Posted May 17, 2005 by Nick Lindauer in Hot Sauce News

Jennifer Wilbanks Is Like A Bottle Of Hot Sauce

Funny stuff…

By Robert Paul Reyes
May 15, 2005

The proprietor of Pappy’s Peppers in Lawrenceville, Ga., is selling Jennifer’s High Tallin’ Hot Sauce, to commemorate Jennifer Wilbanks.

Let us count the ways in which Jennifer Wilbanks is like a bottle of hot sauce.

1. Hot sauce is not an entree, it’s a condiment. The media should not have obsessed over Jennifer Wilbanks; she’s not a serious news story like Iraq or the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. The only attention she deserves is snarky stories like this one.

2. Hot sauce is cheap, you can buy a bottle for less than a buck. Jennifer Wilbanks is cheap, instead of running away in a Lear jet to the Bahamas, she ran away in a bus to Las Vegas.

3. Hot sauce, is well: Hot!! Jennifer Wilbanks is hot to trot, she didn’t have the patience to wait until marriage to have sex with her born-again fiance, so she fled to Sin City.

4. Hot sauce will make your eyes open wide. Jennifer Wilbanks doesn’t need any hot sauce to open her eyes, they are always big as saucers.

5. Hot sauce is best served in tiny portions, pour too much hot sauce over your food and you will be making a run for the bathroom. Read too many articles about Jennifer Wilbanks and you will want to throw up.

Nick Lindauer

The Original Hot Sauce Blog