Before I get too far into the review I want to let everyone know what my experience with jerk sauce is. Walkerswood and the product I am reviewing right now. When I first tried walkerswood jerk seasoning it wasn’t really my favorite although I liked trying something new. I was excited to try this so that I could compare it to the walkerswood and get a better idea of whether or not I like jerk sauces. The label is not bad, but not really anything that makes me want to buy it either, and the sauce itself is a thick greenish brown color that looks almost gritty with all the spices in it (don’t worry its not). The smell was similar to the other jerk seasoning that I had which is sweet. Both in the smell and taste (straight from the bottle) the first thing I notice is the molasses (even though it’s only an ingredient in another ingredient and probably don’t have a lot in it), ginger, and brown sugar, it has almost a nutmeg type of flavor to it. All the ingredients are well blended and I actually really liked the flavor of it, but it’s not something that I would think to match up with chicken, or really anything. I guess the point is that it’s different and you have to be willing to try something new if you have never had a jerk seasoning before. The instructions say to marinade over night and then grill or cook as usual. I know that traditional jerk cooking is done by method of smoking so that’s what I did.

The chicken turned out great, I expected it to be dry having never smoked anything other than jerky but it wasn’t at all. The flavor on the chicken wasn’t very strong, I tasted mostly the smokiness and the Flaming Joes was more of a background flavor that gave it a little sweetness after every bite that was a lot better than if the chicken was just flavored with the seasoning alone. The next day (today) I decided to follow the directions on the bottle and cook chicken as usual. I got plenty of chicken when I marinated it for the smoker to do a couple pieces in the oven also, and even though they marinated a day longer than the first the flavor wasn’t powerful but it did taste like the jerk seasoning and nothing else, which is what I tasted straight from the bottle and thought “its good but I wouldn’t want it with chicken”. If you do decide to try this product do it the way it’s meant to be done and smoke it, it takes awhile (about an hour and a half) but it’s worth it. all in all I would give the sauce a 5/10 because it wasn’t so good that I will buy it again but I will definitely experiment with other jerk seasonings and similar products, it was better in my opinion than walkerswood which I have heard from so many people is the best of the best when it comes to jerk sauces. The heat on this one is mild, in the oven I couldn’t taste any heat at all, but the smoked pieces built up more towards the end, I don’t know why that is but it’s one more reason to smoke it rather than to bake it. One last thing that I am yet to try is putting it on some vegetables which are recommended on the bottle. When I tasted it straight and thought that it wouldn’t really be the best with chicken, vegetables are what I would of thought to put it on instead so that should turn out good. To finish out the review I want to note that even though I would only give the product I 5/10 that could just be because jerk seasoning aren’t my cup of tea. If you like jerk seasonings it is worth buying a bottle to judge for yourself.

Ingredients: key lime juice, soybean oil, soy sauce, green onion, Worcestershire sauce (vinegar, water, corn syrup, salt, molasses, carmel color, spices, garlic, natural flavorings, anchovies, tamarind, dextrin, and sulfating agents), ginger, habanero pepper, brown sugar, garlic, cilantro, chili powder, spices, xanthan gum, guar gum, sodium alginate.

Bottled by Taste Buds, llc Benton, AR 72015
www.flamingjoes.com

I’m a changed man.

A few months ago, after reading a review for Ass Murdering Hot Sauce, I posted a comment that said, “I refuse to buy anything, no matter how good it is, that mixes references to bodily functions with the food I’m going to eat”. Several like-minded chiliheads chimed in, but many others responded with comments that characterized me as a narrow-minded prude. DK (alias Gatorman) even called me an “anal snob”.

DK….you were right.

I might never have tasted that Ass-Murdering sauce, if not for a good-natured challenge lobbed at me by its maker, better known on the HSB as Turk. He sent me a “re-packaged” version of the same sauce, with a label designed for….well…anal snobs like me. He asserted that if I could just get past my hang-up with the theme on the label, I would see (and taste) what I was missing.

How could I say no when I saw the bottle? For the sample he sent me, Turk playfully re-named his product “Warm Fuzzy Thoughts” Hot Sauce, and created a label depicting a cute animal frolicking among the flowers.

I got the point, so I cracked it open. In an instant, Turk’s point was proven! I’m an ass man from now on. Go ahead! Bring on the sauces with labels making reference to “that region” of the anatomy. I still might hesitate to buy something that mentions certain afflictions of the ass, or the bodily systems attached thereto. I have my limits. But everything else is fair game, thanks to Turk, a guy who has a great sense of humor…and such incredible pride in his excellent products!

There have been two recent favorable reviews of Ass Murdering Hot Sauce (AMHS) on HSB, (INSERT LINKS TO REVIEWS HERE) so there is no need to repeat what was said. I concur with those reviews, with the exception that I find it plenty hot for my taste (which is a good thing!) and I can say unreservedly that I truly love this sauce! So, in appreciation for Turk not only opening my eyes to prejudices that a hot sauce reviewer should not have, but also to a damn good sauce, I offer the following recipe.

I didn’t think up this recipe until I had immersed myself in AMHS – tasting it straight from the bottle, putting it in soups, sauces, stews, putting it on cue, rice dishes, pasta, sandwiches; you name it! After several weeks of burning myself and thinking about the attributes of AMHS, I came up with a recipe so simple, it’s almost embarrassing… but wait till you taste it!

To make Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken, I first took chicken thighs and drumsticks and patted them dry with paper towels. AMHS has a great underlying garlic flavor, but before marinating, I just wanted to give the chicken an extra shot of garlic and a little salt, so I rubbed each piece with Adobo seasoning.

You can find Adobo seasoning in many different flavors, usually at your local Latin or Filipino grocery store, or in the spice or ethnic foods section of your supermarket. For this recipe, I just wanted the basic Adobo. Give the pieces a good coating and let them sit for a few minutes while you make the marinade.

Now here’s the ridiculously simple recipe. Remember, AMHS has a lot going on. It’s piquant from the mustard and plenty hot from the peppers. I didn’t want to mask any of its qualities; just provide a medium for helping it do the best possible job on the chicken that I was going to grill later. So, it’s one part AMHS and one part SOUR CREAM. That’s it.

A whole bottle of AMHS and a half pint (1 cup) of Sour Cream (Oh, Important! Use whole Sour Cream, NOT low-fat or non-fat) will coat 8 pieces of chix just fine. And the only other thing you might want to add would be a few dozen whole black peppercorns and/ or some crushed dried red chiles, as shown here:

Marinating time: This batch marinated for two hours and the flavor was great. But I think the best time range for this to really do its job would be 6 to 8 hours.

Grilling heat: Pretty hot. This a Tandoori style grilling method, meaning that the meat is supposed to cook more quickly at high heat, leaving it nicely cooked (not too burnt) on the outside and incredibly tender and moist on the inside.

Why Sour Cream? The addition of a dairy product to marinades is used extensively in places like India and the Middle East. I theorize that it is for three reasons; first, there are enzymes in dairy that seem to help tenderize meat. Second, dairy imparts a rich flavor to the marinade. After you mix AMHS with the sour cream, take a whiff and you will see what I mean. Heavenly! (Quite honestly, before throwing the chix in the marinade, I was tempted to dip some potato chips in it!) Third, it seems to protect the meat from drying out while it’s grilling. Here is the finished product sitting by a few of my newly-planted peppers; Cubanelles on the left, Habs on the right.

I loved this Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken so much, I can’t wait to try the same marinade on…well…almost everything! Using the same method of rubbing with Adobo, then marinating, I believe it’s going to be a home run on wings, pork loin, pork tenderloin, pork ribs, tiger shrimp, firm grilling fish like Swordfish or Rockfish, loin lamb chops and rack of lamb. Chiliheads, order a mess of this stuff for your summer grilling, not to mention that it’s a great condiment for burgers, dogs, cue, etc..

So, my friends, not to belabor the moral of the story, but I was guilty as charged of not opening my mind to certain sauces because of my personal dislike for crass labels. I admit it - I’ve been an ass! DK and others, good on ya for putting me in my place. I deserved that kick in the ass. Turk, your passion for peppers and sauce-making is an inspiration.

Additional information and ordering instructions at www.bisummo.com

Old world red chile, this thick and rich sauce is the best enchilada sauce made today. We guarantee you will join the thousands of red chile addicts who already testify to the flavor and quality.

A find from the Fiery Foods Show - this red enchilada sauce was not the only sauce of the New Mexico Chile Company that I picked up, but it is the first one we’ve put to use. I specifically bought this sauce with Laura in mind, as she loves enchiladas and the folks in the booth were very friendly and even suggested quite a few ways to try it out.

The sauce itself is all New Mexico Red Chiles - it’s very traditional in appearance and very thin as an enchilada sauce should be. Laura was already done making the enchiladas by the time I got home, but the lid shot does give you a good idea of the character of the sauce.

Nothing fancy about these enchiladas except the sauce - and that’s the entire point. This sauce is the type of sauce that you cook a dish around - not one of those that you add to a dish. The heat is minimal - it’s more of a tickle then anything else, but the flavor is extraordinary. It takes me back to NM and reminds me of all the great meals I’ve had while there.

The homemade taste of this sauce really makes it stand out - it’s not your average canned sauce and will make any dish stand out amongst the crowd.

We used the entire jar for one dish (albeit a large one) of enchiladas and I’ve already re-ordered myself some more. It’s a great sauce to have on hand when you need to throw a quick dinner together for the family or even whip up a fancy dish for the in-laws. When you get yourself some, make sure to pick up the green chile sauce as well - it’s equally delicious!

New Mexico Chile Company™
5555 Zuni RD SE 20-109
Albuquerque NM 87108
info@coyotechile.com

Dumb and Dumber hot sauce

First impressions: My first impression of this sauce from looking at the sauce, looking at the label, and looking at the ingredients was that it was just another generic cayenne type sauce with way to much vinegar in it because the manufacturer wants to make more sauce for cheaper. I don’t have a problem with these types of sauces because I do really like vinegary sauce if I’m in the mood for it, the only problem is there are so many that are all the same thing all made as cheap as possible so they can try to sell them with a novelty label. The sauce itself is light red and basically looks like a watered down version of a cayenne sauce, where you would normally find a brief description of the sauce trying to convince you that its something you will like this bottle instead has a brief description for the novelty label. the only positive that I got in the first impression is that the first ingredient is habanero peppers rather than cayenne peppers.

First taste: I opened it up and was pleasantly surprised by the smell, garlic and vinegar. I meant to take a small swig from the bottle but underestimated how watery this stuff is and got a mouthful. Same as the smell garlic first then vinegar and with so much of it in my mouth at once I can say it was a little too salty but latter when I put it on my food that wasn’t an issue. this sauce was basically what I was expecting except for the garlic, yea I read it in the ingredients but was still surprised by how garlicky it was and how there was actually enough garlic in it to stand its ground next to the vinegar. I love garlic and it really makes the difference that turns an otherwise generic vinegar type of sauce into something wonderful and unique. Time to make dinner.

Dinner: as I was taking that first sip that turned into a mouthful and savoring the flavor trying to analyze every ingredient in this simple sauce my wife was making a snack, English muffin cut in half with a slice of tomato, fresh green and purple basil from my aero garden, and a slice of pepper jack cheese toasted in the toaster oven. I told her I didn’t want any but as it was toasting and the fresh basil hit my nose I couldn’t help but think how great this sauce would be on it. I made some up and it was fantastic, garlic and basil and cheese with a vinegary tanginess, damn it was good. and even with all the other great meals I made with this sauce it was definitely the best use of it, unfortunately I didn’t take pictures so I got some hungry howys thin crust mushroom pizza for the actual review pictures and if you prefer vinegar based sauces on your pizza this is about as good as your going to find. It’s not my favorite sauce for pizza but it could be my favorite sauce of this type for pizza. All in all I was really impressed with it.

Ingredients: habanero peppers, distilled vinegar, garlic, salt, and vegetable gum.

Distributed by www.risquehotsauce.com (that’s it for manufacturer info on the bottle) and if you go to the site like I tried to do for research you will see that it has nothing. It must of closed down or something. I did a quick search for dumb and dumber hot sauce and found nothing, just a few links to pages that have something to do with the movie and a link to a youtube video of someone putting hot sauce in his eye. Good luck finding this stuff, but if you do pick a bottle up because its worth trying.

Appearance/marketing: 2/10 I never would of bought this stuff in the store unless it was on a clearance rack or something. I think that if the same sauce was sold with a little more serious approach it would do better, even if it’s the same label but just has a description of the sauce on it instead of the explanation of the label. I don’t think anyone would expect the garlic level in this sauce and just mentioning that would let me know that its got something to make it stand out from the category of sauce that it is in.

Taste: 7.9/10 the vinegar, garlic and habanero’s where all balanced perfectly. I really enjoyed this sauce.

Heat level: mild. It does build a little more than I expected because of the habenero’s, but for a habanero sauce its really not that hot.

Overall: 7.5/10

Doctor Craigs Cajun Hot Sauce

Ingredients: Rice vinegar, Habanero pepper, Pineapple, onion, Garlic, Natural liquid smoke flavor, Brown sugar, Cornstarch, Cayenne pepper, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate to extend freshness.

Smell: smells like a Cajun sauce, but with a twist. I can definitely smell the natural liquid smoke flavoring, and the pineapple. That give it that twist.

Taste: the main flavors in this sauce are the smoke flavoring and the pineapple, with the Cajun as a background flavor. By Cajun I mean the little bit of vinegar and the cayenne peppers that make the traditional Cajun sauce. This sauce also has habanero’s and they give it an extra kick. It is defiantly not your average Cajun sauce; in fact the differences are almost enough to not even consider it a Cajun sauce at all. It is really good though. Even though it is really sweet and I don’t like sweet I loved this sauce.

Meal: the first thing I tried this on was an egg and it was a great match, I fried it so that there was just a few drops of runny yolk left and then let the sauce mix with the yolk while I was eating it. the first thing I noticed was the smoked flavor and then the little bit of sweetness, with a little bit of heat that didn’t really build enough to notice until I was taking the last few bites. Because of the liquid smoke flavor to it I decided to try it on a burger. Liquid smoke is something I haven’t used in a while but my father used to put it on burgers and jerky so that’s why I thought the sauce would be a good match on a burger plus I had been day dreaming about a burger with chopped scotch bonnets and bacon in it for a while.

The first picture there shows 10 good sized, fresh from my garden scotch bonnet peppers, bacon in the middle, and a pound of hamburger. The second picture shows everything mixed together and made into 2 burgers, the larger of the two is the one I am using this sauce on, the other ended up being a hell no burger. After mixing everything together I cooked the burgers on the grill. I had my hart set on a onion bun that I purchased a package of the night before, but when I went to get it out I noticed they where moldy, and not just a little bit either I don’t know how I missed it when I bought them but I wasn’t going to have one. Instead I took two pieces of bread, and buttered and garlic salted one side of each the way I would make garlic bread. I cooked the one side the same way I do garlic bread also which is just on a pan until it starts to brown. Putting the garlic sides in the middle so my hands where touching the regular side I constructed my burger with a piece of cheese and some doctor craigs Cajun xtra hot sauce. I almost forgot the picture but remembered after a couple bites.

This picture is just to show how thick this burger is, it really was a large burger. The bacon and scotch bonnets gave it a really good flavor and added a good amount of heat to it on top of the sauce, I ate the rest of the bottle of sauce before writing this though so that I can accurately describe the flavor and heat level of it.

Buying info:
MFD. By Bobbees bottling
Louisburg, NC. 27549
www.doctorcraigs.com

Flavor: 8/10

Heat: 2.9/10 its not really hot, but its hotter than most Cajun sauces you just have to let it build a little.

Smell: 8/10 there is nothing that really stood out more in the smell or taste of this sauce.

Price: The website is still under a lot of construction, but they do have it set up to buy some sauce, the price is decent and includes shipping in it, but the only thing is you have to buy 2 bottles in order to place an order. I see why they do that, the price of shipping is included and it’s cheaper per bottle to ship two.
I always buy a couple bottles to make the most of shipping myself, but overall I think it might hurt there sales. If it’s a sauce you have never tried why buy 2 bottles? They do have another type of sauce also so you can get one of each but id recommend getting 2 of these if though.

Overall: 9/10

Review: Goonie Nick is back with CaJohn’s Jolokia Select!

Limited Edition Jolokia Select

Background: It has been roughly 10 months since I have written my last review for the HSB. I just want to begin by saying that HSB is the greatest chili blog site around with the world’s greatest chili heads! I do belong to other blogs in the genres of movies, weather and science but none of these compare to the HSB. The HSB is composed of a great community of companies, individuals, fans, manufacturers, and hobbyists. While I have been inactive in terms of my reviews and comments, I have followed HSB religously every single day!

So what brought me back to becoming active after 10 months? One evening I was browsing ebay and I decided to purchase CaJohn’s Jolokia Select Puree. With this purchase came all the memories of the anticipation, curiousity, and excitement of posting reviews on the HSB. I simply had to try this product and be able to share my feelings with the rest of the hot sauce community.

In the past year I have tried a few products with the Naga Jolokia and felt that the heat levels weren’t quite were it ought to be for a pepper receiving a SHU rating of around 1 million. I have tried CaJohn’s Sauce 10 and Nagasoreass, Danny Cash’s Naga Sabi Bomb, Montego Bay’s Hell’s Inferno, and pepper pods from Mexico Institute. While all these products were great in quality and taste I didn’t feel they were hotter than some of the hottest natural sauces on the market.

I feel that in terms of pure heat for a natural sauce the top 3 are CaJohn’s Habanero Select, Fatalii Select, and CaJohn’s No Naga Sauce 10. (Not in any exact order) (No Naga Sauce 10 went on to become a manufactured product titled, “Scorch”. CaJohn informed me that I did play a significant role in his decision. I stated in my reviews of Sauce 10 and No Naga Sauce 10, that I honestly felt that No Naga Sauce 10 (Red Savina, Fatalii, and the Orange Habaneo) was actually hotter than Sauce 10 (Red Savina, Fatalii, Orange Habanero and Jolokia.) However, it is important to note that those products did contain other ingredients in them, than the jolokia, which makes it impossible to give a fair assessment of the heat level of the jolokia, in sauce form. With this being said, here I am back at what I enjoy doing!

Label: A white label with orange trim is wrapped around a traditional 5 oz. bottle. On the front of the label is a flame with JOLOKIA below it. To the right of the front label is CaJohn’s company address. To the left of the front of the label is Jolokia Select Puree, Warning Extreme Heat!!!, World’s Hottest Chile! The label is very similar to other limited edition or trial runs of CaJohn’s sauces.

Ingredients: Jolokia Chiles, Vinegar

Appearance: The sauce is close to a 50-50 mix of orange and brown in terms of color. I am able to see what might appear to be as other ingredients such as garlic, onion, black pepper, etc. However, this is not the case because this sauce was created from reconstituting dried Jolokia chilies and vinegar. The ratio is 80% pepper and 20% vinegar which is the recipe CaJohn uses for all his Select Purees! I remember conversing with CaJohn a few months ago where he informed me that the process of this sauce would take time as he was waiting for the Jolokia chiles directly from the source itself, India.

Odor: After opening the cap and taking a smell of the sauce I was actually very pleased. This sauce smells great! The sauce has a very similar fruity smell to the dried pods that I have had. It is not as fruity, due to some vinegar, but nevertheless still very fruity. I gave this sauce to a friend of mine, who has never had hot sauces and told them to compare Jolokia Select to Jolokia Pods and they responded, “That it is just about the same.” If I had to be held at gunpoint and compare it to another habanero, in terms of odor, I would say it resembles the chocolate habanero somewhat. However, the chocolate habanero has more of a BBQ rich and deep odor as compared to the fruity odor of the Jolokia.

Taste: I figured that pizza would be perfect for this sauce. In my past reviews I have always stated that if a hot sauce is good on pizza, then hell it should be good on just about any other type of food. After I tried this hot sauce I was actually pleased with what I encountered. The sauce did not take away from the pizza at all and it wasn’t a typical habanero flavor that one would expect from a hot sauce or a puree. The sauce had a similiar taste to what one would expect based on having any experience with the aroma. The taste was really unique and enjoyable making you want more. However, I have to say that that taste was a little weaker than the aroma, which was perfect since you still were able to taste the flavors of the cheese and tomato sauce. What I like about this pepper is that it doesn’t simply taste like a standard puree. This conclusion leads me to state that I will be using this on wings, pizza, tacos, stir-fries, etc. I might even add a little to some soups because I really think that the hot broth might bring out the flavors of this pepper a little more than what it has straight out of the bottle.

Heat: The heat was definitely the category that I was most interested in when coming across this hot sauce from CaJohn. After having the 1st slice I really didn’t feel the heat that much as compared to some of the other hot sauces out there that are natural but very hot. However, I definitely did recognize that there was a good amount of heat here. I had a phone call and had to wait 10 mins before I could get my next slice. Before doing that I did feel the heat kick in. With his sauce it is different from many others in that you don’t get the straight up blast which means good things for the ones that like to enjoy their food before sweating. After the second slice I did begin to bead up with some sweat above my brow. I was impressed with this because from the pics you can see that I definitely didn’t use as much sauce as you might expect from my past reviews. After my third slice I did begin to feel the high that hot sauce can provide. I was sweating and it was definitely just as hot as the hottest natural sauces that I have tried. In the end, this sauce was able to play games with my mind in making me sweat but then feeling cold afterwards. The amount I had to use to get this feeling was half of what I had to use in the past with the other hottest natural sauces I have tried. CaJohn’s Jolokia Select is the hottest natural sauce out there!

Packaging 9/10
Aroma 10/10
Taste 9.5/10
Appearance 9.5/10
Heat 10/10

Overall 9.5

In the past, I would have never thought that I’d be thinking about Marie Sharp’s and Blair’s hot sauces in the same train of thought but as of Saturday, my list of favorite hot sauces just got turned upside down. The package arrived on Friday and I had Laura bring it to me when she picked me up for my birthday dinner, but I forgot the bottle in the car and had to wait until the following day to try it out. Which turned out to be even better because we decided to cook up some tacos for the group. We went to the market early on Saturday and I got some chicken which I promptly threw into some Pilarcita’s marinade - a few hours (and beers) later, the chicken was ready for the grill and we had the taco bar fully stocked.

Ingredients: Habanero Chili Pods, Naga Jolokia, Vinegar, Hawaiin Red Salt. (typo on the label with the spelling of Hawaiian)

I cracked open the bottle and took a big whiff - pure peppery goodness. My mouth started to water at just the scent of the sauce and I eagerly poured some on my unsuspecting taco. Consistency - combined with the pure pepper flavor, the consistency of this sauce really reminds me of a good bottle of Marie Sharp’s - but with better flavor. I’ve always regarded Marie Sharp’s as my go to habanero hot sauce (for the basics) but now, I can’t fathom using Maries when I’ve got a bottle of Pure Death around.

It’s thick enough to hold a point

Heat wise - it’s not that hot when you compare it to the likes of After Death, Mega Death ect… but it’s got a good notch of fire power. The habaneros get you straight away and set the stage for the building heat of the Nagas - about 3-4 bites into your food and you’ll start to sweat and your eyes will being to water. No hiccup alarms here - just a nice heady burn with a good bit of afterburn. I’ve already killed 1/2 the bottle and in writing this, I’m staring at the remaining bottle and pondering it’s lunch time application uses.

I would highly recommend this sauce to any chilihead (new or old) and to the HSB regulars, I recommend you buy it by the case.

Gardner Resources, INC.
Highlands, NJ 07732
www.extremefood.com

CrackerHouse - Pepper Sauce - MEDIUM

Back in December, I did a review of the CrackerHouse Fire Pepper Sauce. You can check this out here… This time, the MEDIUM version of the sauce was up on deck. The FIRE version of this sauce was an extract sauce, yet nowhere near an extreme heat hot sauce. In fact, the small amount of extract that was in the hot sauce, was very well buried. Appearing at darn near the end of the ingredient list, it was one of the first extract sauces that I have had, that didn’t detract from the flavors in the sauce due to the use of extract. I thoroughly enjoyed the sauce and damn near killed the entire bottle during one meal. So essentially we have the same exact sauce, minus the extract. I know I’m going to like the fresh flavor of this sauce before I even try it. My only pitfall with these sauces are the use of HFCS and CS, personally I avoid any and all foods that contain these ingredients. But alas this is one of the pitfalls of reviewing hot sauces. J No complaints here folks!http://crackerhousesauces.com/

CrackerHouse Sauces - Simple & Fresh

CrackerHouse Sauces are a masterful blend of Florida Datil peppers and Jalapeno peppers along with other fresh vegetables. We currently offer a Datil Pepper Sauce (medium), a Datil Hot Sauce (fire), a Datil Honey Mustard (mild) and both a mild and hot Datil Wing Sauce.
CrackerHouse sauces are great on any food; try the sauces on anything! Your taste buds will love you for it!

Being that I am in ultra lazy mood, I have decided that this hot sauce would be perfect for plain pizza. Since I know it’s going to have a nice sweet/fresh taste to it, why bust my ass cooking up something. Leftover pizza it is!

First impression: With scant differences between the FIRE and MEDIUM, the bottles are nearly identical, almost the same label. Two differences I notice are the white shrink wrap on the MEDIUM and the red shrink wrap on the FIRE. The obvious FIRE (with flames) or MEDIUM right below the CrackerHouse logo differentiates the two. The ingredients are also exactly the same as the FIRE sauce. The only difference is that this version lacks the capsaicin oleoresin.

Ingredients: tomato concentrate made from red ripe tomatoes, fresh red & green tomatoes, sugar, fresh onions, distilled vinegar, green bell peppers, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, fresh Datil & Jalapeño peppers, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, garlic, salt, spice, black pepper, onion powder & natural flavorings.

Appearance/Smell/Taste: The smell of the MEDIUM is pretty much the same as the FIRE. It starts off with a sweet tomato smell. Then there is the slight waft of the vinegar. This is what attracts me to this sauce, the very fresh/sweet flavor. Although it’s almost to the point where it’s too sweet for me, but it’s safely right on the very edge of this line to where I can use this sauce, lots of it! Appearance wise the MEDIUM sauce is kind of loose with chunks and bits of onion, pepper seeds, and pepper flesh. There is a nice mixture of spices in there for good measure. Nice tomato flavor with the sweetness of the onions and the HFCS.

Prepared meal: Leftover plain pizza. Even when I reheat my pizza, I like to use the pizza stone. It helps the crust stay nice and crispy, but not get overcooked and rubbery. I don’t know about you, but back in the day when I still used a microwave, I wouldn’t microwave pizza. Rubbery pizza just isn’t my thing. And sometimes I prefer reheated pizza stone pizza. This I know will be a perfect use for this sauce. Slathering up my first slice of pizza I dive right in! The fresh onion, pepper, and tomato flavor are awesome on pizza! The tomato concentrate meshes well with the pizza sauce. I then go on to kill another 2 slices with this sauce, lots of it too!

Complement to meal: Pizza is a great use for this sauce. All the fresh flavors go very well with plain pizza. Although any kind of pizza would be totally ramped up with this sauce. The heat although is very low, especially if you are a chile-head and like it hot. This sauce is roughly a 3 on the HSB heat scale and lowers to about a 2 once it’s applied to something cheesy like pizza. As you can see I used a good deal of this sauce on 3 slices of pizza. Nearly 2/3rds of the bottles was consumed, and no chile-heads were injured in the making of this review! Check this sauce out if you want something sweet, sassy, and mild! -Lars-

Initial impression: 8/10
Ingredient quality/content: 6/10
Flavor/textue/smell: 9/10
Heat: 3/10
Overall: 6.5/10

First Impressions: Oddly reminiscent of an R.L. Stein Goosebumps book cover, particularly The Werewolf of Fever Swamp (#14) or You Can’t Scare Me (#15), Louisiana Swamp Scum’s label is campy and intriguing in the same way that the series of children’s horror novels used to be (I have since graduated to Fear Street). The sauce looks almost black, not to mention disgusting, but it’s totally supposed to look that way…its swamp scum!

Swamp Scum was clearly designed to look like something that had been dredged from the murky depths of the bayou. What worries me here is that I think they may have decided to call it Swamp Scum before creating the sauce, and then just pumped a bunch of food coloring into the product to fit a pre-conceived theme… Alright, really what I’m trying to say is that if the sauce purposely looks gross for the sake of its name, then it better be really freaking good for the sake of everyone!

Ingredients: Peppers, Vinegar, Salt, Molasses, Natural Flavoring, Caramel Color

Smell: I can’t say I’m crazy about the smell. It smells very smoky, which is weird because there is no mention of liquid smoke or smoked anything in the ingredients. Maybe some of the ambiguous “peppers” were chipotles, or maybe they put the sauce in a smoker for a while. Perhaps it’s not smoke, but there is a very strong, kind of sweet smell in there that isn’t all that appealing. I also detect vinegar and some slight heat.

Appearance: While it is appears a brown to black color inside the bottle, dribbled onto a plate Swamp Scum is a dark forest green. Thin it out a little bit and it the color of algae…hey, like in a swamp! The sauce is completely liquid but travels slower than water. There are no chunks or texture, but miniscule specks of red and green are visible under closer inspection.

Taste: Hmm…I don’t know about this one. Something overtakes my tongue right off the bat, still don’t know what, but I still think smoke flavor. I’m not opposed to smokiness, but whatever that is, there is way too much of it, and it tastes incredibly artificial. I always thought food coloring was flavorless…could this be what I’m troubled by? It might be too much molasses, as there is also a dull, misguided sweetness that blankets the palate. If not for these issues, I think this would be a rather traditional vinegar based cayenne sauce, akin to Frank’s, Pawleys Island Sunburn, Louisiana Supreme, etc.

Heat: The heat is mild. I’m feeling it a little in the back of my mouth and not anywhere else. I’d imagine real swamp scum isn’t too hot either.

Overall: I don’t like it. I am but one man. At least one of my roommates does like it. I think he said he likes using it as a utility sauce for dishes that require just a little heat and some sweetness. I decided to give it two fair shakes of a lamb’s tail on lamb burgers topped with bleu cheese. I chose this meal for two reasons. First, lamb is a meat that, like this sauce, was always inexplicably smoky to me. Also, I figured the pungent bleu cheese would cover up a good deal of the less flattering qualities of this sauce, but not subdue the mild heat. Both me and my luncheon companion thoroughly enjoyed our burgers and agreed that the sauce was an appropriate and agreeable accompaniment…so who knows, you might find some things you could really enjoy it on.

First Impressions: The front of the label seems ever-so-subtly psychedelic to me: there is some kind of desert scene appearing through a peripheral maze of wood-colored smoke. On the back, we see another image of a man, presumably Benito, sitting in a lawn chair in a river, feet submerged in the water. I want to imagine that this product was the result of a vision quest of some kind, inspired by the “Delectable Addiction” to hot sauce touted on the bottom of the label. 100% Organic. I am reminded of my first experience with an all organic “naranja” sauce, my first review actually, which didn’t go so well. This seems to have kept its color a lot better than the Mayanik did. It is bottled and served at a place in Caldwell, NJ called the Laughing Burrito. East Coast baby! I hope it represents my region well.

Ingredients: Orange habanero peppers, onions, carrots, garlic, tomatoes, bell peppers, distilled white vinegar, lime juice, extra virgin olive oil, spring water

Appearance: Woah…first I have to report on something that’s never happened before! The shit blew up on me! I opened it and all this pressure, along with all this sauce, busted out! And then I put it by the sink, where it proceeded to foam out of the bottle for a good 2-3 minutes! Is this even safe? Weird. Anyway…it’s very, very orange, light orange, almost neon, probably more a credit to the carrots than the habaneros. It’s a little chunkier than it looked in the bottle. I’ve said this about another sauce, but I’ll say it again, it looks a lot like a squash soup that one might make for a fall harvest dinner.

Smell: Benito’s smells extremely fresh, like if you were walking through someone’s vegetable garden when everything was starting to ripen. The bell peppers, the tomatoes, and the onions are all quite discernable. And earthy carrot smell is also present, as is a hint of garlic.

Taste: This sauce is fun because you can really identify the individual components one after another when you place it on your tongue. I always thought of carrots as more of a filler and coloring agent, but in this sauce they really shine. As with the smelling, the other vegetables are potent and fresh, and it’s held together with a citrus-infused acidity of lime juice and vinegar. The flavor is not unlike a fresh salsa. The garlic is there, but I would actually like a considerable amount more of it. It could also use something salty, like salt. It comes across as a bit watery, or perhaps “watered down” is a more accurate characterization. I don’t think it needs thickening though, just the aforementioned additions. I guess another way to solve this problem would be to pair the sauce with a dish that is already heavy on garlic, salt, or other spices. In that sense, Benito’s is the perfect burrito sauce.

Heat: The heat is on the lower end of medium. It’s mostly sticking to the back of my tongue. Nothing impressive, but I like that there are absolutely no heat claims on the bottle. This appeases the heat gods, as well as the picky reviewer. Nobody’s gonna have trouble with the heat in this sauce, but it’s a yummy kind of spice nonetheless; it works with the whole salsa vibe I’m getting.

Addendum: I used it as a salsa on tortilla chips last night and the heat was more intense. Still nothing crazy, but if I was to put it up against some mainstream, store-bought salsas, it would probably get a “hot” rating.

Overall: I’d buy it. It’s fresh, it’s colorful, it’s different, it’s from New Jersey. I would like an explanation of that little explosion in the beginning, or maybe that was just a literal testament to the figurative explosive potential of this sauce. Maybe this particular bottle has a mind of its own and knew that it was about to get reviewed on the HSB, and you know, just had to do something memorable. So I blasted some Benito’s on a homemade fried tilapia soft taco (sorry, not a Laughing Burrito), and it was an excellent accoutrement. This could turn into a delectable addiction, indeed.