Posted September 14, 2006 by Nick Lindauer in Reviews

Review: Dr. Gonzo’s “Professional Grade” Habaneromash

Well, the “Good Doctor” was hesitant to proceed with this experiment, but after listening to the buying public, the next level of heat has arrived!

This hot pepper relish will give you at least a nanosecond worth of great “Mash” flavor before the Habenero peppers reach out and have their way with you (kind of like playing with a rabid snapping turtle in heat). Its distinctive ‘safety orange’ or ‘flame red’ contents make it easy to find on the store shelf and is the quickest route to an endorphin rush in our product line.

This product is not to be trifled with. It varies in heat from 300,000 to 500,000 (Scoville) units in heat depending on how the peppers come in. ADULT SUPERVISION IS REQUIRED when you crack open a jar (we’re talkin’ MATURE adults, not people like us). The perfect ace in the hole for that certain someone in your life that claims “nothing is too hot.” Have fun, be creative, but don’t abuse your friends and family.

Man, I went about the sampling of Dr. Gonzo’s products all backwards. Having tried the sweet jalapenomash first, I was not prepared for the Habaneromash to be as hot as it was (not a bad thing) – but I wouldn’t have eaten a killer omlette the morning before a big meeting, if you catch my drift. 😈

Ingredients: Habanero Peppers, Onions, Sugar, Vinegar, Lime Juice, Salt

Smell: First whiff.. Sweet, oniony sweet. Then… burning, habanero burn. Mmmmmm

Appearance: Just like the jalapeno mash, the mash has a consistency of a slighty blended salsa – no large chunks, but not watery either.

Taste Test: I first tired this after spponing it on my omelet. I decided I’d better give it an initial try and took an entire spoonful in one shot. Big mistake. The sweetness is there, as in the jalapenomash, but only for a nanosecond before the full on heat of the habaneros hits your entire mouth with a sucker punch.

Field Test: Before tasting the Professional Grade Habaneromash, I had spooned heaps of it onto an omelet (well, an egg cheese thing that was supposed to resemble an omlette). Since my bed was already made and I’m not one to waste food, I dug in to the omelet after saying my prayers.

It was good – real good. The sweetness of the sugar & onions made the heat good and mellow – but being a habanero heat, it builds and builds the more you eat. So by the time I was finished with my breakfast, I has a full on sweat going on – but strangely I wanted more.

Conclusion: If you liked the “Free Range” Jalapenomash and have tried TorchBearer’s Slaughter sauce – you’ll find that this “Professional Grade” Habaneromash is a marriage of those two (without actually being related at all). There’s a good reason the good Doctor just took home a 1st Place Golden Chile – this stuff rocks!