Dear Chilipal,

Another Summer is quickly coming to end on the Jersey Shore. With Fall near, change is comin’. And not only in the air and trees. The Sauce Man has some change comin’ as well. Yep, Since 1989 I have really only changed my labels once. That year was 1995, when I removed the eye from the label and put my skeleton in place of it. I have stared at my labels more than anyone on the planet. I have never viewed my labels as just a marketing tool, to me they are simply an extension of myself. My focus is always The Sauce, The Sauce, The Sauce. A label, to me, is a face. It’s who you are. As people, of course, we change with time. I am more passionate, a bit older, more seasoned, and now, a little better dressed for the party. As those of you who know me well read this, I am sure you know my total clothing wardrobe is worth less than one of my reserves. Those things just don’t matter to me. What I mean to say, is that I am happy in a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and my crocs. As far as my sauce, well, that’s another story. Over the last twenty years, Death Sauce has spread to homes around the Globe. Over the last two decades I have come to understand that many people do not know my story, my mission, or my chilihead life.

To quote Dylan, “Times They Are A-Changin”. I am here and I will not stop what I am doing until I have shown as many people from around the Globe how to “FEEL ALIVE!” Even after my own Death, The Sauce will live on, For that is the true beauty of Death Sauce. You are Always Guaranteed to Feel Alive!

Why do you think we are spreading so strongly? It is because of You!!! There is No Bullshit here, I am too busy for that. If you want to be spoon fed and have your hand held, go somewhere else. If you want the truth and want to know who you are, then climb aboard my Death Train and Feel Alive!

Your chilipal,
Blair

Say hello and tell me about you. Email me direct at blair@extremefood.com

PS. The Brand New First Edition Death Sauce Collector Boxes (these First Edition Boxes will be around for a short time and sold at the same price as our existing sauce line prices). The Zakk Wylde Berserker Line will be available on September 30th 2008. Also, look for a Brand New Extremefood.com to launch in November 2008.

PPS. FYI We have very limited quantities of the existing Death Sauce line available and when they’re gone, they’re gone Forever. Please note we are currently out of stock on several sauces which will not return until the debut on September 30, 2008.

See Ya!

When I was first asked by the Three Hot Tamales to review their Cry Baby Hot Sauce, I was a little hesitant. They have been trying to get this review out of me for months, and I’ll admit, I was concerned that I might not be able to write a good enough review. After all, I do not profess to be a hot sauce expert or connoisseur. In fact, I hardly ever use hot sauce with my food (much to the disappointment of my hot sauce fanatic hubby). And the only review I have ever written was for the THT Garlic Lover’s Steak Sauce. That was easy to write- the sauce was damn good and I had a lot to say about it. So now, just in time for Zestfest 2006, I am offering my humble opinion for the second time as I review Cry Baby.

Ingredients: Roasted red bell peppers, apple cider vinegar, habanero mash (habanero peppers, vinegar, salt, water), jalapeno mash (jalapeno peppers, vinegar, salt, water), sugar, kosher salt

What I love most about Cry Baby Hot Sauce is the unique flavor. Initially the sauce has a wonderful sweetness, yet there is also a nice, slow heat that follows. It is obvious that the sauce has the freshest ingredients, and I truly enjoyed the natural flavors of the roasted red bell peppers and the habaneros. Since I am not one for extremely spicy sauces, I appreciated the contrast between the heat and the sweetness of the sauce. The red bell peppers are the backbone, yet the habanero and jalapeno mash add just the right amount of heat so that the sauce is not too sweet.

I tried the sauce with a variety of entrees, but I fell in love with sprinkling it on my pizza. I know of many HSBers who faithfully use Cry Baby with their pizza, and so when it came time to taste-test, I made sure to try this distinctive dish. Again, I am not known for my liberal application of hot sauce to food items, but I thoroughly enjoyed my pepperoni pizza with a nice coating of Cry Baby. The sauce was also excellent with chicken and rice.

I know many hot sauce lovers enjoy fire-level heat from their hot sauces, but I also know that chileheads appreciate a fresh-tasting, flavorful sauce. Cry Baby doesn’t have extreme heat, but what it lacks in heat it makes up for in flavor. This is one of those sauces that you love for its freshness and taste. It is tangy and smooth, and you can’t help but savor the roasted pepper flavor. (2-3 on the HSB heat scale)

I may be new at this hot sauce review thing, but I know quality when I taste it, and I know I am not the only one (the sauce boasts an award from the 2006 Scovies). And I think it is only a matter of time before the world is introduced with a new type of food item: Cry Baby pizza! YUM!

There is really only one word to describe the Three Hot Tamales Garlic Lovers Steak Sauce: YUM! Now I am not much of a fan of steak sauce. In fact, I normally prefer my steak and burgers sans sauce. I’ll occasionally opt for a burger with bbq sauce or even a little ketchup (yes, I am a little boring and unadventurous when it comes to my food). But I have never enjoyed the taste of steak sauce, and I have never had the urge to coat my burger or steak with A1. The fact that I literally doused my burger with Garlic Lovers Steak Sauce speaks for itself.

Due to some camera malfunctions, I had the opportunity to taste-test this sauce three times. The first time, I dabbled a couple of small drops on my burger and gingerly took a bite. I could tell immediately that I wanted more. Before I knew it, my burger was covered in sauce. Even after the meat was gone, I just had to use the leftover bread to sop up the rest of the sauce on my plate. The second time I tried the sauce, I had it with a nice juicy steak. I dipped each piece of meat into the sauce before I took a bite. When I tried the sauce for the third time, I again had a plain burger in front of me, and it just felt naked without my Garlic Lovers Steak Sauce.

The key that makes this sauce so tasty is right in the name. It has a wonderful garlic flavor and the combination of spices contribute to give it a nice tangy finish. It is not spicy, but it is not at all bland. For those who are like me and appreciate flavor without major heat, you will love this sauce. It has the thick consistency of a high quality steak sauce, so you can use it to coat your burgers or marinate your steaks. The sauce might not be as tasty on other types of food, but frankly I would buy bottles of this stuff just to use on my burgers. I have said goodbye to bbq sauce and ketchup. From now on, the only thing that accompanies my burger is Garlic Lovers Steak Sauce.

From the desk of the wife…

Once a year I look forward to the same television tradition that captivates the attention of every hot-blooded, beer-guzzling male across the country - the Superbowl. I love football, I love beer and I love the Superbowl. And like any football fanatic, I look forward to the traditional food fixings that accompany the day-long Sunday celebration. I have tuned in every Sunday since the preseason and have eaten well, but Superbowl Sunday demands first-rate cuisine. And by cuisine, I mean WINGS. Being the wife of a hot sauce/wing sauce fanatic has finally paid off. Ladies, now it’s time to sit back and let the husbands enter the kitchen. Why deny the men the pleasure of making the best-tasting hot wings at the Superbowl party?

I am particularly fortunate to not only be the wife of a hot sauce fanatic, but the wife of a hot sauce distributor. I have constantly had to put up with box after box of hot sauce, wing sauce, bbq sauce, etc. Now that I have paid my dues, I demand swift wing-cooking action!

Step 1: Find the perfect wing sauces. I browsed the site, walked the aisles of inventory and tore open boxes until I found wing sauces that would suit my needs. I came across some fabulous selections, such as Anchor Bar Original, Anchor Bar Honey BBQ, Defcon Condition 2 Wing Sauce, and Wing Time Garlic. I grabbed a few bottles of wing sauce that had been sent as samples (and have yet to be tasted) and once I had my assortment, I lined them up on the kitchen counter. They are resting there until Sunday morning where they will be ready for my hubby to begin his work. Hey, I spent a lot of time sifting through boxes and shelves to get the wing sauce ready, so you could say I did half of the work. Besides, even if I offered to cook the wings, he would refuse to let me. This is one thing that he likes to do himself (he probably fears I won’t make the perfect wings on this Holiest of Days), and Lord knows I don’t want to step on any toes . . .

Step 2: Sit back and relax while he cooks the wings. It sounds like a rough life, I know, but like I said, I paid my dues in other ways . . .

Step 3: Call out to him while he is cooking. “Honey, you should see these pregame activities!” “Babe, can you bring us some more beer from the kitchen!” “Darling, you aren’t missing much, just some famous people on TV.” “Honeypie, how are those wings coming” It is good to let him know what’s going on and to keep encouraging him. Sitting in the living room with the rest of the crowd without saying a word to him is just mean!

Step 4: EAT! I don’t know what I am looking forward to more- wings or the Superbowl. Luckily, I don’t have to choose.

For all those ladies out there that are like me and love football with all the trimmings - I wish you a wonderful Superbowl and hope you get your share of wings, whether you are ordering them from a restaurant, cooking them yourself or enjoying ones made for you. Remember - Superbowl Sunday is our day too, so enjoy!

Go Pittsburgh!

What is too hot??? When you can’t taste the flavor of your food? When you can’t tell what type of food you are eating? When all you know is that your mouth is on fire, your tongue is burning and you can’t wait to grab that glass of milk? Where do we draw the line?

For some of us, the phrase “too hot” begins when we can no longer tell what we are eating. All we know is that our foreheads are dripping with sweat and our tongue is numb. Do we remember what we have eaten? A piece of chicken, a juicy portion of meat, or a spoonful of chili? It doesn’t matter- whatever we have consumed is too hot. The burning sensation has gradually evolved- overcoming our senses and interfering with rational thought. We don’t care what we have eaten - we simply don’t want to take another bite.

For others, the idea that our food is too hot does not begin until the portion is almost finished. Our mouths are slowly beginning to reject the last few bites of food as our bodies are seemingly catching on fire. Each bite adds to the intense inferno building within our bellies, yet we remain determined to consume our meal, however incendiary it might be. To give up when we are so close to the finish line is ludicrous, and we are left with a certain competitive streak- the meal may have been too hot, but we have come this far and by God we are going to finish it!

And for those select few who consider incendiary eating a hobby and an art, nothing can ever be too hot. These brave souls will never admit that anything is too hot. Each fiery meal is a flavorful banquet; each spicy dish is a savory treat. A meal prepared from the fiery flames of Hell would elicit only a raised eyebrow or slight nod from these fanatical chileheads. These die-hard aficionados search the world for the spiciest dish, the portion of food that is too hot to handle. They are contestants in an unrivaled game of strength - to back away from a meal that is too hot is a symbol of defeat. After all those claims of bravado- Nothing can ever be too hot!- and after all those preliminary years of preparation consuming mild flavored dishes, these lunatics would rather catch on fire than declare their meal too hot.

Most of the normal population has a heat level that can be reached without any hot sauce or pepper extract addition. I, for one, cry uncle when I am forced to eat a restaurant dish labeled hot or spicy. For me, I draw the line when I can no longer tell what I am eating and when the sweat begins to drip into my expensive meal. But these chileheads demand respect. Whether they are consuming their meal to piss me off (as my beloved husband usually does), to prove a point, or to reinforce their status as a chilehead, these lunatics will never back down and never accept defeat. Expect to see them burst into flames before admitting that their meal is too hot.

This comes from the desk of the wife:

Just like any addiction, a hot sauce addiction is a very serious matter. If the addict doesn’t get his fix he can make life unpleasant for those around him. And the addiction is not so much a love as it is an obsession. For five years now I have lived with an extreme hot sauce addict. He clutters the house with hot sauce bottles and gets offended when I suggest he has too many. And he can become downright hostile if his hot sauce collection is tampered with. I swear, if he weren’t my husband, I would have been out the door a while ago.

Of course, the addict doesn’t necessarily think he has a problem. Denial is a complimentary defense mechanism that addicts incorporate into their lives. I’ve lost count of how many times I have reminded my husband that he has an addiction- not a “passion.” When hot sauce bottles are enshrined in fire-proof, shatter-proof shiny glass display cases, you know you are living with a fanatic.

Ordinary activities become more precarious when you share your home with an addict. Opening the refrigerator now requires some dexterity since there are hundreds of bottles balanced on the shelves and jammed in the condiment section on the back of the door. And “normal” condiments have been replaced with insanely spicy versions- atomic mustards, peppery ketchup, and fiery salsas. I can’t have an ordinary hamburger with Hunts Ketchup and French’s Yellow Mustard- I have the sole options of Ketchfire Ketchup and Mad Anthony’s Fiery Hot Mustard.

As if it weren’t bad enough that hot sauce has taken over the kitchen and refrigerator, we now have replaced decorative art with the hot sauce bottle. Of course, an addict will argue that hot sauce IS decorative art, and he will find nothing wrong with the bottles perched on the dressers, bookshelves and windowsills. Even the nightstand has a tiny bottle on top, right next to the alarm clock.

The walls are adorned with posters of hot sauce bottles and chile peppers. If Van Gogh had painted a picture of a hot sauce bottle it would hang above our couch.
But the most embarrassing part of living with a hot sauce addict is the “hot-sauce-in-the-pocket” ritual. If eating food is involved, the addict will always have a bottle in his pocket. I am embarrassed to go to restaurants, and not just because my hubby is a sloppy eater. It just doesn’t say “sexy” when he pulls out two bottles, one from each pocket, and places them on the table at a fancy restaurant. When he discovered plastic mini bottles of sauce, he nearly fainted - until he realized he would have to pocket 5 of them in order to have enough sauce for his meal.
Being forced to eat fiery foods drenched with hot sauce is not wonderful, either. Sometimes I like the flavor of my food- as is! I don’t always need to pour chipotle-flavored sauce over my lemon chicken. And I have given up on cooking for my husband. Nothing is hot enough or tasty enough. I could make a divine meal flavored to perfection and it has an unwanted hot sauce coating before we even take a bite.

One good thing about living with a hot sauce addict is that it makes gift shopping a lot easier. The only thing you worry about is deciding which hot sauce to buy for him.

He drives me crazy, but his addiction makes him who he is. I never asked for my life (and my house) to be overrun by hot sauce, but I am glad it has added a little flavor to my life. I know he won’t change- there’s no Hot Sauce Anonymous Club (and if there were, I’m sure hot sauce would be celebrated, not outlawed). And there is no cure- no pill could alleviate his need for flavor. I will continue to tolerate his addiction. And he’ll continue to reach for the bottle.

~ The Wife of a Hot Sauce Addict