Defcon Sauces

Posted November 21, 2005 by Nick Lindauer

After reading reviews on the Hot Pepper forum, I decided to support the little guys and ordered up a ‘Gift Set’ of Defcon Sauces. The gift set consists of a bottle of Defcon 1, 2 & 3 – with #1 being the hottest. The ‘Creator’ (as he likes to be called) is also coming out with a Defcon 0 soon.

Now, maybe I had a brain fart or something, but I did not realize that these were wing sauces. Maybe it’s the fact that the bottles don’t actually say these are wing sauces. Nor are they marketed as wing sauces. Just ‘sauces’.

The Creator is quite secretive about the ingredient list, only revealing that each of the three sauces contains varying amounts of Peppers (yes, more than one), Vinegars (yes, more than one), Butter (most likely from more than one cow), Salt (from the salt mines of Europe), Spices (now, if we said what they were we wouldn’t need you as a customer any more, now would we?). Defcon 1 contains additional Capsaicin extract as well.

Descriptions from the Defcon site:
DEFENSE CONDITION-3
The original sauce. This nectar of the gods was the first to arrive. developed nearly a decade ago, it has been tried and true, tasted and sampled by hundreds over the years. Mildly spicy, it was developed for chicken wings, but over the years has flourished as an all-purpose sauce.

DEFENSE CONDITION-2
A spicier variation of the universally known number 3 sauce. Not only does it have the full flavor of it milder number 3 companion, it has an added kick that will put a little sweat on your brow. Being the current reigning champion in the 2006 scovie awards for wing sauces, the masses are flocking to this concoction, and singing the praises of the defcon creator for reaching above his standard perfection they have all come to know him for. We here at defcon sauces are truly proud of this variant, and look forward to seeing it in your household as well.

DEFENSE CONDITION-1
Now, from the halls of Hell, some sages have said this so-called sauce is made with the glandular fluids from denizens known to inhabit the lowest levels of Hell. There is an inherent warning associated with this product, as many have succumbed to the evils within these demonic vessels. Not for faint of heart! And most definitely not for children! Only ingest this hellish contrivance in small amounts, as too much may cause so much of an endorphin rush, that the ingester’s cranial cavity may detonate.

I really enjoyed Defcon 2 on the buffalo wings I made the other Sunday and Defcon 1 is definately a wing only sauce, but Defcon 3 is within a class of it’s own. Stuck in limbo between wingdom and saucedom.

I could really do without the plastic nipple in the bottle – in fact I’ve removed it completely. It makes it far to hard to get enough of this sauce out of the bottle.

The buttery base of the sauce makes it perfect for a morning egg sandwich. I tossed some in the eggs before scrambling and then tossed a whole lot more onto the sandwich itself. I even found myself dipping the sandwich as well. This is definately a sauce that you want to buy in bulk – it’s quite tasty enough to slather all over your meal.