Posted August 21, 2005 by Nick Lindauer in Hot Sauce News

Biggest BBQ blunders revealed

Saturday, 6th August 2005, 09:53
LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) – A busty babe made one of Britain’s biggest barbecue boobs – when her skimpy bikini top melted onto the grill lid.

The red-faced beach beauty had no choice but to reveal all to save her prize assets from being fried.

Her embarrassing dilemma was among Britain’s top ten barbecue blunders were described today (Friday) by the National BBQ Association.

Burnt bums, bungled bungee barbis, bursting Bolli and a python in a barbi are also among the summertime gaffs.

1. An Essex family BBQ nearly turned into pigeon pie when a homing pigeon landed on the grill lid, as the BBQ was gently smoking a brisket of beef at the time, the pigeon being overcome by the fumes fell onto the brisket and had to be quickly rescued with only a few ruffled feathers. Being animal lovers the family kindly drove the pigeon home to its owners in Nottingham. The pigeon hasn’t returned to say thanks.

2. A crowd of young lads in Manchester holding a BBQ party in a maisonette above a shop got slightly more than they bargained for when the grill which was standing on the patio over the shop door suddenly caught fire, burning a big hole in the roof of the Security shop below and setting off all the burglar and smoke alarms.

3. At a 40th birthday BBQ party in Milton Keynes several bottles of champagne which had been left in the freezer for too long were placed on the grill by some bright spark who decided that this was the quickest way to defrost the bottles. Unfortunately all six bottles exploded in quick succession, in a pretty fair rendition of the ‘canon roll’ in Tchaikovsky’s 1812 overture whilst at the same time covering the assembled guests in a mixture of Bollinger, ash and burgers!

4. At a beach barbi in Newquay a rather well endowed lady, wearing a somewhat revealing swimsuit, suddenly realised that when bending over the BBQ, the plastic straps of her bikini top had unfortunately melted onto the grill lid, leaving her no alternative but to bare all in order to prevent any lasting damage – a real boob if ever there was one!

5. A barbi stunt that went wrong was when a group of Bristol students decided to attempt the worlds first barbi bungee jump. The idea being that a burger would be grilled by a bungee jumper who would bounce up and down over a grill placed onboard a boat on the River Avon. Unfortunately the downward dive was mistimed with the bungee rope catching fire and the jumper, grill and boat owner ending up in the water. Luckily no one was hurt!

6. Getting somewhat ‘frisky alfresco’ one day after an exotic barbi a couple in Exeter while ‘fooling’ around, suddenly realised that they were being watched by their slightly prudish next door neighbours, whilst the woman grabbed the oily grill towel, the husband jumped straight back and sat on the grill, only to immediately jump high in the air providing his neighbours with a full view of his ‘burnt offerings!’

7. Fresh seafood is great on the grill, as long as it is properly prepared. A seafish lover in Scunthorpe bought a lobster that morning from the fishmongers to grill on the BBQ. Unfortunately he did not realise that it was still alive so when he went to place it on the grill, it promptly gripped his hand in its pincers and refused to let go. The mans friends were forced to pull the crustacean off, but not before they too felt the lobster’s pinch. It is not known whether the lobster was finally barbied or not!

8. At a village BBQ in Hampshire, a record number of hungry barbi fans turned up only to see that the hut in which the BBQ food and drink had been stored overnight suddenly catch fire as someone attempted to light the BBQ and inadvertently sprayed lighter fluid over the roof.

9. A similar calamity occurred in Cardiff where a couple hosting a BBQ party, were told to keep the smoke and noise down by their hostile neighbours. Unfortunately the man from next door was shouting over his fence at the time which then collapsed onto the grill, setting fire to both his fence and the dividing hedge.

10. The first BBQ of the season got of to a pretty scary start for an Hartlepool couple who having invited some friends round over Easter suddenly decided to have a BBQ and retrieving the grill from the garden shed where it had resided all winter and opening the lid suddenly found a hibernating python curled up inside the grill. Discretion being the better part of barbi valour they quickly closed the lid and called the RSPCA who swiftly came and removed the sleeping reptile returning it to the pet shop a few doors down. Not surprisingly this put the couple and their friends who were all avid BBQ’ers off the whole barbi idea for a while!

Brian George, of the National BBQ Association who has collected the gems from barbi fans this year, said: “Fortunately almost all had a happy ending.”


Nick Lindauer

The Original Hot Sauce Blog