Review: Dr. Gonzo’s “Free Range” Jalapenomash

Tired of the same old, same old when it comes to condiments? Do you often forget what you ate at your last meal? Life is too short to be bland! Man bites hot dog… no news. Hot dog bites man… BIG NEWS!

Welcome to the Dr. GONZO’s world of Uncommon Condiments! The “Good Doctor” produces a line of all natural condiments with no fillers or preservatives (just what “Ma Nature” gives us), that can be used in a variety of applications.

So friend, what are you waiting for? Give your food a fighting chance to bite back with Dr. GONZO’s Uncommon Condiments!

My first taste of Dr. Gonzo’s peppermash products was the Free Range Jalapenomash – for some reason we decided to make guacamole and I forgot to buy jalapenos. So once we got home i had good reason to crack open the jar of jalapeno mash and give it a whirl.

Ingredients: Jalapeno Peppers, Onions, Garlic, Sugar, Vinegar, Lime Juice, Salt.

Smell: First whiff you get onions, the spice of the jalapenos and then some sweetness.

Appearance: Green and green. Nice even chunks of peppers and onions, some seeds mixed in. Salsa like consistency – very apropo.

Taste Test: Straight off the spoon this mash is going to be unlike any mash you’ve ever tried. The heat (albeit low) from the jalapenos hits first, followed by the flavor of the onions & garlic and then again, just like the smell, the sweetness of the sugar sweeps in and mellows the party out.

Wrestled from The Wild Pampas of Argentinia at great expense – just for your enjoyment
The Good Doctor.

Field Test: As I mentioned earlier, I first field tested the Free Range Jalapenomash in some guacamole. Because of the onions in the mash, I went easy on the onions in the guacamole (how to make guacamole). The mash added a good bit of heat to the guacamole but the sweetness was way different then any other guac experience I’ve had. The sugar in the mash brought out the flavor of the avocados and made the guacamole that much better. Try it out if you have the chance, it’s an experience worth repeating.

Conclusion: This mash is so good mixing it in something is just a waste. I finished off the jar by eating it straight off the chip like it was a salsa. Frankly, a little more heat and it could be a salsa. But as a mash, it’s a great addition to your fridge for those moments you need some extra pepper pep or when your just looking for an “uncommon condiment”. The heat level is around a 4 (see the HSB heat scale) but the flavor is a 10. I can’t wait to dig into the jar of “Professional Grade” Habeneromash

An Interview With the “Doctor”

Why did you initially make these products (Peppermash & Mustard)?
If I had found products like ours on the super market shelves I would have bought them. If you believe the premise that friends should not allow friends to drink bad beer, then you can understand our passion for quality condiments. I love honey mustard but the flavor has no “kick”, I love the heat of Chinese and German mustards but they lack flavor and constancy/texture. PEPPERMASH was the same; there was no product like it on the market, so I had to develop products for my family and friends to suit our needs.

How long did it take to develop the products?
Perfecting the Mustard Plaster recipe took close to 9 years. I want to thank my friends and family for being the subjects of these first experiments. It took a while to develop a recipe that produced consistent heat and texture. The PEPPERMASH recipe was a fluke and I was lucky to hit the basic mixture on the first try. My wife and I had been making and giving a way a home made salsa for ten years. Friends would place their orders at Christmas for August and September deliveries. But in 1995, there was a bumper crop of peppers coincided with a tomato blight that killed off most of our tomato crop. Our annual salsa production was cut from 15-20 gallons to 2.5 gallons and we had a lot of peppers that needed a good recipe. We were having a cook out that evening for some friends and I was looking to develop a condiment to put on grilled hamburgers, hot dogs and sausages. I placed a handful of this and that into a food processor and came up with what we now call PEPPERMASH.

How was the product first introduced to vendors and the public?
We gave away the Mustards, Salsas and PEPPERMASH for holiday and special occasions to friends, family and whomever liked it with no intention of going into business. But then, in the summer of 2001, the PEPPERMASH showed up at Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner (in my opinion, home of Worcester’s best burgers) as a special. Our good friends Pat and Brenda of Piggy Pat’s South Carolina BBQ of New Hartford, NY started serving it on a pulled pork sandwich with good results. At that point we realized that we had a product that folks really liked. Legally we could not continue to produce the product in our kitchen any longer and
therefore, started to look into developing a business plan and seeking a co-packer to produce our product.
They’re not just fer breakfast anymore!
-The Good Doctor

Who helps you in making the products?
Many people have made this project happen. My lovely wife Kathleen, and children Emily, Abigail, Parker, Sarah and Hannah. The great folks at the Western Massachusetts Food Processing Center, the “twins” Patty and Pricilla. The spectacular design work of Kadia Barenbuam. And, of course, all the great folks that love our products, they are the ones that created the initial “buzz” and groundswell of support that nudged us into production.

Why are some jars of PEPPERMASH different colors?
The Jalapeno and cherry peppers that we use for PEPPERMASH naturally range from read to green. We work hard to provide a consistent flavor, heat level and texture of PEPPERMASH and think that the different color variations are a bonus, be the first on your block to collect them all!

What is the company’s 5-year goal?
Become a local presence with a production facility that would be a benefit to our community. Control the rate of growth to maintain the product quality. Develop a profitable system that integrates production/distribution/web presence.

Who is your target audience?

Taste tests and surveys have shown that our initial hunch is correct, our target market is primarily the 24+-year-old male BUT, it is important to note that these same taste test surveys have shown that even folks that do not like the product would purchase the products and recommend them to their friends.
“That’s terrible! But, my kids would love it.” -Actual response

You have been making PEPPERMASH and Mustard Plaster for a few years now, have you tired of the taste?
This is a good question that can be answered with two words, “Definitely not!” I am constantly amazed at the different ways our customers are using our products and enjoy them on our table almost on a daily basis.

What other products are you developing?
For all those folks looking for a little more kick in their condiments arsenal, we are developing two new products to meet their needs: JALAPENOMASH (PEPPERMASH without the cherry peppers) and POWERMASH (PEPPERMASH with more than a delicate hint of cayenne). These new additions will soon be added to our PEPPERMASH line up. We will also be developing scheduled processes for mustard recipes with different consistencies and flavor combinations in the near future.

What is the shelf life of the products?

As long as they are stored in cool dry areas both the PEPPERMASH and Mustard Plaster are shelf stable. Once opened they need to be refrigerated to maintain their fresh nature. But really, you should be able to consume either jar in one sitting. Having trouble? Then invite a friend or two to join you! Now you don’t have to worry about that darn icebox!

Snail mail: P.O. Box 2201, Worcester, MA 01613-2201
E-mail us at www.drgonzospeppermash.com
Toll free HOT LINE: 866-DR GONZO (866-374-6696)

Nick Lindauer: The Original Hot Sauce Blog