I’m a changed man.

A few months ago, after reading a review for Ass Murdering Hot Sauce, I posted a comment that said, “I refuse to buy anything, no matter how good it is, that mixes references to bodily functions with the food I’m going to eat”. Several like-minded chiliheads chimed in, but many others responded with comments that characterized me as a narrow-minded prude. DK (alias Gatorman) even called me an “anal snob”.

DK….you were right.

I might never have tasted that Ass-Murdering sauce, if not for a good-natured challenge lobbed at me by its maker, better known on the HSB as Turk. He sent me a “re-packaged” version of the same sauce, with a label designed for….well…anal snobs like me. He asserted that if I could just get past my hang-up with the theme on the label, I would see (and taste) what I was missing.

How could I say no when I saw the bottle? For the sample he sent me, Turk playfully re-named his product “Warm Fuzzy Thoughts” Hot Sauce, and created a label depicting a cute animal frolicking among the flowers.

I got the point, so I cracked it open. In an instant, Turk’s point was proven! I’m an ass man from now on. Go ahead! Bring on the sauces with labels making reference to “that region” of the anatomy. I still might hesitate to buy something that mentions certain afflictions of the ass, or the bodily systems attached thereto. I have my limits. But everything else is fair game, thanks to Turk, a guy who has a great sense of humor…and such incredible pride in his excellent products!

There have been two recent favorable reviews of Ass Murdering Hot Sauce (AMHS) on HSB, (INSERT LINKS TO REVIEWS HERE) so there is no need to repeat what was said. I concur with those reviews, with the exception that I find it plenty hot for my taste (which is a good thing!) and I can say unreservedly that I truly love this sauce! So, in appreciation for Turk not only opening my eyes to prejudices that a hot sauce reviewer should not have, but also to a damn good sauce, I offer the following recipe.

I didn’t think up this recipe until I had immersed myself in AMHS – tasting it straight from the bottle, putting it in soups, sauces, stews, putting it on cue, rice dishes, pasta, sandwiches; you name it! After several weeks of burning myself and thinking about the attributes of AMHS, I came up with a recipe so simple, it’s almost embarrassing… but wait till you taste it!

To make Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken, I first took chicken thighs and drumsticks and patted them dry with paper towels. AMHS has a great underlying garlic flavor, but before marinating, I just wanted to give the chicken an extra shot of garlic and a little salt, so I rubbed each piece with Adobo seasoning.

You can find Adobo seasoning in many different flavors, usually at your local Latin or Filipino grocery store, or in the spice or ethnic foods section of your supermarket. For this recipe, I just wanted the basic Adobo. Give the pieces a good coating and let them sit for a few minutes while you make the marinade.

Now here’s the ridiculously simple recipe. Remember, AMHS has a lot going on. It’s piquant from the mustard and plenty hot from the peppers. I didn’t want to mask any of its qualities; just provide a medium for helping it do the best possible job on the chicken that I was going to grill later. So, it’s one part AMHS and one part SOUR CREAM. That’s it.

A whole bottle of AMHS and a half pint (1 cup) of Sour Cream (Oh, Important! Use whole Sour Cream, NOT low-fat or non-fat) will coat 8 pieces of chix just fine. And the only other thing you might want to add would be a few dozen whole black peppercorns and/ or some crushed dried red chiles, as shown here:

Marinating time: This batch marinated for two hours and the flavor was great. But I think the best time range for this to really do its job would be 6 to 8 hours.

Grilling heat: Pretty hot. This a Tandoori style grilling method, meaning that the meat is supposed to cook more quickly at high heat, leaving it nicely cooked (not too burnt) on the outside and incredibly tender and moist on the inside.

Why Sour Cream? The addition of a dairy product to marinades is used extensively in places like India and the Middle East. I theorize that it is for three reasons; first, there are enzymes in dairy that seem to help tenderize meat. Second, dairy imparts a rich flavor to the marinade. After you mix AMHS with the sour cream, take a whiff and you will see what I mean. Heavenly! (Quite honestly, before throwing the chix in the marinade, I was tempted to dip some potato chips in it!) Third, it seems to protect the meat from drying out while it’s grilling. Here is the finished product sitting by a few of my newly-planted peppers; Cubanelles on the left, Habs on the right.

I loved this Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken so much, I can’t wait to try the same marinade on…well…almost everything! Using the same method of rubbing with Adobo, then marinating, I believe it’s going to be a home run on wings, pork loin, pork tenderloin, pork ribs, tiger shrimp, firm grilling fish like Swordfish or Rockfish, loin lamb chops and rack of lamb. Chiliheads, order a mess of this stuff for your summer grilling, not to mention that it’s a great condiment for burgers, dogs, cue, etc..

So, my friends, not to belabor the moral of the story, but I was guilty as charged of not opening my mind to certain sauces because of my personal dislike for crass labels. I admit it – I’ve been an ass! DK and others, good on ya for putting me in my place. I deserved that kick in the ass. Turk, your passion for peppers and sauce-making is an inspiration.

Additional information and ordering instructions at www.bisummo.com

BELTWAY BURN – PART 1

For anyone living around the Capitol Beltway (Washington DC area), or just passing through, here is the first in a series of restaurant reviews designed to help you find great spicy food just minutes off the Interstate in Northern Virginia.

I’m hoping this will be useful to chiliheads up and down the East Coast, because sooner or later, your travels might very well bring you through the DC area on I-95.

Yeah, there are plenty of BBQ joints around here, but I want to start out with an Indian place that has been open a year in Lorton, VA, less than ten minutes North of Quantico Marine Base or South of the I-95/495 “Mixing Bowl”, and just a few hundred yards off the highway. You need to know about My Karma Indian Bistro because; a.) they have some of the best Indian food in the DC metro area and; b.) they are happy to indulge your craving for heat!

The owner, Subhash Gavri, is there most of the time, so be sure to introduce yourself and tell him you love hot, spicy food. He will be happy to make some recommendations. If you have a really good tolerance for heat, make sure he knows what you mean by “spicy”. His Nepalese chef has a heat scale that stops at “double spice”. Insist on a “triple spice level” if you want to be scorched. On my umpteenth visit recently with fellow chilihead and bon vivant, Bob Linn, we came up with the following recommendations:

For an incredible variety of flavors and spices, you have to get a few things that are not scorchers. The best feed on the menu, which is great for sharing, is the Tandoori Mixed Grill, shown here:

This is a sizzling platter of meats and seafood, each one spiced or marinated in its own unique way. Because of the intense heat of the Tandoori oven, these items cook in a matter of a few minutes and they are incredibly tender and moist. Sizzling beneath all of those goodies are lots of sliced onions. I guess you could say this is like an Indian version of fajita.

Be sure to get a basket of the Nan (Indian bread made fresh in the clay Tandoori oven). My two favorites are Garlic Nan and Onion Kulcha. Here, they are served with my favorite spicy dish from My Karma – Chicken Vindaloo.

Vindaloo is traditionally a style of cooking that surrounds a meat (such as Tandoori-roasted chicken) and potatoes with a hot, spicy sauce. Sometimes, there are tomatoes in the sauce, sometimes not, and usually it has a touch of vinegar. The version that I tried for the first time at My Karma a year ago has brought me back there at least once a month! Don’t pass up the vegetable dishes, which can be spiced up on request. They are incredibly flavorful, using spinach, eggplant, okra, onions, tomatoes, chick peas and lentils, to name a few.

For those chiliheads who are unfamiliar with Indian cuisine and might have been reluctant to try it, My Karma is the perfect place to give it a whirl. Subhash is a friendly, informative host. For those who know their Indian food, you will be duly impressed too. It is well worth your making a stop and I would bet once you eat there, you will plan your next trip thru DC to coincide with the lunch or dinner hour.

For information and directions, go to www.mykarmabistro.com .

Add another “staple” hot sauce to the table. Now, I don’t say that lightly, but…for those chileheads looking for something new and exciting, I’m tempted to tell you to skip this review. However…if you are looking for another excellent hot sauce that has a lot of “typical” hot sauce traits, stick around, because Key West Key Lime Hot Sauce is a star performer!

For starters, if you are attracted to an eye-appealing label, you will want this sauce on your table. That said, the tropical Key West scene on the label leads you a bit astray on what you might expect to taste.

Ingredients: Serrano Chiles, Apple Cider Vinegar, Ancho Chiles, New Mex Chiles, Key Lime Juice, Lime Zest, Roasted Garlic, Cumin

Appearance: I shake the bottle and take a peek through the glass. There’s a lot of action in there. The sauce looks on the thin side, but it also has a gritty appearance, with tiny seeds and lots of little bits and pieces ranging in color from tan to bright red. The base sauce itself is a nice brick-red color, which, of course, is a stereotypical hot sauce color. 8.5/10

Consistency: Poured out on a plate, the sauce spreads almost like a salsa and readily separates at the edges. It would find every nook and cranny of whatever you poured it on. 8/10

Smell: Taking my first whiff off the top of the bottle, my mind quickly heads due West from the Florida Keys. Instead of a Caribbean – style smell that the label (and location) would suggest, I get a distinctly Tex-Mex smell. There is a hint of smoke and it smells a little “tomatoey”. As promised in a previous post, I have started to avoid reading the label until after I taste the sauce. So I learn later that the combo of chiles and the presence of Cumin are responsible for the Mex qualities of this sauce. It also has no tomatoes, but it still smells that way. Again, don’t get the impression I don’t like this sauce. The smell is very inviting, a 9/10, and I can’t wait to taste it!

Taste: I take a pull directly from the bottle. The taste is true to the smell – Tex-Mex. The first thing I taste is…well…Tomato! I wonder why? There’s none in there. There is a little sourness, but not enough for it to be identified as lime juice. But it is there in just the right proportion to give this sauce a characteristically piquante taste. It also has a nice garlic aftertaste. What I don’t taste is salt. I’m all for using restraint in salting sauces, but this one has a noticeable lack of salt, which I think would enhance the flavors even more, if used moderately.

The grit is there, and I like it. It has a great mouthfeel. It also has a slight smoky flavor when eaten alone, but here’s another mystifying thing about this sauce. When you use it on smoky foods, it makes them taste smokier!

I plopped a bunch of Key West Key Lime Hot Sauce on a plate of leftover Jambalaya. The smokiness of the ham and Andouille sausage really jumped out at me when eaten with the sauce. I sense this would also be great in (or on top of) chili, chili dogs, and most Mexican dishes. Taken at face value, it rates an 8.5/10. It simply tastes “hot-saucy”.

Heat: Serranos (the predominant chile in this sauce) tend to get me in the back of the throat, but this did not. The combo of chiles in this bottle seem to keep the burn mid-mouth. The heat doesn’t really build – it is what it is, and it stays consistent throughout your meal. Give it a 4.5-5 on the HSB heat scale of 10. Taken in sufficient quantity, it will produce a runny nose and face sweats, which arrive simultaneously.

Overall: This sauce imparts a nice tang to anything. It would be a great “starter sauce” for someone looking to break into a medium heat sauce. But, for heat seekers, it might also lend itself nicely to layering with some deathly Habanero sauce. Just remember the salt shaker. Overall, 8.5/10.

Manufactured By: Hot Shots Hot Sauce
Available for purchase: From HotSauce.com or any other number of online hot sauce retailers

Several months ago, I was browsing the shelves of my local Latin “mercado” when I was stopped in my tracks by the image of a fair maiden, semi-nude, resting serenely on a rock in the middle of the ocean. The image was not on a calendar, or the cover of Sports Illustrated. No, it was on a sardine can! I bought it simply because I thought the label was cool and it would look good in my pantry on a special shelf I keep stocked with culinary curiosities.

After all, who could resist La Sirena – the mythical “Siren of the Sea” who, for centuries, has lured seafaring men to come closer for a look, only to have their vessels dashed upon the rocks, and they to be thrown into the foamy surf, and drown with that beautiful, haunting image being the last thing to go through their minds before sinking into the briny depths for eternity.

So, visually speaking, La Sirena is irresistible. Hey, look closely at the label – even the sardine is jumping out of the water for a peek!

But how does the product taste? I might never have known had I not stepped on the scale after the holidays and decided I needed to change my diet. I decided to try sardines for lunch one day – it seemed like a low-fat, low-cal alternative. Just then, the Siren caught my eye again. So I read the back of the label:

Ingredients: Sardines, Tomato Sauce, Salt and Spices

Reading further, I liked seeing that this lunch-size portion of sardines was 110 calories/ 20 calories from fat. Hmmm, I’ve seen those numbers before and the product tasted like sawdust! Anyway, I also liked the fact that sardines are rich in the beneficial Omega-3 fatty acids. The only caveat is that while Omega-3 is supposed to be “heart-healthy”, this little can of sardines also delivers 90 mg. (30% of your RDA) of Cholesterol. So, on the health meter, that lies somewhere closer to a bowl of Haagen Dazs than it does to sawdust…just a word to the wise.

Anyway, as I opened the can I was hoping that something packaged with chili would provide some flavor. A visit to the producer’s website revealed that the “Pica Pica” was a very popular product. One thing was for sure – it’s as eye-appealing on the plate as La Sirena herself!

These are about as large a sardine as you will find in a can, so you get a lot for your 110 calories – three big, beautiful fish – heads off, tails on. Be warned that if you have never eaten a canned sardine, it’s best to start with the smaller ones. The big ones like these are somewhat of an acquired taste because you are eating the whole fish – bones, innards and all. That’s true of the small ones too, but the big ones are a bit more “crunchy”. So, if you are still with me, know that this is the best tasting can of sardines on the planet!

Taste: The first thing of concern with some canned fish products is the salt level. They got it just right in the Pica Pica. The next thing is how nicely the acid in the tomato sauce balances the oily fish flavor of the sardine. Lastly, the flavor of the chilis complements the fish, salt and tomato flavors perfectly! It’s a fresh chili flavor, as if they mixed equal parts tomato sauce and Sambal Oelek (which is an educated guess, since they are packed in Thailand).

Heat: For me, the heat was just right for this type of product – probably a 5.5 on the 10-point HSB scale. Assuming these are Thai peppers, they do just what you would expect. The burn starts at the front of the mouth, then spreads to the tongue, roof of mouth, then the back of the throat. The heat stays pretty steady through the meal rather than building to a crescendo. By the time you have downed the second sardine, you have a good lip burn and a mild shvitz just above the eyebrows. I am always amazed at how localized the sweat points are for different types of peppers – one can make you perspire just above the eyes, another affects you just below the hair line, or on the side of the nose, or back of your head.

Where to Purchase: Well…that’s about as big a mystery The Siren herself. I tried to get this information, to no avail. On the can, it lists the distributor as Otis McAllister Inc. www.otismcallister.com . I wrote to the email address on the website and it bounced back to me. I also went on the website of La Sirena www.lasirenafoods.com and the inquiry form on the site bounced back at me as well. So I called the phone number for La Sirena and got what sounded like a cell phone greeting in Spanish.

So, if you want to find this product (and I think it’s well worth the hunt!), start first at your local Latin grocery store. (Even though this product is made in Asia, it is packaged for the Latin consumer). Failing that, maybe someone who speaks Spanish can call that number at La Sirena and report back to the blog.

For those who are lucky enough to hear the Siren’s song, enjoy!

The only thing I love more than a good sauce is one with a good story behind it. So, after you read this review, whether you decide you like the sauce or not, go to the sauce maker’s website, www.elephantpepper.com , and read about their company mission. It’s impressive. It turns out that they grow peppers (chillis) in that part of the world not only for spicy dishes, but as an elephant repellent! To quote from the Elephant Pepper website:

Elephants Hate Chilli! Elephant Pepper chilli sauces were inspired by the conservation work of the Elephant Pepper Development Trust, through which rural farmers grow chillies to deter elephants from raiding their subsistence crops. Our sauces are made using these same chillies, which are fed by the mighty Zambezi River, baked by the hot African sun, and tilled by enterprising rural farmers. Only the best grade of chillies is used in our products, ensuring that every bottle is not only good for Africa, but great tasting too.

Fortunately, this review was not conducted by a chilli-hating elephant, but rather a chilli-craving human. There is a lot to like about this sauce, but I must caveat that the ingredients posted on the website are slightly different from those listed on my bottle. After conferring with Nick, we discovered I was tasting a batch that pre-dates the new recipe, but we are reasonably sure the taste is very close.

So, the Ingredients, as tasted, are: Water, Vinegar, Sugar, Baobab, Tomato, Onions, Vegetable Oil (palm), Chilli, Citric Acid, Colourant, Natural Preservatives.

First Impression: I like the packaging – nice clean logo super-imposed on the silhouette of a Baobab tree – an image synonymous with the African continent. It’s funny, but the logo is a bit contradictory. That beast should be rearing up and running the other way, but instead, he seems to be eating the plant that is intended to repel him. As I look into the bottle, I see a lot going on and I am eager to pop it open.

Appearance: I pour this sauce out on the plate and it has the perfect consistency for coating anything. It is chocolate brown with almost a curry-yellow tinge. I am guessing that the “colourant” mentioned in the ingredients is turmeric. The sauce is relatively smooth (vs. gritty) with tiny red, brown and black flecks. I am more than ready to proceed with the organoleptic examination.

Aroma: I take a whiff and, if I closed my eyes, I would think it was a sauce I reviewed a few months ago called “The Sauce”. I notice one ingredient common to both sauces – oil. Oil is not only a good foundation for an emulsion, but it imparts a rich flavor and, in this case, balances the nose of vinegar nicely. All in all, this sauce smells piquant, or tangy, as the label suggests, but is not suggestive of the flavors or heat to come. So I take a swig from the bottle.

Taste: The first thing that hits me is sweet. Now, I know from many of the posted comments on some recent reviews, I just lost about two-thirds of you. Sorry, I can’t tell a lie. This stuff has an initial sweetness you can’t hide, but it quickly gives way to the heat. I get a little tomato, which is nice, and some flavor from the oil. I wish I knew what Baobab tastes like, so I could tell if its flavor is discernable.

But, no matter. You should know that Baobab is good for you!!! Just as the peppers keep the elephants away, Baobab helps us humans keep the doctor away. The Baobab, you might know, is also called the “Tree of Life”, or sometimes, the “Chemist Tree”. Baobab in its most common edible form is nearly equal to the Pomegranate in its anti-oxidant qualities. But the rare (and, I suspect, expensive) red fibers of the Baobab fruit contain 500% greater anti-oxidants than the Pomegranate. So, put that in your Martini!

But, I digress, and my veal stew awaits the slathering of sauce.

Heat: I pour a generous amount of Baobab Gold on my piping hot bowl of veal stew and mashed potatoes. The initial sweetness is the same when it’s on food, so you have to decide whether you are willing to put up with that momentary sweetness to be rewarded with what I think is one of the most pleasing heat-waves you could ever experience.

I know not what variety of chilli(s) they put in Baobab Gold, but the result is as follows: a forthright and well-balanced combination of burns that comes on quickly, finds its place, and warms you to the core without ever attacking one particular part of you. It is a consistent, omnipresent (but by no means wimpy) burn. It starts immediately by finding every corner of the mouth. A sweat breaks out on the sides of your nose in no time, then moves to the top of your head. This is followed by tingling on the tongue, lips and back of the throat. Like I said, it’s the consistency of the heat that really impresses me about this sauce. I give it a 5.5 on the HSB scale. It starts that way and ends that way.

Overall: I give Baobab a 9/10. I recommend this sauce obviously to the sweet sauce lover. I’m thinking this would go great on Nick’s Cincinnati chili. If I had one wish, it would be to put a little Habanero in there for flavor. Then it would be a perfect 10.

So, do your part to keep those pesky elephants out of the vegetable patch! Show your support for the makers of Elephant Pepper Products. Again, quoting from their website, their hope is “…that Elephant Pepper sauces will raise awareness about the production of high-quality chillies in Africa and build a strong export crop for the struggling economies of Southern Africa’s developing countries.”

***The following post, and this year’s batch of Steve’s Peppers is dedicated to my friend ROGER JONSSON, who passed away December 11, 2007, after a courageous battle with cancer. Roger was a remarkable man who left an indelible impression on everyone he met. In the spirit of the season, I invite fellow chileheads to post your words of comfort and condolence to the Jonsson family here.***

I started making my peppers about 5 years ago for friends at the holidays. When you first bottle them, they have such a festive look. They take relatively little time to make, are not expensive and are certainly one of the more unique gifts your friends will receive. Once you give a cruet of these peppers to a friend, they can continue to add peppers and vinegar on top of the old ones, literally forever. I have bottles of these peppers that I have kept going for over 12 years. They have a wonderful mellow flavor. Here is last year’s batch, one year later.

This is not really a pepper sauce, nor is it pickled peppers. Rather, it is a blend of vinegars infused with the flavors and heat of various peppers for the purpose of drizzling on certain foods – like Paella, onion rings, fried Okra, your favorite “Cue”, or a fried fish sandwich. I experimented with the ingredients in the off-season and came up with a recipe that has stood the test of time – 3 very simple ingredients:

1. Chiles (any combo of Jalapeno, Serrano, Habanero or Cherry Peppers)
2. Apple Cider Vinegar (1 part)
3. Rice Vinegar (4 parts)

The methodology is simple. But before starting, take the proper precautions:

1. Work in a well-ventilated room
2. Wear an apron
3. Wear a set of latex gloves while working, then wear a new set while cleaning up
4. Not a bad idea to wear protective glasses too (I learned this the hard way)

So, let’s get started with this year’s batch, which I have lovingly named “Roger’s Stash”. It has a double meaning. Roger had a strikingly bushy moustache that just seemed to go with his personality. And I’d like to think that if I gave one of these bottles of peppers to Roger, he would love it enough to want to stash it away.

Step 1 – Sterilize your bottles or cruets in the dishwasher

Step 2 – Set everything up in advance. If you forget something, you will be rummaging around the kitchen spreading the heat from the peppers where unsuspecting people will pick it up and start burning themselves. Here, I have all the ingredients within easy reach.

Step 3 – Cut the chiles – long ones lengthwise, stubby ones in half or quarters, depending on the size. For this batch, I have some nice dark green Serranos and 3 colors of Habaneros – small, firm green ones, small yellow ones and large, ripe red ones.

Step 4 – Stuff the sliced chiles in any combo into a cruet or bottle. I use the end of a wooden chopstick to get them through the narrow neck of the cruet. Do not pack the peppers in too tightly, but fill the whole bottle with them.

Step 5 – Pour in a mixture of vinegars that is one part (20%) Apple Cider Vinegar and four parts (80%) Rice Vinegar (not to be confused with Rice Wine Vinegar). This combo of vinegars makes for a perfect host for the heat and flavor of the peppers. It is both tangy and mellow at the same time. Most importantly, it doesn’t overpower the pepper, or your food.

Step 6 – Cap the cruet or bottle, hold it tightly and jiggle the bottle while rotating it in different directions to release the trapped air. Open the bottle, tamp down the peppers lightly, then top off the bottle with vinegar until you have less than a half-inch of air below the stopper. Here is the finished product.

To personalize these, make a festive label or card and tie some ribbon around them. It’s wise to bottle a half-dozen more of these than you anticipate needing. They make a great little gift to bring along to a holiday party.

Enjoy, and happy holidays to all! In memory of Roger, I leave you with this:

“To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Anne Campbell

THE SAUCE

That’s what it’s called – “The Sauce”. So, when this sauce arrived, I wondered…are the makers of this product trying to say that this is “The” Sauce to end all sauces, or are they just making it convenient for us to say “please pass The Sauce”?

As I pondered whether they are making a bold claim, I read the simple list of ingredients:

Ingredients: Tomatoes, Water, Vinegar, Habaneros, Garlic, Olive Oil, Salt, Black Pepper.

First Impressions: I love the color – it’s a beautiful pumpkin orange with tiny flecks of black pepper. The consistency is “soupy” – not too thick, not too thin. It would coat something well. It doesn’t separate much, though the olive oil makes an appearance around the edges when I pour it out on a plate. The following image is a bit blurry, but you get the idea.

When I opened the bottle and took a whiff, I caught a hint of Habanero, very little vinegar, mostly a pleasant tomatoey-garlicky smell.

Taste: I took a few swigs and got a very pleasant taste that was pretty much along the lines of what I smelled, plus a somewhat “rich” flavor that I attribute to the Olive Oil. None of the ingredients really jumps out at you – it’s just a pleasant, flavorful blend of well-matched ingredients. Salt level is just right – it’s there, but not dominant. The acid level is also discernable, but pretty tame. I think the subtle acidity comes more from the tomatoes than the vinegar, which is a pleasant departure from many of the sauces I have tasted lately. The Habanero flavor is, again, somewhat subtle, but in combination with the Olive Oil, what you get is a unique flavor I can only describe as “toasty Habanero”.

The more I get into this sauce, the more inviting I find it. After several swigs, I conclude that it would be perfect on some kind of fish. I choose Orange Roughy for its delicate, flaky consistency and wonderful mild flavor. I used to buy sole and haddock for the same flavor, but the more I cooked with those, the more I found that they go to mush very easily and also harbor tiny bones, especially the sole. Orange Roughy is caught all over the world, from the Gulf Stream waters off the Atlantic to Australasia. It is a reasonably priced fish (under $10 a pound) and it thaws well without any noticeable loss of quality or consistency.

The best way to cook your Roughy is to dredge it in flour that has a pinch of ground sea salt and black pepper, and then pan-fry it in olive oil. This gives the fish a beautiful golden crust and cooks it perfectly, while imparting the subtle flavor of the olive oil.

I couldn’t wait to try The Sauce on this beautiful piece of fish. I splashed a little on and took a bite. Absolute heaven. I then poured about half the bottle on the rest of the fish and just couldn’t get enough of the stuff – a perfect complement of flavors. Meanwhile, the heat was building.

Heat: It takes a lot of this stuff to produce a good burn, but after a half bottle of “The Sauce”, you are rewarded with the typical Hab effects – a sustained mouth burn, head sweat and runny nose. That said, I give this a 4 on the HSB heat scale of 10. You definitely want this sauce on your table to accommodate your guests who like a tasty sauce that burns steadily, but doesn’t attack.

Overall: I love the stuff, and at $4.00 per bottle, I would buy it by the case. That’s what you will need to do because this is one of those sauces you drench your food with. Enjoy it!

The Sauce
RedHorseBlueSky.com

Before I even open this sauce, it has 3 things going for it;

1. It’s from Maine – a great state (Lars and Generallee, what do you think? Could Maine kick the crap out of Florida in a likeability contest?)
2. Organic ingredients (95% organic)
3. If you look at the picture of Bandana Bill close up, he sort of looks like John Lennon

But how’s this stuff going to taste? I’m a little squeamish on Jalapeno-based sauces after my last experience.

Ingredients: Organic (org.) onions, org. bell peppers, org. jalapenos, water, org. Apple Cider Vinegar, org. sugar, org. garlic, org. black pepper, wasabi powder, sea salt, org. coriander, org. habanero.

I guess “walapeno” is the combination of wasabi and jalapeno, so I expect those to be the predominant flavors.

Initial Impression: As I hold the flask, I should mention again that I like the shape of this packaging, which is popular for many hot sauce makers, but it is prone to tipping over, which can cause a heartbreaking loss of good hot sauce.

Peering through the glass, I see that the consistency is almost “slurpee-like”. It’s thick with ground peppers, onion, garlic and I spy a fair amount of black pepper flecks. I shake it well and pop it open. Oh, man! I get a very nice nose full of cider vinegar, and then distinctive green pepper and black pepper smells all at once. I can’t wait for food – I gotta take a pull off this bottle right now.

It’s so thick, I have to shake it into my mouth. The very first thing I taste is an unexpected sweetness. Let me get back to that, because…Wham! Instant heat, pretty much confined to mid-mouth initially, but powerful! Several more swigs. Now, lips burning. Tongue numb. Roof of mouth under attack! Back of throat too! I’m sucking in air and enjoying a good shellacking from this combo of peppers. More on that when it wears off and I can take stock of what hit me.

Flavor: First, to address the sweetness, it’s the only element of this sauce that seems disjointed from the rest of the ingredients. I think the sugar could stand to be reduced (but not eliminated) until it fades into the background. I tasted this sauce with my daughter’s boyfriend, Ricky Passarelli, and he said the sweetness made the sauce taste uncharacteristically “fruity”. Instead of complementing the vinegar, the sugar just presents itself as a distraction, but believe me, that’s a very minor flaw. I’m loving the flavor of this stuff. Nevertheless, in order to address the odd sweetness, I recommend that you try pouring BANDANA BILL’S WALAPENO HOT SAUCE on savory foods that have some natural sweetness to them – that might be some fried sweet potato chips, any kind of sweet and sour dish, maybe that odd concoction – the ham and pineapple pizza, or how about fried sweet Plantains? That’s my choice!

After I opened this sauce, I ran to the local mercado in search of platanos, the large, thick-skinned beauties that are sort of half banana, half potato. The platanos maduros are the ones I was after. Their skin is almost completely black and they “give” when you squeeze them. In other words, they are the ripe ones (vs. the green ones). The key, as shown in the picture below, is to fry them to a golden brown to bring out the natural sweetness, then sprinkle a little sea salt over them. The salt of choice (shown in the picture) is Fleur de Sel, one of the highest grade gourmet salts available. The difference between this salt and table salt is striking. Invest in some.

The first of many things I want to applaud about this sauce is the use of Bell Peppers. Most hot sauce recipes eschew the green bell pepper. Why? It aint hot. Why take up space in the bottle with mild peppers when the hot peppers can help form the body of the sauce and give you heat all at once? I’ll tell you why it’s a great idea – because the addition of the green bell pepper keeps the sauce tasting as much like the pepper as a vegetable as it is the pepper as a heat source. Taste the WALAPENO HOT SAUCE and you will see what I mean.

The best feature of this sauce is that Bill (if there really is a Bill) has taken a bunch of ingredients common to many hot sauces and made them into a complex and dastardly combination designed to burn you in sneaky ways.

Heat: It’s hard to put this one on the scale. At it’s hottest, I guess it almost reaches a 7 on the HSB scale of 10, but it’s the combo of burns that gives this sauce my highest praise. As far as I’m concerned, the jalapeno actually takes a back seat to the most predominant flavor – the black pepper – enough black pepper that it’s like you just munched one of those spicy pappadams at an Indian restaurant. The wasabi joins the black pepper and jalapeno in numbing your palate. I wish there was just a bit more wasabi to get that burn reaching up the nose. But the best (or worst) is still to come. While you’re busy being tortured by the walapeno/ black pepper, the Habanero has marched into your mouth unnoticed, and is forming battle lines. Just as the first wave starts to subside, the second wave attacks. It’s a hot pepper tag team! I don’t get any Habanero flavor, but I sure feel its wrath. Sweat points confirm that the Habanero is there in sufficient quantity, even thought it is last on the list of ingredients. This leads me to suspect it is one of the more SHU-intensive varieties.

Taking another look at Bill, or whoever that guy is on the bottle, with his beard and bandana, using organic ingredients, putting a happy label on the bottle, calling it “medium”, I drew on some old stereotypes and kinda thought he was going to be a “pacifist” hot sauce maker. Fooled me good!!!

Bandana Bill’s Blazing
207 Butter’s Hill Rd
PO Box 58
Stoneham, ME 04231
866-493-4824
Fax: 866-841-3421

Here’s a two-fer review of a green and a red offering by the folks at Bodine Etc. Specialty Foods of Florida.

Before jumping into the review, I feel compelled to rebut the remarks of my Florida-hating friend, Lars. If you take his advice and detach Florida from the U.S. map, someone please tow it to Virginia and park it in my back yard. I love FL !!!

Now, let’s taste some sauce.

I like the packaging a lot on both of these bottles. They have a wavy pattern over a picture of a singer and a guitar player, presumably from a blues club somewhere in Memphis. The bottles themselves are the size and shape of a hip flask and my only criticism of that shape is that they are prone to tip very easily.

I took one look at these sauces and decided the tasting medium (other than swigging them straight from the bottles) would be a BBQ pork sandwich and some hush puppies.

First up was MEMPHIS MOJO HOWLIN’ JALAPENO HOT SAUCE

Ingredients: Jalapeño Peppers, water, onions, carrots, vinegar, salt, xanthan gum and natural spices.

First Impression: Looking at the Jalapeño sauce, I found it to be the characteristic color and texture, seeds and all. Then I opened the bottle and took a whiff. Not pleasant. It smelled like “wet grass”. You know when you mow the lawn and bag the grass clippings, and then they ferment in there for a few days? That’s the smell that hit me. I don’t know how else to describe it.

Taste: I taste a lot of wine and give several classes a year to help people discover the flavor characteristics of wines. I tell them not to be put off by the nose of a wine. It may not be at all suggestive of the flavors. Accordingly, I tend to be very forgiving of the nose if I am rewarded with great flavors. With this philosophy in mind, I had high hopes for the flavor of HOWLIN’ JALAPENO to make me forget what I just smelled. Not so.

The taste I got was the same as the smell – like wet grass. I tried a few more swigs, then put it on a hush puppy, then on my cue. Same smell and taste. The only positive was a pleasant oniony aftertaste which, frankly, came too late. For me, it was not an appetizing experience. It was then that I noticed the sticker affixed to the bottle saying “Winner 2007 Fiery Food Challenge”…which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that taste is a very personal and subjective thing. After reading the sticker, I ate a bunch more and I just couldn’t like this sauce. I’ve eaten many a green sauce too. This was disappointing.

Heat: Surprisingly, this sauce was on the hot side of the Jalapeño sauces I have tasted – a 5+ on the HSB scale, producing a nice shvitz on the sides of the nose.

With trepidation, I began my examination of MEMPHIS MOJO SMOKIN’ HEAT HOT SAUCE.
Let me just get to the punchline. This is one of the most honest, un-messed-with, and delicious presentations of the Habanero in a sauce that I have ever tasted. Among hot sauces containing the Habanero pepper, this is a 10+ on a scale of 10. I’m not just saying this because I just trashed the green sauce. To taste SMOKIN’ HEAT is, in effect, to “be the Habanero”.

Ingredients: Vinegar, smoked Habanero peppers, tomatoes, garlic, salt, xanthan gum and natural spices.

First Impression: My visual examination revealed a beautiful smoky-red sauce with seeds and flecks of black pepper suspended in the ground Habaneros and tomatoes. Pouring it out on the plate, I noticed that it was slightly thinner than the green sauce. It’s a perfect consistency for pouring all over your cue, which I was eager to do.

First, I took a whiff, and was rewarded with a beautifully-balanced nose of Habanero, smoke, vinegar and garlic. But the distinctive smell of fresh Habaneros was predominant. I was hopeful. I took a swig.

Taste: On first taste, I felt I was being taken on a detour from Memphis to the Carolinas because the vinegar hits your tongue first. That’s OK because you also get nice flavors of Tomato and garlic, before your mouth gets numbed by the peppers. Once the heat blast starts to subside, then comes the wonderful flavor of the smoked Habaneros.

Two things are not present in this sauce, but are not missed – salt and sweet. The sauce is noticeably un-salty, which again, lays bare the fresh Habanero flavor that makes this a textbook sauce. That said, I tend to like a little sweetness in my sauce, so I would not hesitate to lay down a bit of my favorite mild, sweet sauce, then splash SMOKIN’ HEAT over that. The Habanero flavor in this sauce is so true, it will shine through anything you might combine with it. Again, all by itself, it is a thing of beauty.

Heat: I give this sauce a 7.5+ on the HSB heat scale. It exhibits all the characteristic methods of punishment that the Habanero was put on this earth to dole out; first, an attack on the entire mouth area – lips, tongue, every nook and cranny of the mouth feels it. It’s a sustained burn, lasting 10 minutes or more. Sweat points come alive in a few minutes following your first bite, most notably the eye sockets and back of the skull, followed by a runny nose.

In addition, this sauce delivers the insidious Trojan Horse found in all good Habanero sauces – the oils from the pepper collect in your unsuspecting mouth waiting for the right conditions to attack. When you splash Habanero sauce on your cue sandwich, it is pretty much at room temp by the time you bite into it. Once it’s in your mouth, it’s doing its work, but if you then take a bite of something very hot (temperature-wise), like the piping hot BBQ beans I was eating, the oils are released and the sensation is not unlike when you burn your hand on a hot pan, then reach into a hot oven or wash it with hot water. Same effect. Yeeeouch!!!

So ends the tale of two sauces. The green one, despite its “cred”, did not earn my adulation. Then, as if to punish me for picking on his brother, the red one (evil twin) put the hurt on me with his Habanero hammer.

Bodine Etc. Specialty Foods LLC
22151 US-19 North
Clearwater, Fl 33765 USA
Voice. 727-791-9339 or 1-800-796-9339
Fax. 727-791-6019

GOYA SALSITA with ANCHO
CHILES
It’s nostalgic for me to be reviewing a GOYA product. What lover of ethnic foods does not know the name? Go to any “Americano” supermarket, where they crowd all of the international foods into one tiny section of one aisle, and you will see the name GOYA on dozens of products. Let me tell you; don’t be fooled into thinking that a brand that is labeled and priced to appeal to the masses is in any way inferior. Too often, we make that assumption while shopping and pass by something good.

Attending hotel school and living in Miami in the late 70’s, I was fresh out of Culinary Arts School, and eager to master the world’s cuisines. Miami, as the gateway to South America, and having a thriving Cuban-American community, was a perfect training ground. On the road to discovering Spanish and Latin-American cuisines, I relied on GOYA products to be my training wheels.

I remember the first time I walked into the mercado at the end of our street (SW 78^th Ct. at Bird Rd.). The sights, smells and colorful language transported me to an exciting new world – a world where I couldn’t read the food labels because I didn’t speak Spanish! So the GOYA products, with their colorful “Americano-friendly” labels naturally ended up in my basket.

Many GOYA products are staples for the table. In a culinary “tool kit”, they might be considered the wrench or the saw. They serve a particular purpose with reliability and consistency. So, when I saw the word picante on the label of the GOYA SALSITA, CHILE ANCHO, I knew how I was going to use it. I use picante sauces as “cutting tools” for rich, fatty foods, much like the acids and tannins in a good red wine balance out a well-marbled Prime steak. Hold that thought while you look at what I “cut” with the SALSITA, and learn how it was made…

On a recent evening, two Margaritas deep, I opened the refrigerator to scout for possibilities for dinner. It was pretty sparse. I spied some leftover steamed zucchini, a tomato, and 4 lonesome-looking poblano chiles in the vegetable drawer. Oh, also a 2-day old hunk of grilled flank steak and a few assorted cheeses. That was it. But those, and some stand-by’s in the pantry, were all I needed to construct an awesome meal. I sprung into action!

First I took those beautiful, shiny, dark green Poblanos outside and laid them on the gas grill to char. Meanwhile, I took 4 potatoes roughly the size of the chiles. They were firm and yellow, going by the name “Butter Potatoes”. I peeled and quartered the potatoes, then sliced a medium white onion thickly and set the spuds and onion slices in a steamer basket in a covered saucepan. While they were steaming, I sprayed the inside of a glass casserole dish with olive oil, then put a light layer of canned green enchilada sauce on the bottom of the casserole, then the zucchini slices on top.

After a couple of turns, I took the Poblanos off the grill and sealed them tightly in a paper lunch bag for 10 minutes, then carefully removed the charred skin, leaving the stem intact. I inserted my finger in the tip of each chile (opposite end from the stem) and opened it up in preparation for stuffing, removing the bitter seeds.

Once al-dente, I removed the spuds and onions to a heat-proof bowl and mashed them coarsely. I added finely ground black pepper, ground sea salt, a splash of heavy cream and a big handful of shredded cheese – my choice was cheddar and Monterey Jack. The consistency was like thick, creamy, lumpy, cheesy mashed potatoes. With a spoon, I carefully stuffed this mixture into each chile, and then wrapped the open chile around the mixture to re-form it into its original shape.

I pre-heated the oven to 375 and got an inch of frying oil going in a skillet in preparation for frying. I beat an egg together with a few tbsp of flour, a few shakes of salt and a teaspoon of water, adjusting the mix with additional flour or liquid until it was the consistency of thin pancake batter – just thick enough to coat the chiles. I rolled each chile in the batter to coat it, and then dropped it in the hot oil to fry; having tested a few drops of batter first to be sure the oil was the right temp. Turned once, and fried to a golden brown, I removed them to drain on anther paper lunch bag.

Now, I arranged the fried Poblanos on top of the zucchini slices, spooned additional green enchilada sauce over them, and then covered the whole mess with lots more grated cheese. Into the oven for a half hour or so!

I started to clean up and got another idea! There was about a half cup of leftover potato stuffing and an equal amount of the batter. Instead of throwing them out, I mixed them together, added a half teaspoon of baking powder, fired up the oil again and…made potato fritters! As these came out of the pan, I drained them on paper and dusted them with pimenton. Marvelous!

Last step, to spoil what was so far a veggie delight with a nice helping of meat, I sliced up the flank steak, sliced a medium onion and the tomato. I poured the frying oil out of the skillet, wiped it out, put in a bit of fresh olive oil and got it very hot. I threw in the steak, onions and tomatoes and cooked them fajita-style on high heat, seasoning them with a few turns from a grinder containing Caribbean spices and sea salt, then finishing with a little lump of butter in the pan. Finito!

I put a stuffed poblano, a few of the potato fritters and a helping of the fajita on my plate and here is the finished product with the SALSITA on deck!

Despite having two types of green chiles, this is a fairly rich dish, with starchy potatoes, cream and lots of cheese. So I go to the tool box and look for that picante sauce to balance the richness. The GOYA SALSITA with ANCHO CHILES does the trick.

Ingredients: Water, salt, Ancho pepper, Arbol pepper, acetic acid, citric acid, xanthan gum, onion, garlic, oregano, cumin, caramel color, sodium benzoate, cinnamon.

First Impressions: This SALSITA is a beautiful chocolate brown. How much of the color is manipulated through the addition of caramel, I don’t know, but it looks very appetizing. The initial smell is hard to peg. I hate to be vague, but it smells “piquante”, whatever that it.

Taste: The initial taste is…well…piquante!..OK, acidic!…and pleasantly salty. I can taste the garlic, but can’t distinguish the other spices mentioned in the ingredients. The sauce has some mouth feel – you can actually detect the grit of the ground chiles. Bottom line, you know when you taste this that it belongs on something like my stuffed poblanos, or a cheesy quesadilla, a rib-eye steak or your mom’s mac & cheese! And how about several dashes in your Bloody Mary! I’m trying that next!

Heat: This sauce is relatively mild (I give it a 4 on the HSB Heat Scale), but you will feel it if you use a lot of it. I have been swigging generous amounts of the sauce while writing this piece and can report the following: mouth burn – confined to mid-mouth, behind the lips and mid-tongue – a pleasant, low burn. The affected sweat points – small to medium quantities of this sauce produce perspiration confined to the sides of the nose/ under the eyes. Larger quantities cause the perspiration to spread to eyebrows, followed by a very pleasant, slow release of endorphins, causing a feeling of warmth in the face and upper body.

All-in-all, I am a fan of this sauce and give it an overall rating of 8, considering that it is basic, honest and it knows its purpose in life. There are hot sauces to be collected and displayed like trophies. There are hot sauces to be acquired and kept in your pantry for occasional use. Then, there are hot sauces that belong on the table, like this picante SALSITA by GOYA. Enjoy!

Goya Foods, Inc.
100 Seaview Drive
Secaucus, NJ 07096
Tel: 201-348-4900
Fax: 201-348-6609