot sauce carrying purse for men. Oh, it’s still a purse – but it’s for dudes. And it has hot sauce in it, so, baby, be cool.

Jingle:
Heat up your love
Heat up your life.
Heat up your burgers and fries
Hot sauce carrying purse!”

Debbie: Hot sauce carry purse. By Tabasco. Available at Wilson’s Leather.