The X-Factor
by Jim Bone
Hard Rock Cafe
Joe Perry, guitarist for Aerosmith, has another hot sauce on the market, Mango Peach Tango Hot Sauce. He says he has a passion for cooking. Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony also has a line of hot sauces. If and when these two rock-n-rollers decide to open restaurants to showcase their sauces, who would run the better place to eat and hang out.
Joe Perry vs. Michael Anthony
Pros
– Fresh seafood flown in daily aboard AERO-FORCE ONE.
– Free dessert if you can name one song by “The Joe Perry Project.” – – Nice commemorative guitar pick you can actually use as a toothpick.
Cons
– Don’t get there late. When it comes to the food, the earlier stuff is much better (just like the band’s music).
– When entering the restaurant, the annoying greeting you get when Steven Tyler’s recorded voice says: “ARE YOU READY TO EAT?!!”
– Joe refuses to take “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” out of the jukebox
Michael Anthony
Pros
-Each meal comes with a free shot of Jack Daniels.
-You might see David Lee Roth doing dishes.
-Waitresses are forced to wear leopard-skin spandex.
Cons
– Random 20 minute bass solos played over the sound system.
– Don’t even think about bringing brown M&Ms in with you.
– Can’t avoid overhearing two guys in the corner debating the whole Van Halen/Van Hagar argument.
the x factor-
I have to go with Michael Anthony on this one. Let’s be honest, Joe is too skinny to know what kind of food to serve up. People who open restaurants need a few extra pounds on them. It’s their way of saying “welcome to my restaurant, I love to eat too.”
The views expressed in X-Factor are that of 97.9 X air personality Jim Bone and not necessarily those of the Weekender or Knight Ridder newspapers.