Pepper Fest is being held at Sand Key Park, 1060 Gulf Blvd., Clearwater, FL on Saturday, June 7, 2008 from 10am til 4pm. Hot & Spicy Foods & Sauces to
Sample & Purchase along with Pepper Plants & BBQ too! FREE Parking! FREE Admission! Call 727-423-8433 for more info or email us at PepperFest@Hotmail.com

NEXT DEFCON EVENT, 5/3/08!!!

The 2nd Annual New England Regional Chili Cookoff

Pleasant View, route 83/452 South Road, Somers, CT 06071

May 3, 2008 will welcome more than 40 Chili Cooks from across the country to Pleasant View in Somers, Ct as they compete for an opportunity to represent the New England Regional Chili Cookoff at the World Competition later this year.

The DEFCON Crew will be serving up our culinary masterpieces of wingdom to the masses! Hand-cooked by The DEFCON Creator himself!
The event will benefit the Enfield Food Shelf.
Sanctioned and governed by the International Chili Society, cooks will compete in Red Chili, Chili Verde and Salsa categories. There will also be non-ICS categories for a Youth Division for kids under 18 years of age and People’s Choice Chili that the public will vote the best. Cash awards totaling $2500 will be distributed to winning teams.

The event is open to the public from 11am to 4pm. Tasting kits will be sold at the gate for $5.00 and two canned goods per adult, kids under 10 free. Live entertainment featuring local talent Acoustic Rick and the New England Regional Chili Cookoff All Star Band will take the stage. Food vendors and crafters will be on hand. A hot pepper eating contest will be sure to heat things up!
*For more information, www.chilict.com or madmike@chilict.com

The
DEFCON Global Assimilation Tour 2008
continues!

Saturday, April 12, 2008, 1-4:30pm

St. James’s Gate

167 Maplewood Avenue

Maplewood, NJ 07040

973-378-2222

We, The DEFCON Crew, in our never-ending quest to assimilate the global population into the DEFCON Continuum, will be rolling into Maplewood, New Jersey once again. Armed with the best wing sauce available on this celestial rock, we will be serving all of our exquisite products (including our newest product, The DM MKII and of course our most infamous elixir, the ZERO) to the masses for FREE once again. That’s correct, FREE WINGS for the afternoon, all you can eat! Where else is it possible to be served a wing sauce that has claimed 14 international awards in the past 3 years for FREE, and not to mention the Official Wing Sauce of the New Jersey Devils? That’s right, NOWHERE!

And as an added bonus, when you find yourself overwhelmed with culinary rapture, which of course in inevitable, you can also purchase our products on location!

Also, if we succeed in getting enough gladiators, we will also have a Wing-Eating DEATHMATCH competition as well!

Do you dare to take a place at The Table of Virtue?

We will be raffling off a bunch of stuff like t-shirts, sauce packs, etc. as well.

Come join The DEFCON Crew in our latest stop in the Global Assimilation Tour 2008! For more information regarding past events, visit our website, www.DEFCONsauces.com, and click on the “appearances” tab.

WOF Vendors update

Booths
1&2 Peppers
3—- Chooch+Pootan
4—- Cajun Island
5—- Mild to Wild
13– TorchBearer
14– Montezuma
15– Csigi
18– Chili Pit
17– Blane, DK,Buddah–?
19– Fat Kid Sauce
21&22-CaJohn’s
25&26-Hot Shoots
27–Defcon
28–Bodines BBQ
29–Intensity Academy
33–Porkys
34–Big Dawg
35–Texas choice
39–THT
40–Blair’s
41–Redd Eye
42–Butt Shack
43–Lee’s Mustard
46&47 Gardeb Fresh Salsa
49–Captain Tom’s

Sorry for the long delay between the Saturday and Sunday posts. I have worked every day, and most nights as well since we’ve been back.

Well since this is the continuation from the last post, if you read it you would know the weather on Saturday was incredible, 70 degrees. When I opened the blinds on Saturday I about fell over cause the sun was so intense. On Sunday the weather changed, it was overcast and much cooler.

After breakfast we planned out our day. I had brought two cases of product with us to try to work some trades. About 3/4 of that still remained. I was on a mission, there was no way I was bringing back any of the sauce I brought. I already knew that I needed to get ahold of Cowboy George, ’cause he had an early flight and would be leaving the show early.

Once again, I couldn’t wait for the wife to get ready. There were thousands of sauces waiting to be eaten downstairs. That definitely trumps make-up, ironing and blow drying! Everyone else was just lucky I had enough patience to shower and brush my teeth! The only other show I had ever been to, we were exhibitors, this was a whole new level of chilehead nirvana! I loaded up the pack with my own product in hopes someone would agree to exchange my wares for their tasty sauces.

The first booth I stopped by was Danny Cash once again, not just ’cause they are cool guys, or we are friends, but also ’cause they are right out front before you go into the main auditorium. I asked if they had seen Cowboy George this morning. The boys at DC didn’t know who I was talking about. Nate Dog, who was trying some of the tasty goodness at the DC booth gave them a fair and accurate description, still no help. Next stop was Gage Salsa. These guys had taken us up on the offer of exchange the day before and I still owed them a Honey-Chipotle. One jar lighter! Two of the tastiest salsas at the show belonged to them and their neighboor Rancho Bravo. Next stop, Bermuda Jam Factory. If you like pepper jellies or pepper jams, this is the place for you! My fave was the Hurricane Force, I think it was their second hottest, but it was the one that tasted best to me. Unfortunately their U.S. co-packer couldn’t get product ready for them until May 1st so they were just showcasing what they had, and had no product for sale. To ship product from Bermuda would have cost a fortune. Shortly after visiting with the guys at Bermuda Jam Factory I ran into Cowboy George. Since he is opening a new hot shop I unloaded one of everything we have on him. Back pack empty, mission accomplished, back to the room to re-load.

The wife was finally ready. I loaded up my pack and we went back down to the show. This time the first stop was Big Dawg, another of the tastiest salsas in at the show. I dropped them one of everything. All I wanted in exchange was the CPR trio and some Burn Ur Face Off, but Darrell was having none of that and hooked us up with a few other goodies, Flat Lime Salsa and their Salvage Cajun Seasoning. Somewhere shortly after we met Lars and his mom at Csigi. Lars had taken the time to prepare some delicious samples including queso and honey habanero BBQ beef, MM MM good. We needed gifts for a couple people who were taking care of the boys while we were out of town, and Lars’ products were perfect for that. We started to tell Lars who we were, and he reminded me that he had done a review of our Honey-Chipotle. Nuff said, products exchanged.

After we unloaded the pack on this round we had only two bottles of our sauce left. The pile of sauces we had accumulated (purchased, bartered, gifted) was huge! We began to worry, how would we get all of this stuff home? Would it make it home safely? Well lets just see. We did bring a lot of bubble wrap.

We ran into ChileheadEd again , and he finally had his Redrum sauces with him, well actually they were behind the booth at Mild to Wild Herb and Pepper co., I tried them all. The one I fell in love with was the Golden BBQ.

It was somewhere around 3 o’clock and this incredible show was winding down. I still had alot of things I wanted to taste. When we got back to the show, it didn’t take long before we ran into another friend we had made at ZestFest, who other than June DeRousse from Chile Pepper Magazine. The funny thing was we both made eye contact, then did the double take. June is another one of those friendly Texans. I guess that Fort Worth area has an affect on people. We knew from previous emails that she would be in attendance but like so many of the other friends that we knew were going to be there, we had neglected to get her number. We chatted and laughed for probably an hour. We decided to go get something to eat. On the way June stopped off to buy Dave DeWitt’s newest book and have him sign it for her. We ran into Buddah, Steve, and Ed on the way and they decided to join us for lunch. We went to the roof top bar and found out that unfortunately they weren’t serving food for another hour. June and Tina ended up catching a cab to go get something to eat. Buddah, Steve, Ed and myself ended up at the sports bar where service was ridiculously slow and I had to go ask the bartender for our bill which arrived about 10 minutes after I asked for it.

By the Time we settled the bill it was 5:30 and the show ended at 6:00. Holy crap, it was time to do some last minute shopping, but first thing first, I needed to stop by The Bermuda Jam Factory. They had been talking about some fabulous rum cocktails. These guys weren’t lying, rum and ginger beer. Drink in hand I rushed to the Red Eye booth where I needed to get some of their Easy Goin’ Mild Salsa. My wife was shocked to hear that I liked their mild the best out of all their products, salsas and hot sauces. She made me promise to get it for her before she went to lunch.

Next stop was to be Dakota Mustard. Buddah, among others, raved about this stuff! Alas, it was not to be! The booth was empty, a sign on the table said sold out again. The cruelest cut was the fact that they had pulled the sample bottles to the back of the booth. I considered stepping into the booth to sneak a sample, nah, bad idea.

Okay, what was left to get ? I still hadn’t stopped by Sweet Sunshine. I saw them, I know and love everything they make, and I had intended on picking up some product. They had come into the sports bar when we were eating and everyone recognized them, there’s Kelli and Ed from Sweet Sunshine!

I wanted to see what the CaJohn crew was doing for dinner so I stopped by there before my final stop. I had offered to help break down, so I needed to make sure they still needed help. Yep, and Gardunos for dinner, we could all cram into the van! All set.

I guess I had tunnel vision for two days. Some how I had walked past All Spice Cafe’s booth several times and never seen it!?! I had a bottle of their product in my cabinet for recipe development, but had not yet tried it. I talked with the owner J.D. for the duration of the event. Terrific products, great label! If you replace the peppers on the label with facial hair, that’s J.D.

I think everyones booths came down in record time, and soon it seemed like the Jam Factory guys had hooked up half of the remaining vendors with the Rum cocktail. The wife June and Danny were all sitting out front where the DC booth had formerly been. We talked and laughed for a bit. We agreed to meet on the roof for after dinner drinks.

After the final sauce drop we met with our dinner group. MSK had decided not to join us (I think he had alot of sauce to pack still), and June also had other plans. ChileheadEd also said his goodbyes in the lobby, hugs were in order. It looked as if our dinner would be a party of 14. We fit 10 into CaJohns van (short bus). John, Sue, Chili, myself, Tina, Cowboy George (who had spent a frustrating day at the airport due to snow shutting down the Denver airport), Chile Willy, Nate Dog, Buddah and Steve. Darrell and Candy, and Chuck Evans and his friend joined us as well, but in seperate cars.

We arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes before closing on a Sunday a party of 14 without reservations. We all stood in the lobby expecting to be turned away. Soon the hostess led us to our table, they had decided to accomodate us. The food was good, the atmosphere was perfect (south west decor, ristras and memorabilia, mostly chile related), the company was world class.

On the ride back to the resort snow flakes were falling. Snow?, it was 70 yesterday. Yes, snow indeed, it would prove to delay many flights in the day to come.

We gathered in the rooftop bar to laugh and drink until they threw us out. Unceremoniuosly at midnight one of the resort security began to scream “GET OUT!”. Seriously, this guy was an ass. Apparently he had done the same thing the night before. Much of the group was heading down stairs to continue conversations and hopefully continue drinking. We however had mucho hot sauce to pack up. We said our goodbyes, more hugs were in order. After about an hour of packing, everything was ready for our morning flight.

I have figured out a few things during this trip and would like to share them with everyone. First off pre-register.you get to by-pass all the lines and get in before the masses, it’s like having a backstage pass. If you are not pre-registered make sure and get stamped for re-entry if you need to leave the show. A back pack is nice to have so you can haul all of your loot, it also keeps your hands free for samples and beverages. Bring a camera, you never know what you’ll see. If you’ve never been to a show before ask others for suggestions on what to try. Take notes or photos to remind yourself what you liked. There are so many things to try you probably wont get through them all. Usually if I stop at a booth to try something, I try everything they have. Bring bubble wrap, lots of it! I really like to chat with the manufacturers as well whenever possible. During the show it is not an easy thing to do but usually after hours they gather for cold beverages. If you are going to sample superhots or extracts they may skew your opinion of other product, I usually try these pain producing product before I am ready to take a break. Keep in mind fire in, fire out.

Some of my favorite exhibits at the show:

• Danny Cash: Danny has some very tasty sauces, Bloody Mary mixes, collectables, and a fresh perspective on hot sauce, you could even have a label made with your pic on it right there at the show. Always the innovator, you are sure to see something new from Danny at every show. Not to be forgotten, you will also see the current HSB wing-off champion, Lee AKA my arch nemesis here along with Pepperman, who by the way, is a babe magnet.
• Mild to Wild Pepper and Herb Co.: Jim Campbell is probably the smartest chilehead you will ever meet. He is a firefighter, a farmer, a hot sauce manufacturer, a Guiness World Record holder, A humanitariun (Check out stepupforcharity.com), and an all around nice guy.
• Blair’s: This is where you will find some of the most sought after items at the show. Blair is a pioneer in the gourmet hot sauce industry. His collectables are highly prized and always sell out. It would be nice to meet him in person though.
• Big Dawg: Salsa, hot sauces, spice rubs, and dip mixes. You may find Candy running the booth. If you look closely you will notice the pictures on the CPR (Candy’s Private Reserve) sauces are Darrell’s rendition of his lovely wife. With so many great things to try you will definitely end up buying some of their tasty products.
• Tony Legner: Besides his award winning Cat-5 food polish, Tony has come up with a few new items. A steak sauce which was delicious and some spicy pickled beans and carrots for Bloody Marys or snacking.
• Intensity Academy: A fresh idea in the biz. Innovative and delicious carrot based sauces. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for theses guys. The media loves them as well.
• Bodines: Did someone say MOJO? Their award winning sauces come in the hip pocket, whiskey style bottle. When I tasted these sauces recipes and marinating came to mind.
• Defcon; They put on quite the spectacle and will gladly hurt you if you let them. If you are not into extreme heat that’s okay they have some not so hot sauces as well, but no matter what you want to hang out by their booth for a little while. If you aren’t the one looking for extreme heat, someone will arrive shortly. Look for the testosterone filled muscle head. You know the guy, “nothing is too hot, give me the hottest thing you have”. I love seeing people in chile pain, and this is the perfect venue for that!
• Csigi: Lars not only makes award winning gourmet sauces, but also prepares some extremely tasty samples that showcase his culinary talent.
• CaJohn: If you don’t know who CaJohn is then you don’t know hot sauce, or salsa, or superhots, or chili fixin’s, or hot clothing, or dry rubs, or collectibles… Nuff said? One stop shopping.

My biggest regret about the whole show, was not making it by the Sweet Sunshine booth to chat and eat up some of their samples. These guys bring hot and sweet to a new level.

It’s Thursday morning, February 28. It’s also 4:30 am, 12 degrees, and the wind is kicking. We load our luggage into a friend’s car who volunteered to drive us to the airport (for a free case of beer, of course). We get to Newark airport and join the rest of the red-eyed zombies to be first-hand witnesses to the ineptitude of the Newark TSA agents. It’s truly is amazing to watch, kind of like a cross between “Stupid Human Tricks” on David Letterman and Ed, Edd and Eddy on the Cartoon Network. We get through the security, put our boots and belts back on, and head towards the gate. Cripes, it’s so early, the bars aren’t even open yet by the gate. Damn, not a good start. Let me qualify this statement. These trade shows are my vacations (for the past three years), and vacations are supposed to start with a beer.

We board the plane for the first leg of the annual Albuquerque pilgrimage. Our first stop is Houston, which will be my nemesis down the road…But I digress. The plane, to my unexpected and overwhelming joy, was nearly empty. Everyone was able to find a row of 3 seats and catch a nap. Even better, we arrived in Houston an hour early. Now this is usually a good thing, however, this being the annual pilgrimage to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino, there was bound to be unforeseen problems. Well, now our layover was 2 and a half hours, instead of 1 and a half, ugh. At least the bars were open. We killed the time making fun of the people walking around in the airport, which is always a lot of fun. We grab a bite of some fast food, which always gives me gastrointestinal problems, and not to mention a lot of gas. While we’re eating our genetically-enhanced airport pseudo-food, we spot Captain Thom at the counter.

We greet each other and join them at their table for a bit. We’re on the same flight, and Captain Thom and his wife, being the awesome people they are, offer us a ride in their rental car to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino when we land. What a great offer, as I really wasn’t looking forward to the Sandia shuttle bus, I wanted to get there before the show ended. Well, we board the plane and take our seats. As we sat, the plane became more and more and more full. Yup, packed flight. It’s amazing how many interesting smells get on a packed aircraft, most of them comparable to the fragrance of a back end of a sheep before shearing season. Of course there were a few cretin-like offspring, with the manners of hungry goats, but that was to be expected. As we sat there, a gentleman (and I use that term very loosely), began to sing, directly behind us. I’ve become used to this sort of behavior as of late, having to deal with the multitudes of people who are unplugged from reality and plugged into their iPod, so it didn’t really affect me…At first. The crooning turned to singing, which wouldn’t have been that bad, if the guy didn’t sound like a pregnant cat being squeezed in a vise. The plane departed, the singing picked up its pace and volume, and the cretin-like offspring began their ill-mannered, primate-like behavior. Myself and Maggie just looked at each other and started laughing, and joined in a duet with the moron sitting behind us. Only difference was, he was singing one song, and I broke out into a quite eloquent version of Motorhead’s “Orgasmatron”, quite funny.

By this point I began to notice something rather unusual. The woman sitting next to me seemed to be growing. I was in the center seat, always allowing Maggie to sit by the window (that’s just the kind of guy I am). I don’t mind being the buffer, but this woman began taking over much more than her allotted “room”. It was then that it hit, the gastrointestinal distress from the quasi-food we had at the airport. Ah yes, it was time to make my move! I unloaded a vast gastrointestinal cloud in my seat. Maggie looked at me with a look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I sat there and began to chuckle, watching the growing woman to my left begin convulsing. The man behind us stopped singing and coughed. All was well. Having had my revenge, even the goat children didn’t affect me anymore.

We landed, got our luggage, picked up the rental car with Captain Thom and his wife, and headed to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino. We arrived uneventfully, checked in, and the bellboy and Maggie went up to drop our stuff in the room. I went directly to the location in which the 3 days of battle would take place. I was kind of psyched about setting the booth up, as we had acquired substantially more electronic goodies for this show, and we never did a dry run with all of it. I met up with Lynn (Devil Duck), who had waited patiently for our arrival, at the booth. When I looked, I initially thought Lynn did the unthinkable in goodness and had broken down our pallet. However, fear and madness quickly took over my psyche when I came to the realization that our pallet wasn’t IN our booth (oh joy!). With my head quickly filling with vile and quite reprehensible thoughts, I made my way to the delivery station. They stated to me the pallet had never been delivered. Folks, this is the FIRST time in my entire life I was at a loss for words. My mind was spinning, and before I performed a larynx removal on the gentleman with my bare hands, I called Maggie back in our room, as she had all the delivery information. I explained he will be dealing with my wife, as my patience had worn out, and I didn’t feel like getting a complimentary pair of shiny bracelets from the Unsecured Casino security guys. Soon after that, distant thunder could be heard, and the faint smell of brimstone could be detected, when all of a sudden, in the midst of a rage not seen since the days of the Vikings, Maggie (The Wife Unit, aka The Createss) enters! I softly told the gentleman when conversing with her, to move his hands very slowly or she will attack, not unlike a badger protecting its young. I walked away and watched my lovely wife verbally flay the skin from the bones of the delivery gentleman. Soon after that, she was told that the pallet would show up in a few hours. Way to go Maggie!

Well, with a couple hours to kill, and a large amount of evil adrenaline flowing through the veins, what else is there to do, DRINK! We headed to the “Single Screen Sports Bar” (things are a little different around here, I always thought a sports bar had more than one TV. But then again, this is the same Unsecured Casino that doesn’t allow alcohol into the casino area). Anyway, we met up with a number of vendors and others. Yup, there was MSK, in his glory! We put a few tables together and shot the sh*t, catching up with each other since the last time we all met. Chili, The Badgerland Crew, the Anchor Bar dude, Greg form Bodines, Lynn, and many others had a pretty good discussion. After a time, I felt it was time to check on the pallet. I strolled into the War Room, watching as most people were finishing up setting up their booths, and there it was, THE PALLET! It was now about 6:30pm, and we began the daunting task of setting up our booth. I thank Lynn and Greg from Bodine’s from the bottom of my cryogenically-frozen heart for their help setting up the electrical stuff, which is a majority of our booth. We were about 1/3 of the way done, when they promptly kicked us out at 8pm, knowing full well we had just gotten our pallet. How nice. Well, it seems the annual mis-adventures of the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino is once again definitely unfolding, and having already prepared myself, knowing what has transpired in former years, the Rod Serling-esque escapades are surely not over. My premonitions would turn out to be correct.

After all the excitement the first day, we really weren’t hungry. We headed to the infamous Unsecured Casino Bar, and proceeded to have a few beers. We met up with Greg and MSK and a few others. I asked MSK if he’d like to try the ZERO. I was half-joking, as I knew he had already had it in the past and it hit him like a lightning bolt, but to my amazement, he said ok. I put some on a cocktail straw, and with my standard evil smirk, watched in abject pleasure as he consumed it. His reaction made me scan the immediate area for a defibrillator, but the tears of painful bliss put my mind at ease. He rode the wave of capsaicin like trooper, but I don’t think he’ll fall for my ruse again. Many people went there own way that evening, and we soon found ourselves in the roof bar for a nightcap with the gentleman from Carlsbad Gourmet. We had a couple nightcaps, and headed off to sleep. While we were walking to our room, that I hadn’t been in yet, Maggie informed me of another Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino nicety, we were given a lovely smoking room. Yeah, I smoke, but never in my house. The stench of our room was awful, and we inquired if we could change our room, but the boundless generosity of the resort would show itself again, and they said no. How nice. Well, realizing we were once more captives of the Unsecured Casino, we fell asleep in our own personal tar den.

Friday morning came, and I awoke to the acrid smell of many White Owl and Dutchmasters ultra-premium cigars. We got dressed and headed down to the infamous “Groundhog Day” breakfast. We consumed our breakfast, and off we headed to our booth, to finish what we were only allowed to start the previous day. Our Defcon Acolytes Miriam and Larry, and their little guy Remy (with his own 2-year old sized Defcon shirt) joined us. We set up the rest of our booth, and when we were finished, I headed back to our smoking lounge (room #548 for future reference) to morph into my alter ego, The Creator. It turned out to be a pretty good morning, it seemed many more retailers and wholesalers were drawn to our glowing booth, and many more contacts were made. Cheffy stopped by with a beautiful package of jerky, man I love that guy. If you’ve never met him, he’s got a heart of gold and an attitude to match. Lynn showed up with the dry ice the day before, and we once again we had the coldest beer in the house! It was a happy time, but we all knew that the Gates of Hell would open at 4pm, and the first wave of the biomass would approach. At about 3:45, I went to the smoking area for my final cigarette and white blindfold. As usual, many vendors were present as well, and a feeling of light-hearted levity filled the air. The first day is always like this, as everyone is still fresh and awake. We chatted, and then went back to our allotted parapets to lock and load, and man the battlements for the ensuing skirmish.

The Horn of Valhalla was sounded, and the Gates of Hell opened right on time. Friday is a little more frantic, as the biomass knows that everything is in stock, and most have made a list of what they want, and make their way rather quickly to sate their shopping lists. I was amazed at how many people I recognized from last year came to our booth. A few of them even gave me beers, thanking me for my return, now THAT’S what I call a nice gesture! Many had heard of the release of our new product, the DM MKII, and came in specifically for it. I happily doled out many cocktail straws, and watched in boundless joy as they joined in the chorus of pain-filled whimpers and tears. It was only 3 hours of biomass this day, and the time went quickly. It was a good day, as many friends came by to say hi and just catch up on things. 7pm came, and we packed up. All was good.

We went back to our olfactory nightmare of a room, changed, and then met up once again in the “Single Screen Sports Bar” and met up with a few vendors and friends. I wasn’t really hungry again, so Maggie joined Greg and a few others for the buffet, as I headed back to the “sports bar”. I met up with Pepperman and his wife and we shot a few jokes back and forth, what else is new. Pepperman is the type of dude that just exudes personality, and the fact we both enjoy our hops and barley, we always seem to get along great. After laughing it up for a while, it was time to hit the Roof Bar. We took over the same table we had last year, and as time went on, more and more tables were joined together, and formed a sort of “Camelot of Capsaicin Round Table” with both vendors and assorted friends. Beer flowed very nicely, and the discussions were quite lively, as did the candid picture taking. As a helpful hint for the future, order your beers from more than one waitress, that way you get more than one every 45 minutes. I ended the night by having to concentrate on remaining vertical for the walk to the elevator. See what happens when you don’t eat dinner?

It’s Saturday. I awake (if that’s what you want to call it) feeling as if I slept with a dirty sock in my mouth. I get the clouds out of my head when I pound home the reality that yesterday was the battle, today begins the war. We consume our Groundhog Day breakfast, and once again prepare for battle. I spent most of trade time out in the smoking area, hanging out trying to clear my head from the previous night. I then remember, I have Fosters on dry ice! AWESOME! I don’t care what anyone says, a bit of the hair of the dog works, and I was back to normal (???) soon there after. The couple hours of trade time allowed us to clean up the booth, and prepare for the inevitable onslaught of the second wave of biomass. 11 o’clock came, and the Trumpets of Tarterus sounded, the biomass descended upon us like a tidal swell. Like lightning, Acolyte Larry handed out samples, like lightning Maggie filled shopping bags with product, like lightning I handed out pain to the masses. It was then that it happened. You see, our booth was heavily awash in ultraviolet light, with about a dozen blacklight fixtures that adorned the inside of our booth. As a gentleman handed Maggie a five and a single, the music in my head suddenly stopped when she handed me his currency and asked, “Do you think there is something wrong with this five dollar bill?”. Being directly under one of the fluorescent blacklight fixtures, I gazed upon the currency, the single looked normal, but the five dollar bill glowed like burning magnesium. I examined the bill, it was printer paper. I handed it back to the gentleman and told him I need real money this time. He exchanged it and took the monopoly money to the Unsecured Casino Security. This event put me on guard, and I closely examined the rest of the money. Sure enough, we had a number of singles that glowed as well. The Feds were called in and we were told that they found a number of vendors with a few fake singles and fives. Needless to say, a number of vendors would stop by our booth every now and then to examine their currency under the blacklights. See that, Defcon to the rescue! LOL! The amazing annual mis-adventures of the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino ring true again. Another bump in the road was also found out around this time. There was no wireless internet. Great, that means no credit cards, how wonderful! We would soon find out that the Unsecured Casino was actually charging for wireless. Ummm, perhaps in this alternate plane of existence this is ok, but from where I come from, virtually every business (hotels, resorts, CASINOS, etc) has free wireless throughout the building. Perhaps Rod Serling was indeed in the building for an extended stay!

After these little doses of reality had been digested, we resumed our work, and carried on. Many people showed that day, including Nick, ChiliHeadEd, Buddah, and many more. A blogger from another blog greeted us well, Dreamtheatervt. Nice guy, and really helped us out at the end during breakdown. All you guys definitely help take the days pressures off with a little well-needed humor, I appreciate it more than you know.

The masses kept coming, the pain was endlessly handed out, and our stockpile of products was quickly being depleted. During the afternoon, a code word seemed to have been generated when approaching our booth. One by one, individuals would scrape there way through the audience that stood in front of our booth all afternoon, and approach the guy with the labcoat and orange contacts. I would greet them, and the only thing they would utter was the word “vial”. At first, I wondered if they were describing me, which wouldn’t be too off the mark, but I soon realized they wanted the ZERO, which I keep on my person 24/7 during the show (and usually anywhere else). I happily served the Mephistophelean elixir to the gent, and reveled in happiness as their faces contorted into shapes like something out of the movie “Altered States”. Many testosterone-laden individuals would approach me stating the usual line, “Gimme the hottest you got, ‘cause you can’t make it hot enough”. Well, perhaps they shouldn’t say that sort of thing to a dude in a labcoat and gas mask. One by one, I made them the laughing stock of their “tough guy” crowd. As the afternoon progressed, I took occasional smoke breaks, and would hang with various vendors and customers. It was fun seeing the previous ZERO subjects on the deck, still red-faced and drooling. I would look at them and smirk, and they would inevitably turn away, kinda funny. We had a couple of camera crews come by and do a few shots, even Peppers got in on it, and served up a plate of Defcon wings at our booth to a nice unsuspecting couple. We could’ve been mean, but we served them the #2 (medium). Others tried to take a wing or two, but the gentleman who had been served the plate quickly slapped their grasping hands, gee, he must like the stuff. Another camera, from KOAT, Channel 7 stopped by for their annual take. They filmed one of the ZERO candidates, and his initial ensuing pain, and then showed clips of many different booths and people. At the end of the TV clip, which we saw the next morning, the ZERO candidate uttered, “Winner” and then panned over to the back of Maggie’s chef coat. Nice. It was also nice to see another large group of repeat customers flock to us this day, and they were overjoyed by the fact we had the 32 ouncers available. Many stated, “Man, this should hold me over until next year”. The afternoon turned to evening, and 7pm came and we went. We decided to go to get a nice big steak somewhere, so myself and Maggie, Greg from Bodine’s, and Tom and Michelle from Intensity Academy hopped into Tom’s car and shot off to the Texas Steakhouse where we enjoyed a nice, well cooked hunk of slaughtered bovine.

After dinner, we headed back to the Sandia Resort and Unsecured Casino, but stopped off at a quicky mart for some supplies. My wife, my wonderful wife, with her eagle eyes, spotted my favorite bourbon, Woodford, on one of the shelves, and it was a lot less expensive than it is in New Jersey (come to think of it, most things are). Anyway, we went to the roof bar again for a short while, had a couple beers, and just crashed. It’s good that we did, as tomorrow, Sunday, would be the Day of Judgment, the light at the end of the tunnel, Gettysburg, you get the idea.

It’s Sunday, The Battle of Ragnarok lies in wait. We awake in our nicotine-laced cubicle of residence and prepare for the final battle. We chow down our Groundhog Day breakfast, and head to the glowing ultraviolet fort. The vendors met on the deck before game time. Most, including myself, showed signs of fatigue. The mental wounds of perpetual inane questions like, “How do you make a pepper hot”, began to take their toll. It was time for the vendors to fight back against the biomass of baneful lemurs. Sunday is also the day when the subterranean bipeds come above the surface, and stumble the aisles with a beer in each hand. This usually doesn’t occur until about an hour before the show closes on the last day. I find this time to be the most enjoyable, as any sort of quick wit flies right over their heads, and you are left with a deer in the headlights stare. This day was to prove to be no different. The Drums of the Apocalypse sounded at 11am, and the gates of the Nine Hells opened, and spewed forth its final assault upon us. We stood our ground, and gave no quarter, for this was our day. We had fought the masses with an unending passion that rivaled that of the Spartans at Thermopylae. As the day progressed, and we saw a few of our troops beginning to waiver, they would quickly be brought back from defeat by an adjacent vendor shouting, “HOLD THE LINE! NONE SHALL PASS!”. The day progressed, and the mind-numbing questions, there were many. Our feet and ankles no longer hurt, as we could feel them no more. Mid afternoon came, and the fatigue of the last 72 hours began to weaken us. But it was then, our hearts were lifted, our souls were recharged, for it was the Bermuda Jam guys to the rescue! As they did last year, the Bermudian Knights appeared as benevolent angels, for they had the elixir of life with them, as they did last year, the DARK & STORMYS (Bacardi 151 & Ginger Beer)!!! We pounded back their life-giving manna and resumed our posts, with a heightened staunchness not seen since Friday. We weathered all the public could throw at us. Our stockpiles of product quickly dwindled, and our pockets, they did grow with green.

Twilight was upon us, as the light in the tunnel was near reachable, when we were set upon by the aforementioned subterranean bipeds. They came in packs of 6 or 7, each filled to the eyeballs with testosterone, and a beer in each hand. They approached, and demanded the hottest we had. I looked at my Acolyte troops, Maggie and Larry, and they shot me back the evil grins I so wanted to see. I dipped the cocktail straws into the ZERO and handed it to the greenhorn wannabes. They ingested, they fell, we laughed. Our fortification stood, the Day of Reckoning had ended in victory. It was time for breakdown.

Our breakdown is a little different from the other booths, as the 17 extension cords, and dozens of pieces of lighting equipment take a while to pack up. I was ordered to leave the booth by my trusty wife, so she could clear off the tables first. I have learned to heed her words, for the tone she said it in, there was the ever-present inherent warning. Tony Legner stopped by (the CAT-5 guy), and I followed him back to his booth. I hadn’t the chance to walk around much this year, as we were continually swamped, so I was happy to join him. We traded goods and apparel, and I met, I presume his wife (the Dark & Stormys were taking their toll by this point). Well, this lovely woman is an ex-patriot from New Jersey. When I found this out, I saw an opportunity for some really funny stuff. I had the booth laughing their asses off, as I allowed the New Jersey attitude to roll off my tongue in a non-stop diatribe that would make The Soprano’s proud. Well, it was back to the booth. We had some amazing help from some really great people. Lynn, Greg, and Dreamtheatervt gave us the help we so desperately needed. The best part is, we still had a cooler full of Fosters on dry ice, all is good. The beers were being consumed, the booth was broken down, the pallet was being created, all ahead of schedule, all is very good.

After the pallet was wrapped, we exited to the roof bar for some well-deserved libations. We first met up with Lynn and Kim (Devil Duck and Devil Duckette), Dreamtheatervt, and Greg from Bodines. Soon after, we were joined by the infamous Pepperman and a few others. Pepperman and I sought to retake the table which formed the Camelot of Capsaicin’s Round Table two nights earlier. We approached the gentlemen sitting at it and asked if they would move as we had a mass of people that would likely be showing up. They were leaving anyway, so all was good, and no pressure had to be put on them to relocate. The vendor numbers, they did grow that evening. Much talk of the day’s events ensued, and war stories were told. It was a warrior’s night, a night of remembrance. Friendships had been forged this weekend, and others just reinforced. The night went on, and goodbyes were met with handshakes and embraces. ‘Tis a strange industry we are a part of. Not unlike a Band of Brothers, this species of warrior is unique. Goodhearted and giving, this group genuinely cares about one another, even though their meetings are few and far between. Camaraderie exists that is like no other, and I am proud to be a part of it. The time came when we had to disperse and depart. We loaded into the elevators and one by one said our goodbyes until the next time we meet on the battlefield.

Next stop, Zest Fest, Miami!!!

Have you ever eaten something so spicy it made your eyes water? How ’bout something so hot it caused hiccups? Maybe you’ve ingested something that made you gasp for air? Swallowed anything that made you sweat? Did you grin and immediately decide you must have said product? If so you really owe it to yourself to attend one of these tongue toasting, head sweating, sucking air, where’s my beer?, chilepaloozas!

Well, if you are reading this and didn’t attend the show, you are probably wishing we would stop talking about it. I know exactly how you feel. That was me last year! I watched as the days to the show counted down. I read every post, and I swore to myself “I will be there next year!”.

This was only the 2nd show I have ever been to. The 1st show was ZestFest last year in Fort Worth.

We arrived later Friday on separate flights. My wife got to the hotel about 2 hours before I did ( we flew on miles), so she took a nap. We made a few phone calls and ended up B.S.’ing with MSK all night.

I have been told that they had a record breaking attendance this year. I was shocked at the size of the crowd on Saturday morning when I came down from my room. The only thing I have ever seen like this is a rock concert! The crowd was 6-8 people deep and more than 100 yards long!

Did I have to wait in this line? I thought to myself “I am screwed “! It was still 1/2 an hour before the show started, my wife was still getting ready upstairs, and I was getting ready to panic! I approached one of the security guards clutching my pre-registration paper work. “Just go to the counter there and get your badge”, he told me. WOOO HOOO!!! I excitedly grabbed a badge for myself and my wife and boogied into the show. I walked past a table at the entry that had bags with The 20th Annual Fiery Foods Show silkscreened on them (these were gone before the public got in). Let me pause to give you a little tip, if you see something you want here, get it before it’s gone!

I decided I should first unload a little weight from my backpack, so as soon as I saw Danny Cash’s booth I dropped off a gift. If you are a vendor just in attendance at an event remember gifts of booze are always appreciated especially if you have just released two new Bloody Mary mixes. I met Danny at ZestFest and he really has helped us out, so a token of appreciation was in order.

Lee, Pepperman, Alaina, and Danny

I stopped next door at Jim Campbell’s booth to say hi and ask If he knew where Big Dawg Salsa’s booth was. Jim gave me directions and away I went. I had committed to work at Darrell and Candy’s booth for a jar of salsa and a beer per hour. Turns out they didn’t need my help. Being released of this commitment I returned to the room, dropped off the wifes badge, and told her to hurry up ’cause it looked to be over 1000 people in line waiting to get in already. I then headed back to the show.

One of the great things about these blogs is you get to know what people look like. When you see them you can just step up and introduce yourself. The first new friend I met at the show was ChileheadEd, the maker of Redrum hot sauces. I was asking the guy at the Zeo label printing booth if that was the same machine that Danny Cash uses. Since the show had not started yet Ed could clearly hear the conversation. “He uses a Primera 400″, Ed stated flatly as he walked by. I finished up my conversation with the guy at Zeo, thanked him for his time, and tracked Ed down.

When I caught up with him, I introduced myself, and got the scoop on where to find Buddah, another friend from the blogs that I had never met in person. Those of you who know Buddah know he is never at a loss for words. Budah had many great recommends, having been to the show the night before. Buddahs friend Steve while not yet a chilehead, got a great introduction to all things spicy.

Intensity Academy

After I met Buddah and Steve we tried some of the Intensity Academy products, and since they were sharing a booth with Bodine I tried everything they had as well. I left the booth with my backpack 5 bottles heavier.

I wandered back to Big Dawg’s booth and munched on some of their samples. My wife called and let me know she was at the DC booth, so I was off to meet her. By this time the crowds had been not so slowly building and it was getting harder and harder to get through the aisles. Danny put together a beverage for me (’cause sampling hot sauces all day is mighty thirsty work). We decided to make a beeline for the CaJohn booth. On the way we stopped by the Salsa king booth and tried some delicious salsas. My favorites contained seafood and pumpkin seeds.

Sue, John, and Tina

When we got to John and Sue’s booth we were pretty much swamped by the crowd of people that just kept building. John invited us into the booth so we could chat and try some of the new goodies he had created. At that moment I probably looked like the Cheshire cat (ear to ear grin). I had brought a few old label Wanza’s Wicked Temptation bottles with me and had Sue (Wanza) sign them for me. I also got an awesome picture of John , Sue and My lovely wife Tina. We asked what they were doing for the evening, and found out they were going to the vendor party sponsored by El Pinto. They offered us a ride if we wanted, could this get any better? I sampled the new super secret processed Killer Chipotle, Killer Jalapeno, Killer Cayenne, and then the Lethal Ingestion, which Sue was serving up out of an injector syringe. These are hot, the latter of the group is on par with extract. No extract taste, pepper flavor then HEAT! My backpack was a couple bottles heavier now and I was sweating a little, at least I think it was a little.

Next Stop was Tony Legner’s booth. He had stopped in and said hi while we were talking to John and told us to come on down. Tony, Maddie, JD and his wife made up the crew of four fun loving Texans running the booth. At this stop we were again invited in to the sanctuary that now existed only inside the booth. The crowd had reduced all movement to foot shuffling only. I had started a rumor that Tony would have a new hot sauce at the show. People had already been asking him about it. Well turns out none of the recipes he came up with met his high standards, so instead he produced a new steak sauce and some pickled goodies for Bloody Marys. Still sweating backpack much heavier we turned the corner from Tony’s booth I grabbed a beer and we shuffled back toward the entrance/exit, which as it turned out was a whole beer away, perfect. We went back to the room and unloaded the pack.

After resting our feet for a few minutes and making myself a cocktail in disguise (rum and Coke in the coke 20 oz bottle), we headed back to the show. On our way out the door I commented to my wife how much this was like Mardi Gras. “That’s exactly what I was thinking!”, she burst out. Dropping off the sauce each time the pack got heavy was reminicent of dropping off beads everytime they got too heavy.

When we got back into the show we worked our way through the crowd to Capt. Thom’s booth I love their Dia De los Muertos, and it is my son Zack’s 2nd favorite sauce (only behind THT Crybaby). Since we were stopped I tried everything they had. Wow, the Thai Monkey, White Zombie and African Queen were deeelicious more weight in the pack and let’s keep movin’. The next stop was once again Big Dawg. We asked them what they were doing for the evening. Turned out they were going to go out for steaks with the Campbells instead of the vendor party. Bummer! By this time the wife was getting pretty hungry so we decided to go eat outside by the pool since it was 70 degrees out.

Sir, do you know who did this to you?

Before we made it outside we saw the paramedics attending to a wanna be chilehead emergency. Apparently someone ate something way out of their league, and forgot how to breathe. I couldn’t resist getting a few pics. This quickly brought security, I told them of course, I was taking pictures of the hot sauce booths. The pool side fare was pretty limited, burgers brats, or marinated chicken breast. The wife did the burger, I got a brat. As soon as we sat down I looked over and saw a rugged looking group of chileheads. Buddah, Steve, Chili, The Creator, ChileheadEd, and Bwana Bret were all chillin’ at the other end of the pool area. I had a few things for Buddah so I went over and snapped a photo before eating my meal and ended up handing off a couple bottles.

Buddah, Steve, Chili, The Creator, ChileheadEd, Bwana Bret

Now with actual food in my stomach, I fealt safe trying some of the Creator’s unique version of pain. I started with the Defcon 3, tasty but not hot. I decided to skip to the Deathmatch sauce. This was sampled off a swizzle stick which John dipped into the evil elixir. Nice, and head sweatin’ good heat. Next up? Zero of course! This request made John’s Smile double in size. I get the feeling he likes to hurt people. This one served off the same swizzle stick pain delivery device, seemed to have a certain bitterness I would compare to very dark chocolate, like 85% cacao. Maybe it’s just me? Anyway, I like the extra dark bitter chocolate flavor. So Zero was my fave out of the group. Since the endorphin rush would last for awhile I don’t recall sampling anything after that on Saturday. I do know I shuffled my way toward the beer vendor.

Defcon!

John all decked out

Next stop would be the El Pinto party. We were lucky enough to catch a ride on the CaJohn short bus! The more the merrier. 9 in one van. Buddah, Steve, Chilly Willy, Nate Dog, Myself, My wife Tina, Cowboy George, Sue and John. Free food, and some free drinks. Every one was asking what is up with the dudes wearing the pink Bermuda shorts and knee high black socks with dress shoes? Well it turns out they are the owners of Bermuda Jam Factory. They are sporting what would be common fashion in Bermuda. Cajohn’s bus was nearly the last to leave the venue, we headed back to the hotel roof top bar.

Danny discovers the mystery shot is Rumpelminze

We didn’t stay out late enough to close the bar , but hung out long enought to meet Lynn Duck AKA Devil duck and received a sample bottle of his Nuclear Scurvy Sauce. I surprised both Buddah and Danny Cash with the mystery shot. “Just drink it”, I told them, “you will recognize it”! Rumpleminze, a different kinda burn! By now it was bedtime so we said are good byes. Back at the room we pre-ordered room service and then crashed!

To be cont……

1st Draft of the JJ’s Death Match poster. Actual waiver download still pending.

Sunday, March 2
9am-11am, trade only
11am-6pm, trade and general public

The light at the end of the tunnel is fast approaching. According to Dave Dewitt, they had record numbers through the doors yesterday and if that’s any indication of how busy it will get today - that line will be out past the parking lot - again! Last night was the annual dinner at El Pinto which led into a night of drinking at the roof top bar until they kicked us out at closing time. I might not get the chance to do an update again today as I’ll be running folks to the airport and trying to checkout - but I will get all the pics on Flickr when I get to a normal internet connection (won’t work here in the hotel). And also, if you have pictures that you want to share with everyone - just let me know and we’ll get them up and online.

Happy show day Sunday everyone!

Saturday, March 1
9am-11am, trade only
11am-7pm, trade and general public

Fiery Foods Show Dinner: El Pinto, 7:30p (no need to make reservations) - Directions via Google Maps

New Labels from Big Dawg

More pics and info to come later…

**UPDATE**
The crowds are in and the show is packed - wall to wall people. A few folks are going to head out to lunch and hit the chilehead shops in town while the masses of folks do their thing.