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Posted July 30, 2007 by Creator in Makers
 
 

Jungle Jim’s Defcon Deathmatch


Defcon Death Match

All are free to join us at The Table of Virtue, and your chance to ascend to the rank of Supreme DEFCON Acolyte of The Inner Circle. The rules are quite simple, you must consume 10 cute and cuddly, harmless little wings, coated in a “special” DEFCON Deathmatch sauce, in 4 minutes. Nothing to it. But beware, as many have sat at The Table, but few have walked away with the bragging rights, and the special “DEFCON Deathmatch” t-shirt, which CANNOT be purchased, it must be earned. We have had about a dozen or so of these matches, and they have become somewhat of a cult following. The very first title of “Supreme DEFCON Acolyte of The Inner Circle” was granted to a fellow gentleman who drove all the way from Indiana to New Jersey to compete. Since then, only a select few have rivaled this feat. It is NOT for the faint of heart, and, oh yeah, asthmatics and those with any respiratory problems need not apply for participation, as they are banned from the contest altogether.Past events have been filled with many memorable moments, from people nearly passing out, to evacuations from the orifice of your choice, all the time being rooted on by countless fans, rivaling that of the Coliseum in Rome. Honor is at stake, for those who compete are given Honor by the DEFCON Collective, but also castigation by the newly-knighted Supreme DEFCON Acolyte, as he has gained the spoils of battle, and will rub it in your face endlessly if you do not succeed in besting him in battle.

Now, the event will be taking place Saturday evening, after the show at an eatery next to Jungle Jim’s. If you are interested in either competing or just to watch the carnage, just come to the DEFCON booth and inquire within. Contestants will be asked to sign up, so I can get a headcount.

So The DEFCON Creator welcomes you to The Table of Virtue, and wishes to see your ascension into the Hallowed Halls of the Supreme Acolytes.

Here are the simple rules:

1. Gloves MUST be worn for the duration of the event.

2. Contestants MUST sign Defcon Release Form.

3. Asthmatics and those with respiratory issues are NOT to compete!

4. 10 wings will be served and must be consumed within 4 minutes.

5. After the 5 minutes, contestants will be relieved of any refreshments.

6. Contestants will then place hands, palms down on the table for 5 minutes.

7. Lifting a hand or hands off the table will result in immediate disqualification.

8. If more than one contestant survives the duration, the contestant that consumed all the wings first wins.

9. ANY amount of vomiting will cause immediate disqualification, and the individual is responsible for cleaning it up.


Creator