Posted December 15, 2006 by Anthony in Reviews

Review: Santa’s Swollen Colon Hot Sauce

Santa's Swollen Colon Hot Sauce
“Too many cookies and milk I think, has left good ol’ Santa a bit in the pink. Keep an eye on him now, you better not blink, or all he will leave is a really big stink.”

Ugh. I really wanted to hate this. And truth be told I am sure this will be making its way into a pile of stockings come Christmas. Now the bad part about this is that it is going to get the recognition it doesn’t deserve, but and I stress strongly, BUT, if there is a good point, the sauce is not that bad. But very far from great. Borderline good is what it deserves. Now lets find out why.

You see, it is the same sauce I did a review for a few months ago. You may recall the “Don’t Piss me Off” Review. Exact same sauce, different label.

Habanero Peppers, Distilled Vinegar, Garlic, Salt and Vegetable Gum

And since that review I did, I still stick to what I say. The sauce won’t touch much more than pizza, a splash on wings or a dose on some Mac n’ Cheese. It’s heavy on the vinegar but doesn’t have a lethal vinegar bite. The heat is medium and the viscosity is very watery.

The novelty label on this was pretty ridiculous. Even after a few beers I still found it stupid. I just hate to see all the premium sauce that were passed up because this had a crappy holiday label. You would think this company would capitalize on an Easter Sauce and a D-Day sauce as well. I guess time will tell. This sauce is going to get a passing mark because it barely deserves it. But I hope more and more people are reading this and will realize that if you bought this you aren’t helping out the sauce maker that is striving for flavour perfection.

Maybe the makers of this sauce are reading this. I hope you are. You can only fool the general public for so long. Either ante up your novelty into something worthy or make a quality sauce instead of scooping out hab gruel to fill your pockets.

Packaging 2/10 ““ Rudolph would crap on it
Aroma 5/10 ““ Water, Vinegar, Habanero
Appearance 5/10 ““ Water, Vinegar Habanero
Taste 5.5/10 ““ Water, Vinegar, Habanero
Heat 5/10 ““ Santa won’t notice it

Overall 5.5/10 ““ Skip this for a stocking stuffer and get something of flavorful quality for your favourite chili-head

Made for:
(That is all the information the bottle had and the sites don’t work).