Posted February 3, 2005 by Nick Lindauer in Hot Sauce News

Hot Sauce Newb

Today I got a message from a customer and I can’t tell if he was irate or in pain, probably both. The message was hard to understand at 7AM so I had the wife listen to it for me. She listened and promptly started busting up laughing. Apparently the customer had not paid attention to our online disclaimer that he agreed to when checking out AND he did not read the disclaimer that we send every customer who orders from us. The man was angry and in pain and had called to tell us just how much pain he was in. It seems he tried some 357 Mad Dog Collector’s Edition – 600,000 Scoville units. Not just some, but he marinated a chicken breast in it. Now, anyone who is familiar with this sauce knows just how deadly it can be if not properly handled. After cooking the chicken (I don’t know how the fumes didn’t make him pass out or at least think about how HOT it was going to be!) he promptly took a HUGE bite of what we are now going to call Death Chicken. About an hour later, he called us to complain about the pain WE had somehow caused him.
After cracking up for a good couple of minutes about the guys situation, I called his number and got his wife. I explained to her who I was, with a slight laughter, and asked to speak to her husband. She started laughing and then THANKED me for putting her husband in his place. Seems he has been a blow hard hot sauce braggart for years and the 357 Mad Dog Collector’s Edition brought him to his knees. When I finally got him on the phone, he apologized and said that next time he will read before eating.

Yes, in the hot sauce world, almost every hot sauce claims it’s the “hottest in the world”, but unless you really know the sauce and know yourself, always proceed with caution! But even those of us in the industry are not without fault. The wife did a similar brain dead move last week. A bottle of Anal Agony had come to us without a label, so we of course cannot sell it (bonus for me!) . The wife decided to open it, and mind you, she does not eat hot stuff at all (Tabasco Chipotle is her limit) and she promptly poured some on her finger and put it directly on her tongue. After hearing her scream from the kitchen, I ran in to find her scooping yogurt into her mouth with tears in her eyes. You see, Anal Agony is actually a very HOT sauce. It contains pepper extract and the heat is EXTREME. She wailed about the pain for about 30 mintues and then complained that her stomach hurt, which was due to the sudden consumption of a 1/2 gallon of yogurt. I got a good laugh out of it though.

I think I’ll try to re-create some Death Chicken this weekend.

Nick Lindauer

The Original Hot Sauce Blog