A GOOD KICK IN THE ASS

Posted May 9, 2008 by SteveM

Full Review

I’m a changed man.

A few months ago, after reading a review for Ass Murdering Hot Sauce, I posted a comment that said, “I refuse to buy anything, no matter how good it is, that mixes references to bodily functions with the food I’m going to eat”. Several like-minded chiliheads chimed in, but many others responded with comments that characterized me as a narrow-minded prude. DK (alias Gatorman) even called me an “anal snob”.

DK”¦.you were right.

I might never have tasted that Ass-Murdering sauce, if not for a good-natured challenge lobbed at me by its maker, better known on the HSB as Turk. He sent me a “re-packaged” version of the same sauce, with a label designed for”¦.well”¦anal snobs like me. He asserted that if I could just get past my hang-up with the theme on the label, I would see (and taste) what I was missing.

How could I say no when I saw the bottle? For the sample he sent me, Turk playfully re-named his product “Warm Fuzzy Thoughts” Hot Sauce, and created a label depicting a cute animal frolicking among the flowers.

I got the point, so I cracked it open. In an instant, Turk’s point was proven! I’m an ass man from now on. Go ahead! Bring on the sauces with labels making reference to “that region” of the anatomy. I still might hesitate to buy something that mentions certain afflictions of the ass, or the bodily systems attached thereto. I have my limits. But everything else is fair game, thanks to Turk, a guy who has a great sense of humor”¦and such incredible pride in his excellent products!

There have been two recent favorable reviews of Ass Murdering Hot Sauce (AMHS) on HSB, so there is no need to repeat what was said. I concur with those reviews, with the exception that I find it plenty hot for my taste (which is a good thing!) and I can say unreservedly that I truly love this sauce! So, in appreciation for Turk not only opening my eyes to prejudices that a hot sauce reviewer should not have, but also to a damn good sauce, I offer the following recipe.

I didn’t think up this recipe until I had immersed myself in AMHS ““ tasting it straight from the bottle, putting it in soups, sauces, stews, putting it on cue, rice dishes, pasta, sandwiches; you name it! After several weeks of burning myself and thinking about the attributes of AMHS, I came up with a recipe so simple, it’s almost embarrassing”¦ but wait till you taste it!

To make Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken, I first took chicken thighs and drumsticks and patted them dry with paper towels. AMHS has a great underlying garlic flavor, but before marinating, I just wanted to give the chicken an extra shot of garlic and a little salt, so I rubbed each piece with Adobo seasoning.

You can find Adobo seasoning in many different flavors, usually at your local Latin or Filipino grocery store, or in the spice or ethnic foods section of your supermarket. For this recipe, I just wanted the basic Adobo. Give the pieces a good coating and let them sit for a few minutes while you make the marinade.

Now here’s the ridiculously simple recipe. Remember, AMHS has a lot going on. It’s piquant from the mustard and plenty hot from the peppers. I didn’t want to mask any of its qualities; just provide a medium for helping it do the best possible job on the chicken that I was going to grill later. So, it’s one part AMHS and one part SOUR CREAM. That’s it.

A whole bottle of AMHS and a half pint (1 cup) of Sour Cream (Oh, Important! Use whole Sour Cream, NOT low-fat or non-fat) will coat 8 pieces of chix just fine. And the only other thing you might want to add would be a few dozen whole black peppercorns and/ or some crushed dried red chiles, as shown here:

Marinating time: This batch marinated for two hours and the flavor was great. But I think the best time range for this to really do its job would be 6 to 8 hours.

Grilling heat: Pretty hot. This a Tandoori style grilling method, meaning that the meat is supposed to cook more quickly at high heat, leaving it nicely cooked (not too burnt) on the outside and incredibly tender and moist on the inside.

Why Sour Cream? The addition of a dairy product to marinades is used extensively in places like India and the Middle East. I theorize that it is for three reasons; first, there are enzymes in dairy that seem to help tenderize meat. Second, dairy imparts a rich flavor to the marinade. After you mix AMHS with the sour cream, take a whiff and you will see what I mean. Heavenly! (Quite honestly, before throwing the chix in the marinade, I was tempted to dip some potato chips in it!) Third, it seems to protect the meat from drying out while it’s grilling. Here is the finished product sitting by a few of my newly-planted peppers; Cubanelles on the left, Habs on the right.

I loved this Tandoori-Style Ass Murdering Chicken so much, I can’t wait to try the same marinade on”¦well”¦almost everything! Using the same method of rubbing with Adobo, then marinating, I believe it’s going to be a home run on wings, pork loin, pork tenderloin, pork ribs, tiger shrimp, firm grilling fish like Swordfish or Rockfish, loin lamb chops and rack of lamb. Chiliheads, order a mess of this stuff for your summer grilling, not to mention that it’s a great condiment for burgers, dogs, cue, etc..

So, my friends, not to belabor the moral of the story, but I was guilty as charged of not opening my mind to certain sauces because of my personal dislike for crass labels. I admit it – I’ve been an ass! DK and others, good on ya for putting me in my place. I deserved that kick in the ass. Turk, your passion for peppers and sauce-making is an inspiration.

Additional information and ordering instructions at www.bisummo.com