What is too hot??? When you can’t taste the flavor of your food? When you can’t tell what type of food you are eating? When all you know is that your mouth is on fire, your tongue is burning and you can’t wait to grab that glass of milk? Where do we draw the line?

For some of us, the phrase “too hot” begins when we can no longer tell what we are eating. All we know is that our foreheads are dripping with sweat and our tongue is numb. Do we remember what we have eaten? A piece of chicken, a juicy portion of meat, or a spoonful of chili? It doesn’t matter- whatever we have consumed is too hot. The burning sensation has gradually evolved- overcoming our senses and interfering with rational thought. We don’t care what we have eaten – we simply don’t want to take another bite.

For others, the idea that our food is too hot does not begin until the portion is almost finished. Our mouths are slowly beginning to reject the last few bites of food as our bodies are seemingly catching on fire. Each bite adds to the intense inferno building within our bellies, yet we remain determined to consume our meal, however incendiary it might be. To give up when we are so close to the finish line is ludicrous, and we are left with a certain competitive streak- the meal may have been too hot, but we have come this far and by God we are going to finish it!

And for those select few who consider incendiary eating a hobby and an art, nothing can ever be too hot. These brave souls will never admit that anything is too hot. Each fiery meal is a flavorful banquet; each spicy dish is a savory treat. A meal prepared from the fiery flames of Hell would elicit only a raised eyebrow or slight nod from these fanatical chileheads. These die-hard aficionados search the world for the spiciest dish, the portion of food that is too hot to handle. They are contestants in an unrivaled game of strength – to back away from a meal that is too hot is a symbol of defeat. After all those claims of bravado- Nothing can ever be too hot!- and after all those preliminary years of preparation consuming mild flavored dishes, these lunatics would rather catch on fire than declare their meal too hot.

Most of the normal population has a heat level that can be reached without any hot sauce or pepper extract addition. I, for one, cry uncle when I am forced to eat a restaurant dish labeled hot or spicy. For me, I draw the line when I can no longer tell what I am eating and when the sweat begins to drip into my expensive meal. But these chileheads demand respect. Whether they are consuming their meal to piss me off (as my beloved husband usually does), to prove a point, or to reinforce their status as a chilehead, these lunatics will never back down and never accept defeat. Expect to see them burst into flames before admitting that their meal is too hot.