I can relate. As a contact-wearing hot sauce maker, I constantly deal with the dreaded “did I wash my hands…?” right before the contacts come out. Now I have a box of latex gloves under the bathroom sink that I use. I also watched my brother shoot boiling hot habanero hot sauce right into his eye. It was funny as hell (to me) but he spent 40 minutes with his head under the sink.

I recently messed myself up pretty bad. I was making pizza, and was adding some hot sauce to the tomato sauce. I had Blair’s Mega Death. I had not yet tried it, and was unaware of the heat. So into a quarter-cup of tomato sauce, I added a good couple of teaspoons of Mega Death. A half hour later, I got two bits into my pizza when I started to feel the burn. And it got worse and worse. Being stubborn, I kept eating. Eventually, all the milk in the fridge couldn’t help, and I resorted to eating bread. But even that didn’t work, as the bread itself seemed to be sizzling. It took two days before I felt better. My insides were a wreck. But, lesson learned!

I like the part when I was making a chile sauce using dried chiles and while cleaning them, picked my nose. Which was funny, because the entire time my mantra was, “don’t pick your nose”. I just stood there with chilies in my hands, waiting for what I knew was coming. Just so you know, it’s really uncomfortable for an hour or more.

Biggles

While making a batch of hot sauce, right after blending and adding fire roasted habs to the mix, I realized I had to relieve myself. This resulted in a three hour episode of Chile Willy. Now I wash my hands BEFORE and after using the restroom!

yeah, I’ve cursed myself with the old ‘nose pick’ as well.

I’ve had a bad hot sauce story. In retrospect, it wasn’t the best of ideas, but my wife and I like to experiment. We both really love new foods and new flavors and like to try them out in various ways. One of the places we “play” with taste sensations is in the bedroom. We’ve had quite a bit of fun sampling syrups and preserves, even hot fudge (provided it wasn’t too hot), but we’d never ventured into spicy foods until last week. I have to say, it was an experience, but I wouldn’t recommend it. We’d just had a great BBQ meal with friends, and were on such a high from the evening that we got a little frisky in the kitchen afterwards while cleaning up. There we were, on the kitchen floor, when I noticed the bottle of Blairs hot sauce still sitting on the kitchen counter. Bells went off and I suggested we give it a try. As with all spicy foods, there is usually a delay between ingestion and when the heat actually hits your palate. Well, the situation was no different in our circumstances. At the beginning we were both loving the sensations, but then the peppers kicked in in an unexpected way. To make a long story short, I don’t think my wife’s twat will ever be the same. She literally had to sit in a tub of cool water for most of the night. The redness and irritation down there didn’t go away completely for a good few days. Me? I tried not to laugh, but since there wasn’t any permanent damage done, I have to say I found the situation a bit amusing. My wife and her twat might tell the story differently. Bottomline? Watch where and what you play with

a few years back i had several habanero plants growing in my backyard that yielded a bunch of really beautiful orange peppers. i was tending to them on a really hot day, and had picked one and broke it apart to check on the maturity, and then stupidly wiped the sweat off my brow and neck… a minute later it felt like my entire face and neck were engulfed in flames! wont make that mistake again!

Woo… my best story doesn’t involve hot sauce per se, but I was making an omlette once, and was about to put a good-sized dash of cayenne pepper on it. I sprinkled it all over the omlette, and didn’t notice a great deal of it being wafted back up from the convection currents rising from the skillet. I leaned in to take a sniff of the food, and got a snoot full of cayenne pepper. That was seriously unpleasant for a good half hour.