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Here’s how this works: Take a look at the photo above and come up with a caption. Leave your caption as a comment. The top 5 will be picked out by Nick & those 5 will be voted on by the HSB readers.
Prize: The Defcon Zero Batch #2 (#248) that I won from eating all those damn wings. The things I do for the HSB…
Entry Due Date: EOD 04/07/06
Rules: Keep it fairly clean (remember, the wife will be reading these)
Chilehead Comments:
Posted by: Nick Lindauer - Categories: Uncategorized
Permalink: Caption This #2
One year ago: Manhattan Chili Co.
- Related Posts:
- Caption Contest #1 - Final Five
- Caption This - #7
- Caption This Contest #4
- Caption This Contest #3
- Caption Contest #5
675 Comments
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 7:30 am said:
Nick - you seemed a whole lot smarter than this
Good Luck!
(BTW - still have the sauce on my fingers. My eyes were burning putting in my contacts this morning!)
Guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.
I threw out my contacts (disposables) and just went for a new pair, no reason burning my eyes out
Hmmmm, that gives me a GREAT idea. Defcon Safety Eyewear! What a concept.
Man, a caption this with someone else as the target, and we have to keep it somewhat clean. Well, I guess my caption wouldn’t be allowed…It had something to do with proctologists and thumb-sucking, but you see, I’m not going to go there.
Caption this,
“Humm dee dumm. Lets see hmm yeah thats it, hold it right there.
God I love finger painting after smoking a joint.”
Little Nick Lindauer
Sat with a scowl
Eating his wings, and hey!
He put in his finger,
pulled out a zinger and said,
Yowsa! Oy vey.
(Dayumm!!! Those wings just didnt want to come out!!!! And hey, they look the same as they went in.)
Caption this,
Hold still, and believe me when I say…
This is going to hurt YOU a lot more than me!
So this is how it all started. Who knew that when my mom put tabasco on my thumb to keep me from sucking it this would happen.
It’s a boy!
You should see the other guy!
Don’t touch that - you KNOW where its been!
You think I look bad, you should see the guys I shared the train home with!
I love the smell of capsaicin in the morning!
It’s only a flesh wound!
I cant stop!!!!! AAAAAAA!!! I cant stop!!!!!
Ahhhh, I’m loving this. Keep ‘em comin’!!!
What??? More??? Oh yea Baby, Bring em on!!!
If you think this looks bad, you should see the other end!
Just be glad that this picture isn’t scratch and sniff!
I bleed capsaicin!!!
Caption:
“Defcon wings are people!…THEY’RE PEOPLE!!”
For all you Charlton Hestin fans 
“No Stems, No Seeds, That You Don’t Need”——–
“Defcon Zero Batch #2 is Bad Ass ….. ! ——–
Nick, I would just like to say that you are a genious for posting this on a weekday this time around. Most of us will be at work and too tired to come up with stupid sick stuff like some of us did (me) last time
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 11:19 am said:
Nick, I would just like to say that you are a genious for posting this on a weekday this time around. Most of us will be at work and too tired to come up with stupid sick stuff like some of us did (me) last time
Well you do have all week…
Way to go boy !!! that is a good one should we show mommy…. sniff…what smells in here
” I took my own temerature and im HOT!!! “
Nick Lindauer on 4/3/2006 at 11:28 am said:
Well you do have all week…
I’m too mentally exhausted during the week
Caption-Front page Daily News
SERIAL KILLER FOUND
Last time I went to bed sucking my thumb it didn’t taste nearly this good!! WOOOHOOOOOOO
“I’m hitchhiking for a ride to the Cajun Hot Sauce Festival!”
The first time in his life, this man is attracted to his thumb. You can tell from the look in his eyes, that it is now (finger food). We all can only hope that he never finds the sauce on his cheek.
“Son of Jeffrey Dahmer”
loco luna brian on 4/3/2006 at 2:44 pm said:
“Son of Jeffrey Dahmer”
Haaaa!!! How about——- “Jeffrey Dahmer”
Letting everyone know you dove into a vat of Defcon Sauce and lived to tell about it… Priceless!!!!!!!! Somethings hot sauce is used for… For everything else there is Defcon Sauce!
Nick says, “AAAAAAAAYYYYY” to DeFcon wings.
Cheffy on 4/3/2006 at 3:22 pm said:
Nick says, “AAAAAAAAYYYYY” to DeFcon wings.
Nick Fonzerelli says, “AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY”, to DeFcon Wings.
Caption:
“What do you mean you’ve met someone else? I gave you the best few minutes of my life”
Caption:
“Resistance is futile…”
OK Borrowing from the Nick Fonzerelli
“SIT ON IT”
For all you Happy Days Fans
Put simply:
“RRRROOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!”
Caption:
“Kneel before Zod” - from Superman
Does this taste funny to you?
“ONLY ONE MORE WINGS TO GO - AND IT’S A BIGGIE”
Alas, poor Heracio (the chicken), I knew him well
“This is how we treat terrorists!”
or
“Things we’d like to see done in Gitmo”
“Would you mind blowing on this?”
“MILF”
Sometimes I don’t know my own strength
Ouuuuccccccccchhhhhhhh!!!!! I swear I thought it was a wing….
OOOOHHHHH THERE IS MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Thumb taste good”
“Lucky for you this picture is only from the waist up”
The Passion of the Nick…eat your heart our Mel Gibson
OUT, not our
ryan on 4/3/2006 at 5:43 pm said:The Passion of the Nick…eat your heart our Mel Gibson
“Nick was made an offer he couldn’t refuse”
“EAT ME”
Me? You talkin’ to me? You don’t know where this thumb’s been.
Caption:
“Sticking your thumb in inappropriate places never tasted so good.”
Contest judge speaking to Nick: “Nick, you’ve licked four out of five. Just one more without shedding a tear and you’ll be our new Zero Hero.”
WHOA! it looks just like JIM!
So here’s what you’ve gotta ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well? do ya punk?
“As the butcher goes in for the final death blow to the chicken, the Emperor gives the thumbs up to let the chicken live.”
Two words: “thumb screws”
Got Thumb?
“tastes like chicken”
Defcon Wing Sauce..Finger lickin’ good!
Thumbs NEVER Lie!!
Monkey see…Monkey Doo!!
Thumb your nose at me, will ya?
Hey how was I to know poking myself in the eye would hurt this much! It never seems to hurt when Bugs Bunny does it to his friends.
“How YOU do’n?” - Joey from Friends
caption:
“I’m BLIND - I can’t see my finger”
Do I want them hotter? Your Damn Right I Do!!!
huvason tried to eat my thumb!
Beats a sharp stick in the eye, eh? I doubt it.
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 7:08 pm said:
huvason tried to eat my thumb!
LOL - NOW THAT’S the WINNER
Caption:
“That last batch was a batch of ZERO”
Caption:
No I’m serious- it was stuck, I swear it wouldn’t come out. I doused it with beer- no dice, slabbed it with butter- nope, then this guy in a respirator runs up and pours this little bottle of some friggen’ hot stuff on it and pop! Dude it was nuts!
Wow! I’m not blind. Look at the head on that one!
i hope this is not too bad
caption
“the aftermath of the Homunculus’s first prostate exam”
eman on 4/3/2006 at 7:48 pm said:
i hope this is not too bad
caption
“the aftermath of the Homunculus’s first prostate exam”
It may be bad, but it’s funny
Caption:
If someone don’t buy me a beer right now- I’ll pop a Defcon Zero thumb in yo azz!
Caption This:
Damn, my ass is going to be hurting tomorrow!
Nick Lindauer
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said,
That wasn’t no *%$# Plum!
eman on 4/3/2006 at 7:48 pm said:
i hope this is not too bad
caption
“the aftermath of the Homunculus’s first prostate exam”
Aaaaaah eman, you had to mention the Homunculus
better watch out cause you’ve done it now 
“I coulda been a contender.”
eman on 4/3/2006 at 7:48 pm said:
i hope this is not too bad
caption
“the aftermath of the Homunculus’s first prostate exam”
And so it begins LOL
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his thumb with some Defcon 1 and a nice chianti.” - Hannibal Lindauer
chris k on 4/3/2006 at 8:14 pm said:
Aaaaaah eman, you had to mention the Homunculus
better watch out cause you’ve done it now
(((Lurking)))
DK on 4/3/2006 at 8:27 pm said:
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his thumb with some Defcon 1 and a nice chianti.” - Hannibal Lindauer
Nice:)
Stay tuned for another gut spewing episode of, “As The Thumb Burns”…
NOW PLAYING on Pay Per View TV, at a local Notel Motel near You…Nick Lindauer..Starring in….. ZOMBIE THUMB From Hell!!
” Its just like warm apple pie. “
Pssssssst! hey Nick!…it’s me…your thumb…guess where I’ve been…
Nick showed up
to spread the word
and entered a contest
that was totally absurd
see the wings weren’t hot
they were laced with fire
this would make the winner
a true hot sauce crier
round one went down
not sure how many lasted
their esophagus’s burned
like they had been heat blasted
round two and three
and out they dropped
until it was huvason and Nick
they thought it had stopped
but it seems the one
that sinister guy
had one more trick
to further their cry
now to round four
to eat more wings
if you want to be champion
you must do these things
Nick knew he had
to do this once more
cause if he didn’t
there was a ragging in store
so down they went
and all hailed the chief
then up came some
to provide relief
so now you see
a beat up guy
who for some reason
enjoys to cry
just look at that pain
you see in his eyes
that’s what it takes
to win top prize
Hey Chris..do you work for Hallmark??
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 9:03 pm said:
Hey Chris..do you work for Hallmark??
LOL - I was thinking the same thing. Chris, you got talent!
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 9:05 pm said:
LOL - I was thinking the same thing. Chris, you got talent!
Yeah you do- good stuff man
“It’s burning, it’s burning……what a world, what a world”
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 9:03 pm said:
Hey Chris..do you work for Hallmark??
Not yet, I was going to sign with the UHS card company though
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 9:03 pm said:
Hey Chris..do you work for Hallmark??
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 9:05 pm said:
LOL - I was thinking the same thing. Chris, you got talent!
Vic on 4/3/2006 at 9:07 pm said:
Yeah you do- good stuff man
You guys are really just to nice,
god, I have got to get my ears cleaned !
“After another round of HSB updates, Nicks calls it a night.”
Talk about working your fingers to the bone! Nick works his right down to the wing bone!
The thumb, the thumb, the thumb is on Firrrre
No more wings? this will have to do…
Thumb…tastes great, less filling
Thumb, the other white meat
Thumb, its what’s for dinner
spencer on 4/3/2006 at 9:23 pm said:
god, I have got to get my ears cleaned !
LOL ewww gross!!!!
Nick’s powers of telekinesis backfired when he moved his thumb straight into the wing sauce
This is what I get for thumb wrestling someone with ebola
Never underestimate the power of the Thumb, young Jedi Nick…
Nick caught practicing reprimanding naughty HSB’ers
Its a good thing they can’t se my OTHER hand…
Nick takes the phrase “Working your fingers to the bone” to the extreme
DAAAAUUUUMMM…that was one HELL of a zit!
Caption:
“AHHHHH It’s coming through my skin!”
Caption:
I bleed wing sauce
Rooooosebuuuud….
DUDE! who sneezed?!
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 9:38 pm said:
DAAAAUUUUMMM…that was one HELL of a zit!
You are one sick dude!!
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 9:42 pm said:
You are one sick dude!!
try sitting across the room listening to his sinister laugh
Caption:
I swear officer, I didn’t touch the crime scene
Caption:
Defcon Sauce: Chicken Wing Tested, Nick Approved
Nick’s attempt at becoming the human torch
“What do you mean you caught me red handed?”
Oh you can tell by the way I use my thumb I’m a hot wing man, no time to talk…
Oh no you DI-N’T!
I’m MELting I’m meLTing what a world what a worl
“Aloha Mr. Hand” - Fast Times at Ridgemnot High
I’ve had just about enough lip…I’m mean thumb, out of you
sorry for the typos everybody!
You know what they say about guys with big thumbs…
Mother warned me about thumbs like you
its alive…ALIVE!
Ryan, are you in Oregon?
That’s the last time I scratch someone else’s back…
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:05 pm said:
Ryan, are you in Oregon?
Aye captain
Cajohn, for real he is in his own state….we aren’t sure where he is really 
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:06 pm said:
Aye captain
Then we gotta stay away from Oregon…
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:07 pm said:
Then we gotta stay away from Oregon…
HAHAHAHAHA
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:07 pm said:
Then we gotta stay away from Oregon…
That hurts man…
Ryan, I look forward to meeting you at ZestFest!!!
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 10:07 pm said:
HAHAHAHAHA
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:07 pm said:
Then we gotta stay away from Oregon…
Ya’ll can suck Nick’s thumb
not after huvason tried to eat it!!!
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:07 pm said:
Ryan, I look forward to meeting you at ZestFest!!!
It would be an honor an a privalege. I look forward to meeting you as well
“redrum…redrum…redum”
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:09 pm said:
not after huvason tried to eat it!!!
I just licked it a little
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:08 pm said:
Ya’ll can suck Nick’s thumb
You’ll have to pull it out of your mouth first! hehe
I certainly respect your angle on things, and appreciate your willingness to speak your mind. Keep it up Brother!!!
You and my wife BOTH mistake that as my head…you guys got ESPN or something?
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 10:10 pm said:You’ll have to pull it out of your mouth first! hehe
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:10 pm said:
I just licked it a little
Then why that look on Nick’s face?
caption:
“I knew I shouldn’t have thumb wrestled the Homunculus”
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:12 pm said:
Then why that look on Nick’s face?
he was upset that huv stopped…
“Nick gets his redwings.”
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:12 pm said:
Then why that look on Nick’s face?
He’s crying because I stopped
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:11 pm said:
I certainly respect your angle on things, and appreciate your willingness to speak your mind. Keep it up Brother!!!
Thank you very much. I appreciate yours as well. Zest Fest is gonna be a blast!
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 10:14 pm said:
he was upset that huv stopped…
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:14 pm said:
He’s crying because I stopped
NOW THAT’S SCARY TRACY. Same post at the same time.
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:14 pm said:
He’s crying because I stopped
ha ha beat ya to it!
DK on 4/3/2006 at 10:14 pm said:
“Nick gets his redwings.”
good lord man!! LMFAO
I Just realized I should stop this! There are pictures of me on that camera!
My therapist warned me about chewing on my finger nails…
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:17 pm said:
I Just realized I should stop this! There are pictures of me on that camera!
Yeah, wouldn’t want the world to find out the REAL reason Nick’s making that face
Don’t they clean under these tables?
get it off! GET IT OFF!
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:18 pm said:
Yeah, wouldn’t want the world to find out the REAL reason Nick’s making that face
LOL - i’ll never tell, but I WAS sitting next to him.
first my thumb…then the WOLRD! Mwahahahahaha
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:21 pm said:
LOL - i’ll never tell, but I WAS sitting next to him.
Hey, this is the HSB army, remember? Don’t ask, don’t tell
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:22 pm said:
first my thumb…then the WOLRD! Mwahahahahaha
No No No Ryan! That’s Defcons slogan!
huvason on 4/3/2006 at 10:17 pm said:
I Just realized I should stop this! There are pictures of me on that camera!
caption:
and this little piggy made me go wee wee wee all the way home
Tracy C on 4/3/2006 at 10:23 pm said:
No No No Ryan! That’s Defcons slogan!
Not even gonna go where I think you’re going with that one but I like it
Mrs.Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:24 pm said:
caption:
and this little piggy made me go wee wee wee all the way home
I don’t think it was his bladder that was active!!!
C’mere little chilehead, Uncle Nick’s got a surprise for you
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:29 pm said:
I don’t think it was his bladder that was active!!!
yeah but i bet he scrunched his face and said “weee weeee weeee” when whatever it was DID become active…..
NO! we don’t HAVE any pudding!
You can’t have any pudding, if you don’t eat your meat..
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:31 pm said:
NO! we don’t HAVE any pudding!
Man, you ARE sick!!!
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:34 pm said:
Man, you ARE sick!!!
I’ll take that as a compliment
CaJohn on 4/3/2006 at 10:34 pm said:
Man, you ARE sick!!!
Cajohn, get your head out of the gutter……Ryans needs to roll by
Ryan on 4/3/2006 at 10:31 pm said:
NO! we don’t HAVE any pudding!
Just wait…
You mean this ISN’T fetish night?
“Nick checks in on the HSB between rounds using his top secret Thumberry.”"
Now how am I supposed to scrath like this?
Nick sees the face of The Virgin Mary in the wing sauce
I just got all the insulation done in the babys room!!!!!!!…let the insults..um..i mean captions begin!!!
Nick suddenly realized that “the thumber told me to do it” was not a valid excuse
eman on 4/3/2006 at 10:43 pm said:
I just got all the insulation done in the babys room!!!!!!!…let the insults..um..i mean captions begin!!!
Congrats EMAN! Now get yer butt in here and be the sick monkey that you are
eman on 4/3/2006 at 10:43 pm said:
I just got all the insulation done in the babys room!!!!!!!…let the insults..um..i mean captions begin!!!
Hey enima!! welcome
Nick - you seemed a whole lot smarter than this
Good Luck!
(BTW - still have the sauce on my fingers. My eyes were burning putting in my contacts this morning!)