Review: Eat Shit and Die Hot Sauce
Talk about spreading good Karma!
When Nick told me he was sending me this sauce I was really excited. I knew it would be bad but I secretly hoped it would be good. Just that faint inkling underneath the guise and lame gimmick was a quality sauce.
I can appreciate a good gimmick sauce and I actually like the taste of some of them. But this one takes bad taste to a new level (Pun intended).
I will say that this sauce lives up to its name. I may not have died but certain parts of tongue and stomach did after trying this. The closest thing I can compare it too (not that I have tried) would be spicy diarrhea. If it was the intention to make a sauce as horrible as possible then they have succeeded. The only, and I repeat only thing positive about this sauce was the packaging. Not the label or the graphic, but the packaging in terms of shelf appeal. Even the name is a turn off.
What the hell were they thinking!?!?!?!?
Picture this. A group of sauce executives sitting in the boardroom for days trying to come up with the perfect title for their hot sacuce. At the 13th hour someone exclaims I got it everyone!!! How about we call this sauce Eat Shit and Die?!? A lull comes over the boardroom as each person mulls the title over… A roar of applause erupts, promotions abound and the birth of the worst sauce ever comes into fruition!
The sauce smells bad, looks like blended stomach contents, and tastes just foul. Someone actually spent money to create this. I initially found humour in this for about a second. But then I thought, does the maker think that chili-heads will buy just anything that contains coarse language. It is actually insulting. And from a business prospective can you really imagine who this will cater too. The product launch should have been a 12 hour before last call during frosh week. There is nothing redeeming about this. I don’t think they even attempted to make a good sauce. They just took the sludge of other concoctions and bottled it. Or as the saying went in high school – Flush twice, it is a long way to the cafeteria.
Whew – this review is cathartic. I appreciate every other hot sauce I have ever consumed much more now.
The only merit I could possibly conceive out of this is for collectors of gimmick sauces. This is one bottle you can show off and never have to worry about opening.
Ingredients: Habanero Peppers, Vinegar, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder and Salt.
Ratings:
Packaging 1/10 – I thought it was cool for about a 1/2 second – no spelling mistakes – even the toilet with fart putty was dried out and useless
Aroma 0/10 – Think of the toilet scene from Trainspotting – oh wait the outhouse on the label will take care of that
Appearance 0/10 – You know when you had the flu and looked back in toilet…
Taste 0/10 – This is what I imagine a rotting corpses intestines would taste like
Heat 4/10 – Not even worth registering – they even screwed that up
Overall 1/10
