Posted July 28, 2006 by ChrisK in Hot Sauce News

Ode to Defcon Day

Once upon a time
In a small Jersey town
Was a hot wing contest
Dubbed the hottest around

It was brought together
By a madman you see
Who tortures his victims
Before he declares victory

A man dressed in black
Wears goggles and a respirator
Who has an evil chuckle
And is known as the Creator

The location was named
The Alley it would be
For the biggest Defcon Day
In history

The stage had been set
Now the people he’d need
So on to the blog
To plant the seed

Free wings and a contest
Are sure to grab the eye
Of many a blogger
Willing to try

The blog was abuzz
With all sorts of talk
Who would win the contests
And who would walk

As the talk grew louder
And smack was laid down
The contest now needed
To be the baddest around

What would he do
To insure this fate
And whittle it down
To one truly great

Alas a death match
Was born to decide
The winner of the talkers
That would make most men hide

It started at one…
Among other things
All free to sample
Were plenty of wings

As the time ticked on
More bloggers appeared
Some were calm
And some were geared

Wings and beer
And beer and wings
Two of most bloggers
Favorite things

People drank as they ate
And ate as they talked
All sharing their stories
Of the travels they walked

Some lived close
And some came from far away
All to take part
In the infamous day

Finally it was time
To get on with the show
Contest #1
And the excitement would grow

The contest was started
And the crowd all cheered
As plenty of hot wings
Soon disappeared

We had a winner
And Creator smiled with a grin
How come their was no hot sauce
dripping from his chin?

Contest #2 was started
And ended like #1
Some entered for the thrill
And some just for fun

As the time passed by
We all knew what was next
The deathmatch was ready
To put em to the test

A wavier was signed
By all that wanted in
Cause this was some shit
That was beyond most sins

The sauce was hot
A scorching .5
All that was needed
Was to stay alive

10 wings would be set out
For each man to eat
Then sit at the table
To sweat out the heat

Three entered the contest
Each one knew why
All had something to prove
But they kept that inside

Huvason, Mr Freeze
And the Big Show
All had the balls
To tell Creator “go”

They each downed some wings
Lickity split
Their tongues on fire
But they didn’t quit

Mr Freeze finished first
It was almost a tie
We needed a replay
Cause its quicker than the eye

Then it came time
To sit and sweat
They weren’t giving up
No, not yet

They all agreed
To stop it right there
It wouldn’t change the outcome
So they didn’t care

Mr Freeze was the winner
But not to sigh
Cause Huvason and Big Show
Can hold their heads high

The match was over
And so was the day
Fun was had by all
In their own special way

Thanks to Creator
For the spectacular show
And all those not there
Next time you should go