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A GOOD KICK IN THE ASS

 


24
Posted May 9, 2008 by

 
Full Review
 
 

I’m a changed man.

A few months ago, after reading a review for Ass Murdering Hot Sauce, I posted a comment that said, “I refuse to buy anything, no matter how good it is, that mixes references to bodily functions with the food I’m going to eat”. Several like-minded chiliheads chimed in, but many others responded with comments that characterized me as a narrow-minded prude. DK (alias Gatorman) even called me an “anal snob”.

DK”¦.you were right.

I might never have tasted that Ass-Murdering sauce, if not for a good-natured challenge lobbed at me by its maker, better known on the HSB as Turk. He sent me a “re-packaged” version of the same sauce, with a label designed for”¦.well”¦anal snobs like me. He asserted that if I could just get past my hang-up with the theme on the label, I would see (and taste) what I was missing.

How could I say no when I saw the bottle? For the sample he sent me, Turk playfully re-named his product “Warm Fuzzy Thoughts” Hot Sauce, and created a label depicting a cute animal frolicking among the flowers.

I got the point, so I cracked it open. In an instant, Turk’s point was proven! I’m an ass man from now on. Go ahead! Bring on the sauces with labels making reference to “that region” of the anatomy. I still might hesitate to buy something that mentions certain afflictions of the ass, or the bodily systems attached thereto. I have my limits. But everything else is fair game, thanks to Turk, a guy who has a great sense of humor”¦and such incredible pride in his excellent products!

There have been two recent favorable reviews of Ass Murdering Hot Sauce (AMHS) on HSB,  so there is no need to repeat what was said. I concur with those reviews, with the exception that I find it plenty hot for my taste (which is a good thing!) and I can say unreservedly that I truly love this sauce! So, in appreciation for Turk not only opening my eyes to prejudices that a hot sauce reviewer should not have, but also to a damn good sauce, I offer the following recipe.

I didn’t think up this recipe until I had immersed myself in AMHS ““ tasting it straight from the bottle, putting it in soups, sauces, stews, putting it on cue, rice dishes, pasta, sandwiches; you name it! After several weeks of burning myself and thinking about the attributes of AMHS, I came up with a recipe so simple, it’s almost embarrassing”¦ but wait till you taste it!

To make Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken, I first took chicken thighs and drumsticks and patted them dry with paper towels. AMHS has a great underlying garlic flavor, but before marinating, I just wanted to give the chicken an extra shot of garlic and a little salt, so I rubbed each piece with Adobo seasoning.

You can find Adobo seasoning in many different flavors, usually at your local Latin or Filipino grocery store, or in the spice or ethnic foods section of your supermarket. For this recipe, I just wanted the basic Adobo. Give the pieces a good coating and let them sit for a few minutes while you make the marinade.

Now here’s the ridiculously simple recipe. Remember, AMHS has a lot going on. It’s piquant from the mustard and plenty hot from the peppers. I didn’t want to mask any of its qualities; just provide a medium for helping it do the best possible job on the chicken that I was going to grill later. So, it’s one part AMHS and one part SOUR CREAM. That’s it.

A whole bottle of AMHS and a half pint (1 cup) of Sour Cream (Oh, Important! Use whole Sour Cream, NOT low-fat or non-fat) will coat 8 pieces of chix just fine. And the only other thing you might want to add would be a few dozen whole black peppercorns and/ or some crushed dried red chiles, as shown here:

Marinating time: This batch marinated for two hours and the flavor was great. But I think the best time range for this to really do its job would be 6 to 8 hours.

Grilling heat: Pretty hot. This a Tandoori style grilling method, meaning that the meat is supposed to cook more quickly at high heat, leaving it nicely cooked (not too burnt) on the outside and incredibly tender and moist on the inside.

Why Sour Cream? The addition of a dairy product to marinades is used extensively in places like India and the Middle East. I theorize that it is for three reasons; first, there are enzymes in dairy that seem to help tenderize meat. Second, dairy imparts a rich flavor to the marinade. After you mix AMHS with the sour cream, take a whiff and you will see what I mean. Heavenly! (Quite honestly, before throwing the chix in the marinade, I was tempted to dip some potato chips in it!) Third, it seems to protect the meat from drying out while it’s grilling. Here is the finished product sitting by a few of my newly-planted peppers; Cubanelles on the left, Habs on the right.

I loved this Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken so much, I can’t wait to try the same marinade on”¦well”¦almost everything! Using the same method of rubbing with Adobo, then marinating, I believe it’s going to be a home run on wings, pork loin, pork tenderloin, pork ribs, tiger shrimp, firm grilling fish like Swordfish or Rockfish, loin lamb chops and rack of lamb. Chiliheads, order a mess of this stuff for your summer grilling, not to mention that it’s a great condiment for burgers, dogs, cue, etc..

So, my friends, not to belabor the moral of the story, but I was guilty as charged of not opening my mind to certain sauces because of my personal dislike for crass labels. I admit it – I’ve been an ass! DK and others, good on ya for putting me in my place. I deserved that kick in the ass. Turk, your passion for peppers and sauce-making is an inspiration.

Additional information and ordering instructions at www.bisummo.com


SteveM

 


24 Comments


  1.  
    DK

    Tandoori Chicken! Ok, you’re off the hook Steve! Mmm, looks delicious!

    Ok, I gotta take some time to read the whole thing, but the first part of it is cool. A 1/1 ass sauce! SWEET! I hope you opened the bottle with the regular label. 😀

    Gotta make one thing clear though Steve, the word “anal” in the snob statement was tongue-in-cheek (no pun intened). You say I was right, well, I was wrong, your no snob. Making a snobbish comment doesn’t make you a snob. Sorry bro.




  2.  
    Buddah

    Great review as always Steve. You have such a great sense of humor, that it is always a pleasure to read what you have to say.




  3.  
    SteveM

    [Comment ID #138462 Quote] I did open the bottle with the regular label – the first of many to come! Thx for letting me off the hook, buddy. Happy grilling! SM




  4.  
    Anthony

    Great review and the chicken looks amazing!

    Really have to get some of this stuff!




  5.  
    DK

    [Comment ID #138465 Quote]

    😀

    Hey Steve, try it plain and simple as is brushed directly on spare ribs on the grill. Good stuff.




  6.  

    Looks delicious Steve and simple is great in my book. Thanks for being such a great sport with an incredible sense of humor. We’re looking forward to trying this and, hopefully, many more recipes that you come up with using AMHS. Thanks again.




  7.  
    Gildo

    You’re making me hungry. As a side note…plain yogurt can be substituted for the sour cream. I make a few different dishes that use a plain yogurt marinate that is blended with some fresh garlic, cumin, lemon juice and kosher salt. Very simple but very good. The enzymes in the sour cream and yogurt are indeed excellent tenderizers.




  8.  
    Buddah

    Happy Birthday Turk! Nick and Steve gave you a nice surprise b-day gift without even knowing it.




  9.  

    It was a great surprize for my Birthday and I needed it with the day that I’ve been having. Thanks guys.




  10.  

    You are not alone. I too will not buy any sauce with bodily functions in the title, or fire coming out of non-mouth orifices. I also won’t buy bottles that are x-rated (other than for purely decorative reasons), or have similar “potty humor” in the title. My reasoning is that chances are good the sauce isn’t worth the money because they are relying on sophomoric humor rather than ingredients and that chances are people buy it for the label and not the sauce.

    But I’ll try this one, since it comes recommended…in future though hot sauce makers…remember that there are those (like me) who have this (possibly wrong) assumption. Just keep that in mind 😉




  11.  
    DK

    [Comment ID #138484 Quote]

    You know what they say about assumptions. 😉 😆

    Always look past the label on any sauce you buy. Look at the sauce itself. If it’s watery, red, lists three ingredients, then it probably just a generic sauce that’s used as a vehicle for a humorous label.

    But when you look at a bottle of AMHS, there’s definately something different there visually which to me warrants at least a closer look at the ingredients. Having a sense of humor along with a great product speaks worlds of the people behind the product. as far as labels go, I’ve seen plenty of products with purty fancy lookin’ labels on them that catch your eye immediately as a quality product, only to get home and find that there’s crap inside the bottle. So it can work both ways. Always base you purchasing decisions on multiple factors (label, ingredients, visual appeal of the sauce itself, recommendations), and you’ll get past any assumptions and make a more sound choice. Who knows, you may find that one treasure on the shelf that someone else overlooked.

    Works with collectibles too. If anyone ever saw a Blair’s Pre-AM sitting on a shelf covered with dust, and had no idea who Blair was, or what the Pre-Am was, do you think it would be bought based solely on visual appeal?

    Reminds me of some people that I know that say they would NEVER drive anything other than an American car, and they’re driving a Chevrolet made in Canada. LOL!!




  12.  

    [Comment ID #138484 Quote]

    Point well taken. I’m not sure if I made things easy on us or hard on us by slapping a novelty label on the sauce but we always had good intentions from day one. I’ve always kind of been the class clown and in fact, my Family created my screen name back when I was a young’in (TURKey Todd – Turk for short) so I’m the type of personality that really feeds on bringing a smile to a person’s face. The label accomplishes this narcistic need of mine for the most part but my O.C.D. (I have many flaws…some that work to my favor occasionally) wouldn’t allow me to put a product out there that I didn’t honestly feel that it was the best that it could be so a great tasting sauce was critical in my book. I do understand your point though that there are a lot of sauces out there that are just about the label. I hope you will try our sauce someday and we are always pushing to expand our list of great distributors like Jungle Jims so maybe we will be in your area soon.




  13.  
    Justin

    thats great. i felt the same way but a few of my recent bottles sent to me to review have changed my mind about judgeing them. sometimes (as with the dumb and dumber sauce) even looking at the ingredients is hard to tell that its good stuff inside and not just a generic type.




  14.  
    SteveM

    [Comment ID #138476 Quote] Gildo, thank you!!! I forgot to mention that exact point, in fact yogurt is more commonly used. Years ago, I shadowed an Indian chef for a few days and he used half yogurt and half cream cheese in his marinades.




  15.  
    Sam

    [Comment ID #138484 Quote]Hey Marissa, Great to see you posting on the HSB. I don’t have any objections to vulgar labels and jumped right into this sauce. I can usually tell from ingredients and consistency if it is going to be something I like. This stuff rocks. It is mustard for chileheads. You should ask Double DD Meats to carry it. I already put a bug in their ear about it, but I have suggested so many products to them, I don’t want to be a pest, but the more people that request it the more likely they will be to carry it.
    [Comment ID #138491 Quote] Turk keep doing what you do man. Obviously the Label didn’t hurt ’cause you have made a big impression on all the spicy blogs. Turk you should call Double DD as well (425) 778-7363 ask for Kim or Cindy




  16.  

    [Comment ID #138515 Quote]

    I’ll give them a call next week. Thanks Sam.




  17.  

    Looks delicious! I’m definitely going to have to pick up a bottle of AMHS after that review. Also, don’t forget Buttermilk – a classic southern chicken tenderizer.




  18.  
    SteveM

    [Comment ID #138600 Quote]
    Roger that. And don’t forget the universal Southern “human tenderizer” – bourbon!




  19.  

    Steve – We have your recipe marinating and we’re planning on grilling tonight. Can you provide us with an appropriate temperature and time for grilling these jewels? Thanks.




  20.  
    SteveM

    [Comment ID #140041 Quote] Turk, you got me there. Hot fire – full flame, if gas, directly over the coals, if charcoal, until you get a good char (but not burn) on them, then move away from direct heat for the duration. Extinguish flare-ups with water.

    I’d say 20 minutes if you keep the cover on and it’s hot in there, but could be more or less depending on size of pieces.

    Use your grilling instincts.

    SM




  21.  

    [Comment ID #140075 Quote]

    Thanks Steve. I’m on it….grilling instincts…okay, I can do this….be the grill, be the grill. I’ll let you know tomorrow if my instuncts failed me. Thanks again.




  22.  
    Buddah

    I heard there was a fire in Florida, anyone hear from Turk since he started grilling?




  23.  

    [Comment ID #140088 Quote]

    I had a supervisor (the wife) watching my every move. She doesn’t seem to trust me around fire after I lit myself up that one time.




  24.  

    The chicken came out great Steve. Thanks for the awesome recipe!





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