The X-Factor
by Jim Bone

Hard Rock Cafe
Joe Perry, guitarist for Aerosmith, has another hot sauce on the market, Mango Peach Tango Hot Sauce. He says he has a passion for cooking. Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony also has a line of hot sauces. If and when these two rock-n-rollers decide to open restaurants to showcase their sauces, who would run the better place to eat and hang out.

Joe Perry vs. Michael Anthony

Pros

- Fresh seafood flown in daily aboard AERO-FORCE ONE.

- Free dessert if you can name one song by “The Joe Perry Project.” - - Nice commemorative guitar pick you can actually use as a toothpick.

Cons

- Don’t get there late. When it comes to the food, the earlier stuff is much better (just like the band’s music).

- When entering the restaurant, the annoying greeting you get when Steven Tyler’s recorded voice says: “ARE YOU READY TO EAT?!!”

- Joe refuses to take “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” out of the jukebox

Michael Anthony

Pros

-Each meal comes with a free shot of Jack Daniels.

-You might see David Lee Roth doing dishes.

-Waitresses are forced to wear leopard-skin spandex.

Cons

- Random 20 minute bass solos played over the sound system.

- Don’t even think about bringing brown M&Ms in with you.

- Can’t avoid overhearing two guys in the corner debating the whole Van Halen/Van Hagar argument.

the x factor-

I have to go with Michael Anthony on this one. Let’s be honest, Joe is too skinny to know what kind of food to serve up. People who open restaurants need a few extra pounds on them. It’s their way of saying “welcome to my restaurant, I love to eat too.”

The views expressed in X-Factor are that of 97.9 X air personality Jim Bone and not necessarily those of the Weekender or Knight Ridder newspapers.