Virginia FirePits manufacture high quality custom fire pits with a unique flame rim; then sculpt your words, phrase or logo directly into the steel. Your one-of-a-kind fire pit is a unique way to show your support for your favorite organization, your family, or illustrate your personal philosophy with a poetic phrase. Please see our examples for more ideas for your own Virginia FirePit.

Perfect for tailgating, barbeques, your vacation house or favorite campsite, a Virginia FirePit will be the perfect addition to your deck, patio or backyard. A carrying rack is available for purchase as well, so you can easily transport your Virginia FirePit wherever your entertaining takes you. Grills, tools, and other accessories are also available.

Virginia FirePits are created using 3/16 inch thick steel and are carefully welded for a long-lasting product.

Virginia FirePit, LLC
By Reynolds & Easley Manufacturing Co., Inc
P.O. Box 381
1800 Daniel Road Axton, VA 24054
Phone: (276) 650-2821
1-888- 534-7348
Fax: (276) 650-2987
Email: deasley@virginiafirepit.com

NEXT DEFCON EVENT, 5/3/08!!!

The 2nd Annual New England Regional Chili Cookoff

Pleasant View, route 83/452 South Road, Somers, CT 06071

May 3, 2008 will welcome more than 40 Chili Cooks from across the country to Pleasant View in Somers, Ct as they compete for an opportunity to represent the New England Regional Chili Cookoff at the World Competition later this year.

The DEFCON Crew will be serving up our culinary masterpieces of wingdom to the masses! Hand-cooked by The DEFCON Creator himself!
The event will benefit the Enfield Food Shelf.
Sanctioned and governed by the International Chili Society, cooks will compete in Red Chili, Chili Verde and Salsa categories. There will also be non-ICS categories for a Youth Division for kids under 18 years of age and People’s Choice Chili that the public will vote the best. Cash awards totaling $2500 will be distributed to winning teams.

The event is open to the public from 11am to 4pm. Tasting kits will be sold at the gate for $5.00 and two canned goods per adult, kids under 10 free. Live entertainment featuring local talent Acoustic Rick and the New England Regional Chili Cookoff All Star Band will take the stage. Food vendors and crafters will be on hand. A hot pepper eating contest will be sure to heat things up!
*For more information, www.chilict.com or madmike@chilict.com

The
DEFCON Global Assimilation Tour 2008
continues!

Saturday, April 12, 2008, 1-4:30pm

St. James’s Gate

167 Maplewood Avenue

Maplewood, NJ 07040

973-378-2222

We, The DEFCON Crew, in our never-ending quest to assimilate the global population into the DEFCON Continuum, will be rolling into Maplewood, New Jersey once again. Armed with the best wing sauce available on this celestial rock, we will be serving all of our exquisite products (including our newest product, The DM MKII and of course our most infamous elixir, the ZERO) to the masses for FREE once again. That’s correct, FREE WINGS for the afternoon, all you can eat! Where else is it possible to be served a wing sauce that has claimed 14 international awards in the past 3 years for FREE, and not to mention the Official Wing Sauce of the New Jersey Devils? That’s right, NOWHERE!

And as an added bonus, when you find yourself overwhelmed with culinary rapture, which of course in inevitable, you can also purchase our products on location!

Also, if we succeed in getting enough gladiators, we will also have a Wing-Eating DEATHMATCH competition as well!

Do you dare to take a place at The Table of Virtue?

We will be raffling off a bunch of stuff like t-shirts, sauce packs, etc. as well.

Come join The DEFCON Crew in our latest stop in the Global Assimilation Tour 2008! For more information regarding past events, visit our website, www.DEFCONsauces.com, and click on the “appearances” tab.

It’s Thursday morning, February 28. It’s also 4:30 am, 12 degrees, and the wind is kicking. We load our luggage into a friend’s car who volunteered to drive us to the airport (for a free case of beer, of course). We get to Newark airport and join the rest of the red-eyed zombies to be first-hand witnesses to the ineptitude of the Newark TSA agents. It’s truly is amazing to watch, kind of like a cross between “Stupid Human Tricks” on David Letterman and Ed, Edd and Eddy on the Cartoon Network. We get through the security, put our boots and belts back on, and head towards the gate. Cripes, it’s so early, the bars aren’t even open yet by the gate. Damn, not a good start. Let me qualify this statement. These trade shows are my vacations (for the past three years), and vacations are supposed to start with a beer.

We board the plane for the first leg of the annual Albuquerque pilgrimage. Our first stop is Houston, which will be my nemesis down the road…But I digress. The plane, to my unexpected and overwhelming joy, was nearly empty. Everyone was able to find a row of 3 seats and catch a nap. Even better, we arrived in Houston an hour early. Now this is usually a good thing, however, this being the annual pilgrimage to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino, there was bound to be unforeseen problems. Well, now our layover was 2 and a half hours, instead of 1 and a half, ugh. At least the bars were open. We killed the time making fun of the people walking around in the airport, which is always a lot of fun. We grab a bite of some fast food, which always gives me gastrointestinal problems, and not to mention a lot of gas. While we’re eating our genetically-enhanced airport pseudo-food, we spot Captain Thom at the counter.

We greet each other and join them at their table for a bit. We’re on the same flight, and Captain Thom and his wife, being the awesome people they are, offer us a ride in their rental car to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino when we land. What a great offer, as I really wasn’t looking forward to the Sandia shuttle bus, I wanted to get there before the show ended. Well, we board the plane and take our seats. As we sat, the plane became more and more and more full. Yup, packed flight. It’s amazing how many interesting smells get on a packed aircraft, most of them comparable to the fragrance of a back end of a sheep before shearing season. Of course there were a few cretin-like offspring, with the manners of hungry goats, but that was to be expected. As we sat there, a gentleman (and I use that term very loosely), began to sing, directly behind us. I’ve become used to this sort of behavior as of late, having to deal with the multitudes of people who are unplugged from reality and plugged into their iPod, so it didn’t really affect me…At first. The crooning turned to singing, which wouldn’t have been that bad, if the guy didn’t sound like a pregnant cat being squeezed in a vise. The plane departed, the singing picked up its pace and volume, and the cretin-like offspring began their ill-mannered, primate-like behavior. Myself and Maggie just looked at each other and started laughing, and joined in a duet with the moron sitting behind us. Only difference was, he was singing one song, and I broke out into a quite eloquent version of Motorhead’s “Orgasmatron”, quite funny.

By this point I began to notice something rather unusual. The woman sitting next to me seemed to be growing. I was in the center seat, always allowing Maggie to sit by the window (that’s just the kind of guy I am). I don’t mind being the buffer, but this woman began taking over much more than her allotted “room”. It was then that it hit, the gastrointestinal distress from the quasi-food we had at the airport. Ah yes, it was time to make my move! I unloaded a vast gastrointestinal cloud in my seat. Maggie looked at me with a look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I sat there and began to chuckle, watching the growing woman to my left begin convulsing. The man behind us stopped singing and coughed. All was well. Having had my revenge, even the goat children didn’t affect me anymore.

We landed, got our luggage, picked up the rental car with Captain Thom and his wife, and headed to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino. We arrived uneventfully, checked in, and the bellboy and Maggie went up to drop our stuff in the room. I went directly to the location in which the 3 days of battle would take place. I was kind of psyched about setting the booth up, as we had acquired substantially more electronic goodies for this show, and we never did a dry run with all of it. I met up with Lynn (Devil Duck), who had waited patiently for our arrival, at the booth. When I looked, I initially thought Lynn did the unthinkable in goodness and had broken down our pallet. However, fear and madness quickly took over my psyche when I came to the realization that our pallet wasn’t IN our booth (oh joy!). With my head quickly filling with vile and quite reprehensible thoughts, I made my way to the delivery station. They stated to me the pallet had never been delivered. Folks, this is the FIRST time in my entire life I was at a loss for words. My mind was spinning, and before I performed a larynx removal on the gentleman with my bare hands, I called Maggie back in our room, as she had all the delivery information. I explained he will be dealing with my wife, as my patience had worn out, and I didn’t feel like getting a complimentary pair of shiny bracelets from the Unsecured Casino security guys. Soon after that, distant thunder could be heard, and the faint smell of brimstone could be detected, when all of a sudden, in the midst of a rage not seen since the days of the Vikings, Maggie (The Wife Unit, aka The Createss) enters! I softly told the gentleman when conversing with her, to move his hands very slowly or she will attack, not unlike a badger protecting its young. I walked away and watched my lovely wife verbally flay the skin from the bones of the delivery gentleman. Soon after that, she was told that the pallet would show up in a few hours. Way to go Maggie!

Well, with a couple hours to kill, and a large amount of evil adrenaline flowing through the veins, what else is there to do, DRINK! We headed to the “Single Screen Sports Bar” (things are a little different around here, I always thought a sports bar had more than one TV. But then again, this is the same Unsecured Casino that doesn’t allow alcohol into the casino area). Anyway, we met up with a number of vendors and others. Yup, there was MSK, in his glory! We put a few tables together and shot the sh*t, catching up with each other since the last time we all met. Chili, The Badgerland Crew, the Anchor Bar dude, Greg form Bodines, Lynn, and many others had a pretty good discussion. After a time, I felt it was time to check on the pallet. I strolled into the War Room, watching as most people were finishing up setting up their booths, and there it was, THE PALLET! It was now about 6:30pm, and we began the daunting task of setting up our booth. I thank Lynn and Greg from Bodine’s from the bottom of my cryogenically-frozen heart for their help setting up the electrical stuff, which is a majority of our booth. We were about 1/3 of the way done, when they promptly kicked us out at 8pm, knowing full well we had just gotten our pallet. How nice. Well, it seems the annual mis-adventures of the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino is once again definitely unfolding, and having already prepared myself, knowing what has transpired in former years, the Rod Serling-esque escapades are surely not over. My premonitions would turn out to be correct.

After all the excitement the first day, we really weren’t hungry. We headed to the infamous Unsecured Casino Bar, and proceeded to have a few beers. We met up with Greg and MSK and a few others. I asked MSK if he’d like to try the ZERO. I was half-joking, as I knew he had already had it in the past and it hit him like a lightning bolt, but to my amazement, he said ok. I put some on a cocktail straw, and with my standard evil smirk, watched in abject pleasure as he consumed it. His reaction made me scan the immediate area for a defibrillator, but the tears of painful bliss put my mind at ease. He rode the wave of capsaicin like trooper, but I don’t think he’ll fall for my ruse again. Many people went there own way that evening, and we soon found ourselves in the roof bar for a nightcap with the gentleman from Carlsbad Gourmet. We had a couple nightcaps, and headed off to sleep. While we were walking to our room, that I hadn’t been in yet, Maggie informed me of another Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino nicety, we were given a lovely smoking room. Yeah, I smoke, but never in my house. The stench of our room was awful, and we inquired if we could change our room, but the boundless generosity of the resort would show itself again, and they said no. How nice. Well, realizing we were once more captives of the Unsecured Casino, we fell asleep in our own personal tar den.

Friday morning came, and I awoke to the acrid smell of many White Owl and Dutchmasters ultra-premium cigars. We got dressed and headed down to the infamous “Groundhog Day” breakfast. We consumed our breakfast, and off we headed to our booth, to finish what we were only allowed to start the previous day. Our Defcon Acolytes Miriam and Larry, and their little guy Remy (with his own 2-year old sized Defcon shirt) joined us. We set up the rest of our booth, and when we were finished, I headed back to our smoking lounge (room #548 for future reference) to morph into my alter ego, The Creator. It turned out to be a pretty good morning, it seemed many more retailers and wholesalers were drawn to our glowing booth, and many more contacts were made. Cheffy stopped by with a beautiful package of jerky, man I love that guy. If you’ve never met him, he’s got a heart of gold and an attitude to match. Lynn showed up with the dry ice the day before, and we once again we had the coldest beer in the house! It was a happy time, but we all knew that the Gates of Hell would open at 4pm, and the first wave of the biomass would approach. At about 3:45, I went to the smoking area for my final cigarette and white blindfold. As usual, many vendors were present as well, and a feeling of light-hearted levity filled the air. The first day is always like this, as everyone is still fresh and awake. We chatted, and then went back to our allotted parapets to lock and load, and man the battlements for the ensuing skirmish.

The Horn of Valhalla was sounded, and the Gates of Hell opened right on time. Friday is a little more frantic, as the biomass knows that everything is in stock, and most have made a list of what they want, and make their way rather quickly to sate their shopping lists. I was amazed at how many people I recognized from last year came to our booth. A few of them even gave me beers, thanking me for my return, now THAT’S what I call a nice gesture! Many had heard of the release of our new product, the DM MKII, and came in specifically for it. I happily doled out many cocktail straws, and watched in boundless joy as they joined in the chorus of pain-filled whimpers and tears. It was only 3 hours of biomass this day, and the time went quickly. It was a good day, as many friends came by to say hi and just catch up on things. 7pm came, and we packed up. All was good.

We went back to our olfactory nightmare of a room, changed, and then met up once again in the “Single Screen Sports Bar” and met up with a few vendors and friends. I wasn’t really hungry again, so Maggie joined Greg and a few others for the buffet, as I headed back to the “sports bar”. I met up with Pepperman and his wife and we shot a few jokes back and forth, what else is new. Pepperman is the type of dude that just exudes personality, and the fact we both enjoy our hops and barley, we always seem to get along great. After laughing it up for a while, it was time to hit the Roof Bar. We took over the same table we had last year, and as time went on, more and more tables were joined together, and formed a sort of “Camelot of Capsaicin Round Table” with both vendors and assorted friends. Beer flowed very nicely, and the discussions were quite lively, as did the candid picture taking. As a helpful hint for the future, order your beers from more than one waitress, that way you get more than one every 45 minutes. I ended the night by having to concentrate on remaining vertical for the walk to the elevator. See what happens when you don’t eat dinner?

It’s Saturday. I awake (if that’s what you want to call it) feeling as if I slept with a dirty sock in my mouth. I get the clouds out of my head when I pound home the reality that yesterday was the battle, today begins the war. We consume our Groundhog Day breakfast, and once again prepare for battle. I spent most of trade time out in the smoking area, hanging out trying to clear my head from the previous night. I then remember, I have Fosters on dry ice! AWESOME! I don’t care what anyone says, a bit of the hair of the dog works, and I was back to normal (???) soon there after. The couple hours of trade time allowed us to clean up the booth, and prepare for the inevitable onslaught of the second wave of biomass. 11 o’clock came, and the Trumpets of Tarterus sounded, the biomass descended upon us like a tidal swell. Like lightning, Acolyte Larry handed out samples, like lightning Maggie filled shopping bags with product, like lightning I handed out pain to the masses. It was then that it happened. You see, our booth was heavily awash in ultraviolet light, with about a dozen blacklight fixtures that adorned the inside of our booth. As a gentleman handed Maggie a five and a single, the music in my head suddenly stopped when she handed me his currency and asked, “Do you think there is something wrong with this five dollar bill?”. Being directly under one of the fluorescent blacklight fixtures, I gazed upon the currency, the single looked normal, but the five dollar bill glowed like burning magnesium. I examined the bill, it was printer paper. I handed it back to the gentleman and told him I need real money this time. He exchanged it and took the monopoly money to the Unsecured Casino Security. This event put me on guard, and I closely examined the rest of the money. Sure enough, we had a number of singles that glowed as well. The Feds were called in and we were told that they found a number of vendors with a few fake singles and fives. Needless to say, a number of vendors would stop by our booth every now and then to examine their currency under the blacklights. See that, Defcon to the rescue! LOL! The amazing annual mis-adventures of the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino ring true again. Another bump in the road was also found out around this time. There was no wireless internet. Great, that means no credit cards, how wonderful! We would soon find out that the Unsecured Casino was actually charging for wireless. Ummm, perhaps in this alternate plane of existence this is ok, but from where I come from, virtually every business (hotels, resorts, CASINOS, etc) has free wireless throughout the building. Perhaps Rod Serling was indeed in the building for an extended stay!

After these little doses of reality had been digested, we resumed our work, and carried on. Many people showed that day, including Nick, ChiliHeadEd, Buddah, and many more. A blogger from another blog greeted us well, Dreamtheatervt. Nice guy, and really helped us out at the end during breakdown. All you guys definitely help take the days pressures off with a little well-needed humor, I appreciate it more than you know.

The masses kept coming, the pain was endlessly handed out, and our stockpile of products was quickly being depleted. During the afternoon, a code word seemed to have been generated when approaching our booth. One by one, individuals would scrape there way through the audience that stood in front of our booth all afternoon, and approach the guy with the labcoat and orange contacts. I would greet them, and the only thing they would utter was the word “vial”. At first, I wondered if they were describing me, which wouldn’t be too off the mark, but I soon realized they wanted the ZERO, which I keep on my person 24/7 during the show (and usually anywhere else). I happily served the Mephistophelean elixir to the gent, and reveled in happiness as their faces contorted into shapes like something out of the movie “Altered States”. Many testosterone-laden individuals would approach me stating the usual line, “Gimme the hottest you got, ‘cause you can’t make it hot enough”. Well, perhaps they shouldn’t say that sort of thing to a dude in a labcoat and gas mask. One by one, I made them the laughing stock of their “tough guy” crowd. As the afternoon progressed, I took occasional smoke breaks, and would hang with various vendors and customers. It was fun seeing the previous ZERO subjects on the deck, still red-faced and drooling. I would look at them and smirk, and they would inevitably turn away, kinda funny. We had a couple of camera crews come by and do a few shots, even Peppers got in on it, and served up a plate of Defcon wings at our booth to a nice unsuspecting couple. We could’ve been mean, but we served them the #2 (medium). Others tried to take a wing or two, but the gentleman who had been served the plate quickly slapped their grasping hands, gee, he must like the stuff. Another camera, from KOAT, Channel 7 stopped by for their annual take. They filmed one of the ZERO candidates, and his initial ensuing pain, and then showed clips of many different booths and people. At the end of the TV clip, which we saw the next morning, the ZERO candidate uttered, “Winner” and then panned over to the back of Maggie’s chef coat. Nice. It was also nice to see another large group of repeat customers flock to us this day, and they were overjoyed by the fact we had the 32 ouncers available. Many stated, “Man, this should hold me over until next year”. The afternoon turned to evening, and 7pm came and we went. We decided to go to get a nice big steak somewhere, so myself and Maggie, Greg from Bodine’s, and Tom and Michelle from Intensity Academy hopped into Tom’s car and shot off to the Texas Steakhouse where we enjoyed a nice, well cooked hunk of slaughtered bovine.

After dinner, we headed back to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino, but stopped off at a quicky mart for some supplies. My wife, my wonderful wife, with her eagle eyes, spotted my favorite bourbon, Woodford, on one of the shelves, and it was a lot less expensive than it is in New Jersey (come to think of it, most things are). Anyway, we went to the roof bar again for a short while, had a couple beers, and just crashed. It’s good that we did, as tomorrow, Sunday, would be the Day of Judgment, the light at the end of the tunnel, Gettysburg, you get the idea.

It’s Sunday, The Battle of Ragnarok lies in wait. We awake in our nicotine-laced cubicle of residence and prepare for the final battle. We chow down our Groundhog Day breakfast, and head to the glowing ultraviolet fort. The vendors met on the deck before game time. Most, including myself, showed signs of fatigue. The mental wounds of perpetual inane questions like, “How do you make a pepper hot”, began to take their toll. It was time for the vendors to fight back against the biomass of baneful lemurs. Sunday is also the day when the subterranean bipeds come above the surface, and stumble the aisles with a beer in each hand. This usually doesn’t occur until about an hour before the show closes on the last day. I find this time to be the most enjoyable, as any sort of quick wit flies right over their heads, and you are left with a deer in the headlights stare. This day was to prove to be no different. The Drums of the Apocalypse sounded at 11am, and the gates of the Nine Hells opened, and spewed forth its final assault upon us. We stood our ground, and gave no quarter, for this was our day. We had fought the masses with an unending passion that rivaled that of the Spartans at Thermopylae. As the day progressed, and we saw a few of our troops beginning to waiver, they would quickly be brought back from defeat by an adjacent vendor shouting, “HOLD THE LINE! NONE SHALL PASS!”. The day progressed, and the mind-numbing questions, there were many. Our feet and ankles no longer hurt, as we could feel them no more. Mid afternoon came, and the fatigue of the last 72 hours began to weaken us. But it was then, our hearts were lifted, our souls were recharged, for it was the Bermuda Jam guys to the rescue! As they did last year, the Bermudian Knights appeared as benevolent angels, for they had the elixir of life with them, as they did last year, the DARK & STORMYS (Bacardi 151 & Ginger Beer)!!! We pounded back their life-giving manna and resumed our posts, with a heightened staunchness not seen since Friday. We weathered all the public could throw at us. Our stockpiles of product quickly dwindled, and our pockets, they did grow with green.

Twilight was upon us, as the light in the tunnel was near reachable, when we were set upon by the aforementioned subterranean bipeds. They came in packs of 6 or 7, each filled to the eyeballs with testosterone, and a beer in each hand. They approached, and demanded the hottest we had. I looked at my Acolyte troops, Maggie and Larry, and they shot me back the evil grins I so wanted to see. I dipped the cocktail straws into the ZERO and handed it to the greenhorn wannabes. They ingested, they fell, we laughed. Our fortification stood, the Day of Reckoning had ended in victory. It was time for breakdown.

Our breakdown is a little different from the other booths, as the 17 extension cords, and dozens of pieces of lighting equipment take a while to pack up. I was ordered to leave the booth by my trusty wife, so she could clear off the tables first. I have learned to heed her words, for the tone she said it in, there was the ever-present inherent warning. Tony Legner stopped by (the CAT-5 guy), and I followed him back to his booth. I hadn’t the chance to walk around much this year, as we were continually swamped, so I was happy to join him. We traded goods and apparel, and I met, I presume his wife (the Dark & Stormys were taking their toll by this point). Well, this lovely woman is an ex-patriot from New Jersey. When I found this out, I saw an opportunity for some really funny stuff. I had the booth laughing their asses off, as I allowed the New Jersey attitude to roll off my tongue in a non-stop diatribe that would make The Soprano’s proud. Well, it was back to the booth. We had some amazing help from some really great people. Lynn, Greg, and Dreamtheatervt gave us the help we so desperately needed. The best part is, we still had a cooler full of Fosters on dry ice, all is good. The beers were being consumed, the booth was broken down, the pallet was being created, all ahead of schedule, all is very good.

After the pallet was wrapped, we exited to the roof bar for some well-deserved libations. We first met up with Lynn and Kim (Devil Duck and Devil Duckette), Dreamtheatervt, and Greg from Bodines. Soon after, we were joined by the infamous Pepperman and a few others. Pepperman and I sought to retake the table which formed the Camelot of Capsaicin’s Round Table two nights earlier. We approached the gentlemen sitting at it and asked if they would move as we had a mass of people that would likely be showing up. They were leaving anyway, so all was good, and no pressure had to be put on them to relocate. The vendor numbers, they did grow that evening. Much talk of the day’s events ensued, and war stories were told. It was a warrior’s night, a night of remembrance. Friendships had been forged this weekend, and others just reinforced. The night went on, and goodbyes were met with handshakes and embraces. ‘Tis a strange industry we are a part of. Not unlike a Band of Brothers, this species of warrior is unique. Goodhearted and giving, this group genuinely cares about one another, even though their meetings are few and far between. Camaraderie exists that is like no other, and I am proud to be a part of it. The time came when we had to disperse and depart. We loaded into the elevators and one by one said our goodbyes until the next time we meet on the battlefield.

Next stop, Zest Fest, Miami!!!

Well, due to a very large popular demand, we are proud to release our first ever baseball caps!
These are really cool, and come in two distinct styles. Be the first on your block to show the neighborhood that you are a proud Defcon Acolyte!

Check out the website for ordering instructions!

WWW.DEFCONSAUCES.COM

Thanks again for your support,
John & Maggie

Congrats to Rob Derosier from Salem, Mass., the latest winner of the Defcon Deathmatch Torch and a friend of Chilehead Ed’s.

It was a lot of fun (what else is new?)

Hudd drove in from Indiana. I felt really bad when he came in second again. I dare say he’s gonna be at the Jungle Jim’s Deathmatch with a vengeance! The guy who beat him from Massachusettes was a machine. He happened to be in the area on business, and ChiliHeadEd told him about the event. I would LOVE to do one in Albuquerque, but I don’t even know where to begin asking.

~ Defcon Creator

Well, it’s that time of year again. The NFL Championship games are a week away. What a better way to watch them, but with some of the best wings that exist? Oh yeah, and they’re FREE!

Join the Defcon Crew for the first event we’re doing this year! As usual, FREE Defcon Sauces wings all afternoon. We’ll be having wing-eating competitions as well, and if we can get a few brave infividuals together, there will be a Deathmatch as well! Well, hopefully we’ll see you there. We have a lot of events coming up, so check the upcoming events on the website, who knows we may be rolling into your town under cover of darkness!

Here are the specifics:

Sunday, January 20th, 1-4:30(ish)
McLynn’s Pub
250 Morris Avenue
Springfield, NJ 07081
973-258-1600

www.DEFCONsauces.com

Well, we’ve had a virtual mudslide of e-mails in the last month or so from people wondering what we we’ve up to, as we haven’t really kept anyone up to date with all the goings-on around here. It’s true, we have been quiet for a little while as of late, but after a grueling schedule of 17+ events this summer, we took a little down time to ourselves. However, behind the scenes for the last 6+ months, we have also been working on a rather large project that is going to push our little company to the next level. Nick, Cheffy and Bob, in Nicks’ truck on my ride back to the airport in Dallas during Zest Fest, got a sneak peek into the lovely world of corporate negotiations. Well, after hammering out the smallest of details, and many sleepless nights, we here at DEFCON HQ are proud to make this announcement. As of now, Defcon Sauces is proud to be:

“THE OFFICIAL WING SAUCE OF THE NEW JERSEY DEVILS AND
EXCLUSIVE SUPPLIER TO THE BRAND NEW PRUDENTIAL CENTER ARENA”.

It’s a friggin’ HUGE step for us, and being that this is the first year of the new arena in Newark, NJ, getting in on the ground floor of the arena was a major priority. The new arena is absolutely gorgeous. We went to the open house last Sunday and were floored. The best part is, our wings will be served at ALL events (over 150 this year alone) at the bars and restaurants throughout the building. They will have all 3 levels of heat, and the bottles will also be available in each of the luxury boxes for every event. As you may or may not know, myself and Maggie are HUGE hockey fans, and it’s very special to us to be able to promote our favorite team in a way that we see apropos. The above advertisement will be displayed throughout the arena as well as during every event. Man, I’ve been wanting to let people know what we were up to, however, I didn’t want to jinx it. So, if you’re ever in the area, stop by the most amazing (not to mention expensive) arena ever built in the United States, and chow down on some Defcon wings! Oh yeah, and keep an eye out for the Inaugural Year labels (hint).

Ok, that being said, we are also working on 3-4 different things for next year. As you can understand, with myself and Maggie, sleep is considered very over-rated and just a plain waste of time. We will be launching various new and quite interesting things at the many trade shows we will be attending (Albuquerque, Miami, Dallas and Jungle Jims), and yes, we will be issuing another Batch or two of ZERO’s during the course of the upcoming year. We kind of fell behind on the production of a Batch #5, mainly due to the fact our time was not our own this summer. Who knows, the ZERO just might be available to the consuming public sometime next year as well (insert evil chuckle).

Man, this is a load off my mind being able to write this, and I must apologize for being so quiet for the last couple months, but the means have certainly justified the ends in this case. We here at DEFCON HQ do not know the meaning of term “slowing down”. Right now, we’re in a peak season with football and all, and have throttled back the event calendar a bit. Do note, we WILL be doing our annual NFL Championship Defcon Day at Toro Loco in South Orange, NJ again on Sunday, January 20th. Yes, there will be a Deathmatch. Many of you who attended the last January event definitely remember the chaos!

With all that being said, we wish to thank all of you, who have allowed us to evolve into something much more than we had expected, especially given the short amount of time we have been around. We look forward to meeting all of you at some time, many for a repeat introduction, perhaps at one of our events or trade shows we’ll be showing up at. With the amount of fun we’ve had thus far, we’re looking forward to many more laughs with everyone, and maybe, just maybe, a few beers as well.

Greetings from Defcon HQ.

Those of you who joined us at the Weekend of Fire at Jungle Jims in Fairfield, Ohio a couple weeks ago, were the first to see these little guys. We figured many other people put together some sort of special package for the show, why don’t we? Well, The Createss has came up with this little goodie. It’s the Defcon Stable. It’s a jar of Habby Pony and a jar of Habby Horse, packaged in a cool little wooden crate, along with hay and a cute little horsie (see website for picture). The crates are each signed and numbered, as is the little horsie. The jars were made to be eaten, as they do have a shelf life, so when you’re finished with the horseradish, just put them back in their “Stable”.

There were 33 of these little guys made, and we have less than 20 remaining. They are $25.00 each plus S&H. Get them while they last….

Here is the link to order:
http://www.defconsauces.com/stable1.htm

Well, seeing as Nick wasn’t able to attend the Weekend of Fire at Jungle Jim’s this past weekend, he asked me to do a Point of View piece on it. Get a beer, sit back, and enjoy the read…

It’s Friday morning, 4am. We had packed the trailer and truck Thursday night so we could hop into the Defcon Assimilation Vehicle and start our journey the next morning with no delays. It actually worked this time, oh joy! We hit the road by 5am and started our pilgrimage west. It was somewhat an uneventful ride until we hit a 1-1/2 hour delay on 81 south due to a UPS truck deciding to do a backflip. I met a few interesting people on Route 81 while we were sitting still in traffic, what’s the sense of sitting in your car? Anyway, after this delay, we proceeded.

I had forgotten the joy of how long it takes to drive the width of Pennsylvania, kind of like slowly drilling a hole through your head with a dull bit. At least the comical drivers kept us awake with their antics. We rolled into Ohio about 4:30pm, pretty good time, and began our setup. Most booths had already been setup and the vendors were nowhere to be seen (probably having a few cold ones). This in fact was a good thing, as they might have been a little scared when I opened the 2 crates of lighting apparatus that was to be strung up in our booth. We unloaded our stuff, with the help from Amy and Sandy from Peppers (THANK YOU!), and moved our wares into the convention center.

The Oscar Convention Center was nothing short of gorgeous. I would come to learn that anything Jungle Jim puts his hands on is top notch. Even the mens room was beautiful, you could have a card game inside of it. We met up with Bret, and he welcomed us. He seemed like the weight of the world had been taken off his shoulders, which is understandable, as he just finished his crash course in trade show logistics, and there was no stopping the show now. We exchanged levities, which would become daily protocol. Maggie started setting up the tables, tablecloths and regular stuff, while I opened the lighting boxes and began to unload “The Tesla Box” of electronics. We had a corner booth this time around, and we were kind of “winging” it for our setup (no pun intended), which came out better than expected. As I was stringing wires through every square inch of the tent interior, passer-bys would stop and say hello. We met many of the usual suspects, but also many local vendors I had never met before. All in all it seemed like a bunch of nice people, something you don’t always get at every show.

Well, after about 300 cable ties were put in place, I hit the master switch, and the booth lit up like an X-Ray room. The booth was glowing like a tailings pond downstream from a nuke plant. AWESOME! A small gathering of people gazed upon our “Booth of Doom” and asked, “Who/What are these Defcon people?”. We laughed and continued our setup. We finished, and were completely exhausted. Oh, did I mention it was about 95 degrees with matching humidity outside? I would end up losing about 10 pounds of water weight this weekend. Dan and Mike from Badgerland stopped by, with beer in hand, to greet us. I cracked a Fosters (no dry ice this time around) and gazed upon our booth creation with silent bliss. The four of us went back to the hotel, so we could finally check in and change clothes real quick. As we were getting ready to depart for dinner, we met up with a group of vendors who were about to head out for the evening. This group got on the Cooch & Pootan Party Short Bus, which was nothing short of amazing looking, and they headed out to the highway. We left for dinner as it was now about 9:30pm. We searched around for a place to eat, but didn’t want the standard Applebee/Bennigans/Friday cookie cutter fare. We stumbled upon El Coyote, and proceeded to have a really good dinner. We met up with Lars and his mom from Csigi Chili Sauce as well and discussed the upcoming 48 hour bout with the shuffling biomass of retail buyers. Earlier that evening, in speaking with Amy from Peppers, we were to meet up with the crowd on the Chooch & Pootan Party Bus at The Throttle Stop, a cool little biker bar. We showed up there…But no chiliheads. I called Amy, and was told they moved to Roosters. Well, let’s just say we called it an early night, as the directions we received were a little short of correct. This would actually be a Godsend the next day, as the battle would commence for 9 hours.

We awoke on Saturday quite sober and ready to do battle. We got to the booth around 9am to do a couple finishing touches on the booth, and to relax until the 11am bell would sound and the masses would begin their assault. Members of the Party Bus began to arrive, a bit disheveled from the previous nights activities, something that happens at every show we’ve ever done. 11am came, and so did the people. Many vendors fears were put to rest, this being a first show for this venue, and no one knew what to expect. Well, it seemed Bret had fulfilled his end of the deal. In speaking with a few, it seems over 1500+ showed up that first day, not too bad. One thing I noticed that was a lot different from the Fiery Foods show, the people were overly polite, and many actually had knowledge about what they were consuming. Not once was I asked the questions that hurt my brain every March in Albuquerque like, “How do you make a pepper hot?”, the people actually asked serious questions, ones that were worth an explanation. Many eyes were attracted to the 2 glowing white lab coats and product labels in the booth. Yeah, it was cool.

The DEFCON Lab

As usual, people heard about the little vial I always have on hand (The ZERO), and I enjoyed feeding it to the masses. The hiccups, coughing, sneezing and whimpering were music to my ears. There was also to be a Defcon Deathmatch that evening, and we met up with Rommy and Nadia from Wings & Rings, who were sponsoring the event, which was located in the same complex around the corner.

The day went well, and we made a few new friends. 7pm came, and we gathered our Deathmatch equipment and headed down to Wings & Rings. The rain had JUST stopped, so it was the perfect time to do this event outside, due to a proactive approach anticipating the possible oral evacuation of contestant(s). We had about 40 people signed up for this event, and would you believe only 6 made it to the actual table, and 3 were bloggers, go figure. Anyway, we sat the contestants down, gave them their Defcon Evacuation Receptacles (Chinese take-out boxes). There was quite the audience, including many vendors and friends. I have never had a Deathmatch in which the focus was so intense. No trash talking, nothing, just concentration. Lars from Csigi taped the video for us, and I hope to have a copy of it on our website soon. DK, as many already know, was the overall winner. The man was a machine in this event. One gentleman, after finishing, and during the awards ceremony, disappeared into the mens room for a little while for a gastrointestinal respite. Not unexpected. Bret had come up with some great prizes, which everyone was happy with.

The Deathmatch sauce is on its way!

Afterwards, while we were cleaning up, we left out the remaining wings and Deathmatch sauce. A few brave souls tested there luck, not believing the stuff was as heinous as we said it was. Well, from the reactions of most, they will be needing skin grafts on their tongues. One guy, after eating one wing, went for a second, but upon the first bite of the second wing, made a mad dash towards the mens room, leaving his stomach contents as a trail. The day was now complete.

The Deathmatch Contestants

And The Deathmatch Winner!

We ended up hanging out for a while that evening, but made it somewhat of an early evening as we were beat. We forgot to eat dinner that night, but I was pleasantly surprised that Ohio has White Castle! I ended up scarfing down about 15 of the little suckers, and then hit the sheets.

Sunday, the last day of battle, was upon us. We manned our respective parapets, and cloaked ourselves in ultraviolet light once again. They came, they bought, we conquered. Sunday was a relatively quiet day compared to Saturday, and the time actually went by rather fast. When closing time hit, we began our breakdown, which took about 2 hours. Bret stopped by again and we discussed the weekend. I explained to him that I thought it was a great success, considering it was the first show. I personally think next years attendance will dwarf this one. We did very well, as did others, and it was nice meeting so many damn polite people, I wasn’t aware that many existed.

Afterwards, myself, The Createss, Amy and Sandy from Peppers, Chooch and Pootan headed out to El Coyote once again. Who do we meet again, but Lars from Csigi. We ate dinner, quaffed some fermented brew, and figured we go somewhere for a nightcap. We ended up back at Wings & Rings, the location of the Deathmatch. Rommy and Nadia, the owners greeted us as well, and we discussed the weekend with them. It seems Rommy is looking forward to a MUCH bigger Deathmatch. We’re talking about in the parking lot. I will be discussing this event with Bret in the near future, as this could be an AWESOME way to raise money for a charity and get a great pull into the show itself.

Bret in all his glory. Nice helmet!

All in all, we had a great time, and I think Bret did an amazing job. We are looking forward to doing it again, and will add this event to our exalted “annual event calendar”. If you missed it this time around, make sure you don’t miss it twice in a row. I think everyone at the show had a good time, and many friendships were started, and many more just reinforced a little bit. It’s one of the amazing things about this industry, virtually everyone has fun with it, and looks forward to meeting others with the same interest. I’d like to thank the bloggers that made the trek, as it is always great to meet up with you guys/gals, and those that attended their very first hot sauce show, hopefully we’ve indoctrinated you into the Chilihead Sphere of Influence.

The DEFCON Global Assimilation Vehicle at Jungle Jims